What are the differences between a person who can accept correction and one who gets defensive when they're corrected?

Their egos.

Some people are simply angry at everything even their own shadow and are waiting for a reason to blast away.

If you assume, fundamentally, most people either like you or will eventually, a correction is no big deal. You see it as a favor, or mild teasing.

If you assume that most people dislike you, and somebody corrects you, than you interpret it as an attack, because everybody is always out to get you anyways.

One is rational, and the other is not. The latter probably has some problems with: insecurity, ego, intelligence, etc.

I don’t think she has a problem with intelligence in this case. Insecurity did come to mind.

She’s still ranting at me (although an English teacher jumped in on my side!) I’m thinking a high school student.

I’m of two minds about this (but not really): on the one hand, if it’s something I know little about and I just say something stupid, by all means, I’ll happily be corrected so as to sound like less of a tool in the future. But if it’s something about which I’m rather knowledgeable, then I’d probably get a bit defensive.

Also, I’ll add that English has been switching ‘me’ and ‘I’ for centuries. It’s like we have some kind of fetish for it.

I am familiar with the story about the young man and I would posit that the thread was already emotionally loaded (discussions of racism tend to work that way). I imagine that the same person, in a different atmosphere would have taken your comment in the spirit intended.

But for her to point out that she was raised differently and doesn’t fit the stereotype, since she said “do they think WE all . . . ,” I would also guess that she represents the same group of people being stereotyped in the story. As such, she may have interpreted your comment to be further evidence that someone is trying to find fault or to continue to stereotype her less than perfect grammar.

I might have interpreted your comment similarly given the thread that preceded it. Knowing you here, I can imagine that your intention was different, but it seems the impact was the same.

I have been consciously working at not being defensive when criticized lately and it is hard work. I think having a more intact ego helps.

@janbb Wanna talk about it?

Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
Proverbs 18: 6–7 A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.

@Blackberry Awww

@Kayak8 Yes, I did get that from her post, that she’s black. But when she stressed that she was determined to speak “proper English,” I didn’t take that into consideration when I corrected that VERY common error.

@KoleraHeliko…you said, “I’ll add that English has been switching ‘me’ and ‘I’ for centuries. It’s like we have some kind of fetish for it.”
Foresooth of what doest thou speak? Thy have link or proof thereof?

Oh you guys! Might Come See… Just look for Dutchess and some Butterfly girl…

@Dutchess_III Totally get it, just trying to share a different perspective about the overall emotion of the conversation.

Maturity and self esteem.