Have you ever considered what the people who have found you attractive over the years all have in common?

Most of the people I have been really close to, were born the same month as myself. It seems like Sags just attract other Sags with their magnetic “people person” personalities and outgoing manner. In my lifetime, I have never met a stranger and I guess this is why I have so many friends.

I have been blessed.

They all seem to have darker hair, listen to some pretty good music, and know how to make me swoon. Well, the ones I have actually talked to, at least.

I seem to attract men and be attracted to men who have a good balance of masculine/feminine qualities. I love a man who is comfortable with his “feminine” side. A man who is totally uber masculine bores me to tears.

I am very stable. My parents stayed married. My brother and sisters were successful. I had a good job, a sense of humor, and wanted to be in a commited relationship.

It was either that, or bad eyesight, poor personal choices, and a need for abuse.

They all happened to be my wife.

They are all 2D

Besides their awesome taste in women? ~

Honestly, the only thing most of them have had in common is that they’re generally good people. (I’ve dated one or two bad guys, but all the rest have been decent.) The guys I’ve dated have been so different in most other respects that I can’t really think of any particular trait they’ve shared.

Well, several of them were short blond girls. It’s like they wanted a male version of themselves :) They were all intelligent, but quirky and maybe a little hipster. I found that interesting. They were all also very positive fun outgoing people to be around. Not much negative about them. So if I were straight, they probably would’ve made for a good relationship.

Then the one boyfriend I’ve had was kind of artistic and “spacey”, if you will, and also very kind and generous and a little submissive (not that that’s a negative thing…it’s just that I used to picture myself as being the more submissive one in a relationship and that turned out to be the opposite). The only other guy I’ve known for sure “fell for me” was kind of effeminate, but also genuinely fun, outgoing, and positive. He, however, didn’t seem to have the “quirkiness” that the other people have had.

Not one of them was without a pulse.

They were all quirky outsiders.

In college, a friend of mine called me Belle Watling I was incredibly offended!! A prostitute!!?? But my friend explained—I attracted guys (Rhetts) who wanted someone to talk to, who didn’t judge them, had great advice to offer, and was friendly (not necessarily sexual) with them… then they say thank you and go after a Scarlett.

I’ve found this to be generally true. I tend to be the highly appreciated “friend” girl, not a “girlfriend” girl and tend to temporarily attract guys who are looking for someone that understands them without judging, but they didn’t stick around. At work, I tend to have that same vibe—male employees confide in me and seek my advice, but nothing (thankfully!) ever gets weird.

On the other hand, I used to also attract dysfunctionals who needed a non-judgmental person that rationalized their behavior. I personally am attracted to quirkiness- so sometimes dysfunction can masquerade as quirkiness. That has changed, though, because I grew and changed.

Since my separation, I haven’t attracted anyone at all so who knows what’s next.

I have no idea. I never asked because it never occurred to me. Good question.

Nothing that I can see. They were all very different. Apart from they all fancied me.

Yes! All are brunette.

Bellatrix I love that expression, lol. Fancied!

:-) It says it all though hey?

All heavy drinkers.

@ratboy
ever considered plastic surgery?

@ragingloli—yes, but I tried to economize through self surgery.

So many weird nerds of all sorts. Large majority of which I was not interested in. I’ve also gotten a nice string of older guy friends(I’m 22, they’re all around 28–33) who find me attractive but know I’m not going to go for them.

I feel my old friend Creepy Anime Guy gets to be pointed out because he never faltered in his attraction to me no matter how much I tried to avoid his awkward attempts to get close to me. He was this guy at my old anime club who had a very full bushy unkempt beard, and wore a cape around all winter, was the awkward annoying guy even among all the other nerd folk, and he had the most determined crush on me of anyone ever. And he spawned many a great tale, he has the largest part of my creepy dudes stories I call The Creeper Files.

Which yeah, I’ve attracted so many creepy guys.

Then there’s the handful of really awesome guys that found me attractive that I was/am attracted to, all of whom are handsome artsy musicians. And just about all of them live far away (this is life’s big joke on me I think! lol). But these are the guys I want to attract, there’s so much demand for them though, they’re always being snatched up.

