Why do some people see nothing wrong with saying you don't look old enough to be married ? I find it offensive.

Take it as a compliment and move on.

Why do some people get offended over such trivial things?

It’s a compliment. They aren’t trying to be rude. Be thankful you look young and that people give you enough notice to comment on it.

Would you rather I say you look old and wrinkly, it’s amazing you aren’t in an old folk home?

That is what you should consider offensive.

The moment I read your question, this song came to my mind.

So Young by The Students. It’s on Facebook.

No offense.

Pls listen to it. Its an oldie and apparently you are not alone.

Yes you’re too sensitive. And yes they are rude. But would you rather have them say who’d marry an old hag like you?

Never feel that you are too sensitive.

However, snapping at people expressing what to them is a compliment, will not help. You could say, with a small pained smile, “Yes, I’ve heard that before.” Most people will pick up on what you are saying and not mention it again.

I have a friend, who at 51, was just carded at a casino. She was thrilled.

Some people are just rude and have no sense of what is and is not appropriate. They are the same people who would think nothing of saying “you are too thin”, “you are too fat”, “should you spend that much?” etc.

Personally, I would ignore it. There are worse things in life than being told you look young.

It’s better than them saying “I guess you like the young ones.”

It’s actually an awkward thing to say, but they are trying to be complimentary. Next time, just say “we waited until I was legal.”

@suzanna28: “Am I too sensitive or are these people just rude .”

You are too sensitive. And you look old and wrinkly.

Seriously though – Do you anticipate that you’ll continue to be “offended” by people making compliments to you about you looking young for much longer? At what point will you miss these “offensive” comments?

Offensive? If it were me, (and of course it is not) I would find something more serious to be offended by.

LOL! If someone told ME that, I’d faint dead away! It’s actually quite a compliment, and will become moreso as the years roll by. : )

I’m told all the time I look too young to have a 20 year old. Wha-hoo!! Celebrate it :D

Eh? Isn’t that a compliment?

I understand why the comment might make you uncomfortable. People say to me I must have gotten married very young when they hear I have been married 19 years and they know I am in my 40’s. I always say, “I got married when I was 25, I don’t think that is very young, I think it is fairly typical.” Maybe it feels a little offensive because adults usually dwell on young people not getting married, and there is an undercurrent of you shouldn’t be married, or you were foolish to marry so young.

But, really, if the comment is made because you look young, just take it as a compliment. Something happens when people turn 40, everyone under 30 looks sooo young. Well most people under 30, if they are in reasonable shape.

Personally I think you are being too sensitive. I am always mistaken for being younger than I am (whilst buying a train ticket recently I was asked if I was entitled to child’s prices. The maximum age for child’s prices is 15 and I am 25!). I can’t understand why something as trivial as this would offend you.

@JLeslie My grandmother and her sisters all married before they were in their twenties. Some perspective for ya. :D

@Nullo Yeah. I have friend who is a few years older than me, and her great grandma is the age my grandma would be if she were still alive. Once during a conversation she was kind of thrown by my grandmas age, but my grandma married after getting her college degree and then waited 5 years to have a baby. Back then that was not very common, especially where my friends family is from. Like you say perspective.

Now that I am older, everyone looks young to me. Imagine how my doctor feels when I say, “you look too young to be a doctor.”

But then, I have always looked young for my age. When I was 18 none of the guys would ask me out because I looked 13. When I got my first grandchild, everyone thought she was mine. Now she is 17 and people stop and stare when she calls me “grandma.” It used to be an annoyance to look like a kid when I wanted to be an adult, but now I have no complaints.

I can’t imagine anyone is making this statement to be rude or offensive. They’re saying that you look young, which is almost always a compliment. Why do you think it’s offensive? You stated that you look younger than your age, so the people that are commenting are just saying, “Oh, I didn’t realize you were as old as you are. You look fantastic!” Take the compliment and don’t look for offenses where none are meant.

I imagine whether it comes across as rude would depend on the way it is said. If it is said as a judgement, “you are too young to be married”, it would feel rude.

Nonetheless, I stand by there are plenty of worse things to be worried about in life. Looking young will pass… if you are lucky you will always look younger than you are but there will come a time when they will stop asking you for ID.

I’ve always looked young for my age, too. In my teens and 20’s, it drove me crazy. Store clerks were rude and wouldn’t wait on me because they thought I was a child. My peers teased me. But the older I get, I’m finding that it’s flattering to be told I look young. And sometimes it can lead to some funny situations. Whenever I go to the bar with my SO (who’s the same age as I am), the servers always give him dirty looks because they think he’s contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

@Skaggfacemutt “When I was 18 none of the guys would ask me out.” I can relate to that. When I was 18, my crush’s 13 year old cousin asked me out because he thought I was his age! Awkward!

It’s not rude, it’s intended as a compliment and should be taken that way. I was still getting asked for ID to buy alcohol when I was 36 (and here, the legal age is 18 not 21). It was more embarrassing for the cashier when it turns out I’m 10 or 15 years older than they are.

Last year (at the age of 44) I went with a friend to the cinema – now admittedly my friend is 22 and maybe the cashier looked at him and not me – but he asked if we wanted teen tickets. My quick-witted friend was about to say yes but I blew it by bursting out laughing.

@lonelydragon That reminds me of when I went to a club with a date when I was 38 and working at the high school. They asked me for ID at the door, and all I had was my school activity card. It said “faculty” on it, but at first they were not going to let me in! Showing them my activity card didn’t help matters (ha-ha).