@6rant6 Good points. In general, I try to avoid making people right or wrong in my own head. I say, “in general,” but that doesn’t mean I succeed. On many issues, it seems clear to me that a person is wrong because their position hurts others. Then I try to remind myself that we may discuss this conclusion. Perhaps the hurt is not as obvious to others as it is to me.
But sometimes it is not so much a policy that hurts others as an idea. With my avatar, it is the idea that the sight of a human behind is meant as an insult. In some people’s minds, that is the only way to read it. Never mind that for many men, a woman’s ass is an incredibly beautiful and life-affirming vision. Then again, the very idea that you would see a sexually arousing image could be insulting. And round and round we go.
I’d like for us to “hold a space” (fluther) where we can consider all these ideas without being personally insulted. If the image is offensive (or any other idea is offensive), I’d like to be able to examine that idea. Why do you take offense? Where is this coming from? What are the reasons?
Now, will you please interrogate me as to my opinions on the matter. I hope we can have a reciprocal relationship in investigating this idea and all ideas here, even the ones that are most anathema to me. If we can talk about abortion or whatever with mutual respect and without resorting to name calling just because you find the idea so offensive, then it seems to me we learn more.
Which sort of gets to the issue of why are we here? I think that a lot of us come to try to persuade others. Some of us come to try to learn from others. Most of us probably are here to do both.
Q&A can be seen as a spectator sport. Who is most persuasive? Who wins the arguments most often?
It can be seen as a place to gather information. Although what kind of information in the time of google? It only makes sense insofar as the answers can not be found on Google.
It can be seen as a game to be played—not so much for winning arguments but for other things. Perhaps for lurve. Or style points. Or to keep a conversation going. Maybe to generate eyeballs. So many ways of judging success.
Whatever, taking offense and giving offense get in the way of most of these goals. Never-the-less, it is necessary to give offense in some situations. If someone offends you first, a good strategy is to just hit back. Tit for tat is a very successful game theory approach to human interaction. People usually don’t want to be a in a war like that. Tit for tat.
On the other hand, offense is sometimes necessary to grab a person’s attention. To tell them this is important to you. Sometimes offense is inadvertent. Not meant.
There is a place for offense and offensiveness here. It should be seen as strategic. There are better ways of wielding it, and worse ways. Sometimes it is the last resort of the weak. “I’m offended,” when you have nothing else to say. Sometimes it is a deliberate provocation or an ideological nature and if may not even be sincerely meant. It is purely a tactic.
Still, overall it is a worthy tool, I think. It has its place. Sometimes people annoy me with how they get offended, but I know how to talk back, either with my own offense, or without.