What’s all this say about me? Ha, well for a while I was mostly hanging around weird nerdy sorts, and being one of the only girls in the room, usually in cute summery outfits with plenty of skin, I guess it was natural they’d be attracted to me. The creepers, I wasn’t really asking for alot of that shit, but I did have a harder time just telling people like that to fuck off, sometimes I would humor them with a conversation, which only led to them telling me they wanted to get in my pants.

Alot of that was still in my teen years, like 15–18. But I was in a relationship for about 3 years and so now things are different. Hard to bridge that gap of time. These days I’ve become much more aware of how I present myself to people and I make sure to try and not let people have the wrong impression of me, which I feel like I used to let people get the wrong impression and I wouldn’t correct them until things got real awkward.

I realized the men I’ve ever been with or interested in were all musicians.

1 played the bass, 1 played the piano/sang/played the guitar, the other was a manager for a band.

That’s the only pattern I’ve noticed, is my musician men. Don’t know why, but ehh.

It is difficult to pick up on any certain behaviors, careers, hobbies/interests, physical traits, etc when it comes to women that either wanted to date me or at least take to me in a positive way. I do seem to attract blonds or redheads much easier than brunettes for some reason. I also tend to attract (and be attracted to) women that are more introverted (not meaning too shy here) like myself. Opposites do not attract when it comes to me.

The people who have “fallen for” me have all been outsider freaks with a passion for sincerity, meaningful discussion, and social justice. They’ve also all shared my tendency to be a self-righteous asshole sometimes.

They all had impeccable taste.

@tom_g Sounds like I could fall for you.

Nope. There’s been quite the variation: big, small, classy, not classy, smart, dumb. Lol.

They like smart, funny opinionated women – up until the point where they don’t any more.

amazing good taste in men ~

They have either been significantly older than I am (as in 30 or more years), physically or mentally challenged or really, really, odd. (Example: @xnightflowerx‘s Creepy Anime Guy.)

An amazing lack of money-? Lol.

Seriously, it’s dimples. Cute dimples.

Most of them who were serious about me were Catholic. Lapsed Catholic. The only one who wasn’t, was a Protestant, and I married her. Many were red-headed. All were well-educated. Most were artistic. Most were politically progressive and I think all identified themselves as feminists. All were pretty strong-minded and strong-willed. Their fathers were professionals: lawyers, university professors, teachers, engineers. They all came from large families—three or more siblings. Most wanted to make the world a better place. Almost all were taller than me.

What does this say about me? I like strong women. I like women who share my politics. I like women who are creative and driven. I am not threatened by women who make more than I do (since, until my wife retired, I never made more than a woman I was involved with). I was never hung up on things like my height and the women who loved me weren’t either.

I’m also a guy who works to feel and express his emotions. These were women who appreciated this. They didn’t need a man who made more or who was macho or who kept all his feelings to himself. They appreciated a guy who would listen to them, and who wouldn’t tell them what to do, or try to bully them or put them in their place. A lot of women complain about that kind of behavior in men, but they still seem to put up with it, so I’m not sure they really mind it, but the women I have been involved with seriously were not going to take that shit from men, and I didn’t and don’t think men should treat women that way, and I’d never treat a woman as anything other than an equal. I expect the same in return.

I think the women I’ve been involved with are not just special as far as I’m concerned, but I think they stand out amongst women in general. They are all very honest and ethical. They have strong beliefs that they owe, in part, to the religious upbringings they left behind. I think they took the best from their religions and left behind the hypocrisy. They were all warm, caring women. Some were more outgoing than others, though, and some had more issues than others. Still, I think their issues balanced mine in some way I have yet to figure out.

Both of my husbands were tall, dark and handsome, had birthdays two days apart and were in the same class at the same university. I didn’t know husband number two when I was hanging around the dorms, library, pubs, newspaper office and campus with husband-to-be number two.

The family, for a time, made very tasteless jokes about where I would find husband number 3.
At a class reunion, perhaps?

Probably was expired prescriptions on their eye wear that did it for them. I know mine have expired and I got no complaints so far.

@woodcutter They can find you attractive in more than one way. If people had to find me physically attractive to get involved with me, then I’d still be a bachelor. Fortunately women aren’t as obsessed with looks as men are.

Most of them are moody, with a tendency towards melancholy. Also, they have a tendency to blow hot and cold.