Was sex more "sexy" when it was more subtle (Read details)

Sometimes less is more.

What magic and mystery? Romance is like a donut, it looks good, it tastes good, but… ultimately it drags your ass down. lol
Hows that for losing the mystery? haha

My “old fart” reality based humor. :-P

The other day I watched “Girl with a Pearl Earring” for the second time. I think this movie, and a few others I’ve seen, are a perfect illustration of what you’re talking about. I won’t spoil the plot, but basically the two people in love (or so we are lead to believe) in that movie never even kiss. The most that happens physically between them is right towards the end of the movie, and involves the guy resting his hand on the side of her cheek, and then brushing a tear away that was running down her face.

I have to say that that was one of the most romantically intense scenes I have ever seen in a movie, for the little that happened…I agree with @YoKoolAid…sometimes less is more.

Proudly responding from the “old fart” camp, I believe it was a “better” sexy. For me anyway. My brain needs a hint rather than a schematic to get my wheels turning in the right direction.

And I LOVED “Girl with a Pearl Earring”! Not only for the very suggestive sexiness, but the stunningly beautiful, brilliant art direction. Every scene was like looking at a painting.

A thousand times yes!

Nowadays it’s all flaunt, and surgically enhance, and surgically remove, and contrived glamour. What I wouldn’t give for “understated” to come back.

Romance is a lost art, unless someone takes the time to find it and use it. It takes forethought and the desire to please the other person. Sex, yeah, that ship has sailed. There is no going back. The mystery is gone. There is a certain amount of freedom, in that. I“m just not sure where.
@yankeetooter I thought the movie was done well. There was sexually based violence and what would have been the treatment of it, by society, as well. Good movie, for anyone who has not seen it.

My answer is yes. I know a man in the music business and he told me he is so tired of scantily clad girls. I don’t understand but that’s what he said.
When I was growing up “sexy” meant a fishnet top, crossed legs or tight shorts. I feel it’s lost it’s meaning. Seems like most of the women on tv or at the beach are almost naked so what the heck is sexy now?

Hmmm, I think this discussion is losing something, because I don’t see any of our young users posting and I would like to hear what they have to say.

I think the sexual tension in suggestiveness without full revelation is more titillating. It leaves room for the imagination.

I have quite a bit of respect for women, who subscribe to walks of life that cause them to cover up in traditional garb. The purpose of this is to hold, that which is pure and only meant for their life partners, away from the eyes of others. I am not at all dumping my way of life for another, don’t get me wrong. But there is something to say for holding some of it back. Ok, yup I’m officially ooooolllllllldddddd.

@janbb: You mean that “Paddlin’ Madeline” is not simply about “Down by the Old Mill Stream” or “Up a Lazy River”? (Or are they songs with hidden meanings as well?)

It’s also the playfulness of the old sexy that I miss; the double entendres and teasing.

@gailcalled I think you’re on to something there! This was the first time I heard this song and I was definitely hearing some vibes.

For better or for worse (I think better) we have different rules we can operate under today than the more deprived and suppressed days 40 plus years ago. To think that they would only allow Elvis on TV if the cameras shot him from the waist up? Back then song writers had to be far more suggestive and creative with their words that the in your face sexual non-innuendo of today. But thankfully there are still enough artists who are dedicated to writing tasteful songs devoid of blatant base songs and lyrics.

One reason I like Amos Lee’s songwriting.

Yes.

There’s no more subtlety. Innuendo has become “In your end, yo!”.

Less is more. Particularly regarding clothing.

The anticipation does make it more fun to pursue, yes.

Increasing lack of subtlety in discourse is a symptom of civilization decadence.

Yes, it’s all about mystery and allure when it loses that it is no longer sexy.

I think KFC had it about right, “Finger Licking Good”
So understated/abstract & yet…..accurately reflects the adolescent fumblings experienced by many a horny sexual novice.

Was sex “sexier” when it was subtler? GQ. Thank you for asking.

I really think the operative word in the question is subtlety. That’s what’s lacking. But we must face the fact that the human race as a whole lacks subtlety and always has regarding sex.

Read Love’s Labour’s Lost by Shakespeare, and read the scholarly work done on it. Boyet and one of the ladies sing a song about hitting the mark, and at the time, “hit” was equivalent to today’s “fuck.” It is possibly the bawdiest song in all of Shakespeare. While they weren’t cavorting on stage in skimpy clothing, they held nothing back in the words. Nothing is left to the imagination. I played Boyet a couple of summers ago, and the staging of the song was positively scandalous. What fun!

Sex is a basic drive. It will therefore draw out the best and worst in us. I’m really not sure we’ve lost anything with the sexual revolution. It’s my opinion that we’ve gained much by abandoning the repressive habits of yesteryear and acquiring a freer stance to live our loves.

I’m not old, I was just born during the wrong era. I love the romance and subtleness of the past. I find it much sexier because it is what I would consider classy and very private. A lot of people have lost the magic and mystery because they make it so public. They don’t understand and practice the intimacy of it. To me, a subtle butt rub is much sexier than a butt grab as is a slow dance rather then a body thrusting, bump dance.
A grinding dance is very sexy if it’s done slowly and is kept intimate.—(If that makes any sense.)

I don’t think sex is more or less sexy when it is subtle. Our ideas about sex are all ideas. Nothing is written in stone. It all depends on the cultural references and what you compare this moment to. Personally, I like both subtle and in your face. It’s more of a mood thing than a judgment thing. Sometimes I want subtle. Sometimes I want people to strip and get to it—like porn.

I don’t want to watch sex on television or in the movie unless it is porn and I am watching it on purpose. I think all subtlety is gone, along with good taste and propriety. And yes I am an old fart and my parents probably said the same thing and the kids of today will be saying the same thing about their kids and grandchildren. But hey I don’t know if that is bad, after all a lot of very advanced civilizations have come and gone and it makes you wonder what brought them down.

I feel like I’m not understanding something about this question. I want my sex sexy, but of course anticipation can be sexy too.

Subtlety rocks. It shows sophistication, intellect and on many levels, shows heightened respect and caring.

Brashness and crudeness are total turn offs.

Somehow this all seems vaguely ironic.

^^ Why? Is vague irony different from irony?

Yes, @gailcalled. It is vague. That’s why she put in the adverb.

This was written in a vaguely ironic way. It’s like subtle irony, only less specific.

@wundayatta; You are using a tautology, which therefore explains nothing.

Give me examples of vague irony, subtle irony and irony, please.

I have heard of dramatic and tragic irony but never any other qualifiers.

Examples are right in front of you.

‘Where?

@gailcalled It feels ironic, but I haven’t quite hammered out the particulars of why it feels ironic.
@wundayatta I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong pronoun there.

@Nullo; Speaking of pronouns, what does “it” refer back to?

Too nice outside. I am going to take an unsubtle walk with my cat now.

@gailcalled “It” refers to the OP.

It lost its mystery long ago; that boat has already sailed. Sex is more of a commodity now, though it is attempted to be seen as something special. It is a fad at best that if you are not involved it speaks to your self-worth as a human; if you are not ”boinkable” you must be on par with being a circus Cretin, or worse. It is still used to sell many items and fuel sit com (still subtly, but only because of the censors), and as ”cake” in many movies, however one you can’t eat.