Do I have outdated notions of truth and integrity?

This doesn’t sound like it has much to do with truth and integrity. Sounds to me like you’re controlling and irritable. Sorry.

I still remember losing a good friend in third grade when I corrected her as to location of the Museum of Natural History. I was right, but she was angry.

I’m not making the connection between “integrity” in the examples you have shared.
I see it more as ego, and ignorance.
As in your egos need to be right in the face of others ignorance, which, in the examples you have given seems innocent to me.
If someone is misinformed, calling a Lab an Irish Setter or misidentifies a tree, that is not lack of integrity it is simple misinformation.

Unless something is life threatening or, obviously might cause harm if the misinformation is not addressed I feel it best to keep our egos in check and not become a boorish, always correcting type.
It’s the old ” Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”
No offense, but…your irritation at these silly examples you have shared is YOUR problem.

Not everyone is an expert on dog breeds and tree species. Minor, don;t sweat the small stuff.

@ nikipedia & @coloma I appreciate you feedback, that is why I asked the question in the first place.
I guess I should have added that attempting to follow driving directions or a recipe from this same in-law (that confuses dog breeds and tree species) has left me frustrated..I no longer take anything from this person at face value, which to me is integrity. (and GPS now has elliniated the need for driving directions ,Thank Heavens!!)

If someone asks me for driving directions and I am respond in a cavalier fashion and I’m wrong, I feel bad. (Guess it is how I was raised.)

@WhiteWingDove

Yes, but…one cannot be dishonest or lack integrity if they don’t KNOW they are misinformed.
They are not intentionally attempting to deceive you, they are just unconscious and misinformed.
Forgive them for they do not know. haha

Correction is all in the delivery, if you make it a big deal, people will feel like they’ve had their hand slapped. If you just throw it out like it’s no big deal, people get the “correct” information but also feel like it’s just a conversation among friends.

“What a well behaved Irish Setter!”
“Bowser’s just a silly lab mix, aren’t you Bowser? <pet dog> He does try though.”

“Oh, look at the wonderful Apple blossoms!”
“Do you think they’re apple? I’d been wondering what the trees were, but couldn’t figure it out. Have you ever seen fruit on them?”

Same information, different delivery, different challenge to the original speaker.

@funkdaddy

Well said, yes, it Is all in the delivery and making others feel bad, wrong, stupid, is not the honeyed approach, it is the vinegar approach, and we all know that one will catch more flies with honey rather than vinegar. ;-)

It also comes down to just how important something really is, pride is responsible for more failed relationships than anything else.

These are small annoyances to most people and, as has been pointed out, a matter of ignorance, NOT lack of integrity. Better keep a check on your blood pressure.

From my observation on your details above, you sound like a rigid thinker.

If someone was mis-informed, either I’d clarify or I’d let it go at that instant. It also sounds to me like you’re holding grudges against said in-law over his/her idle chit-chat.

When someone is attempting to make small talk they may not care about facts as much as they do care about spending time with you.

Having integrity =/= being right about everything. Honest people are often wrong.
Being wrong about tree or dog species and being awful at giving directions doesn’t mean this person is lacking in truthfulness or integrity.

Even after reading your explanation, I don’t make the connection between uninformed and lacking integrity. As to your sister-in-law, if you said to her ‘actually the dog is a ‘Labrador mix’, how would she react? We all make mistakes. None of us know everything. Sometimes the ‘bigger’ person will let such errors go because in the whole scheme of things does it matter? Should we correct someone and make them feel small just because we can?

@Bellatrix I agree 100%, an obsessive need to correct others is as arrogant as it gets, infact in some cases it could be called emotional abuse.

Integrity is the virtue that acts in opposition to the vices of hypocrisy and corruption. It is what keeps us from betraying our principles out of convenience and what keeps us from acting viciously when we could get away with it. Being honest, meanwhile, is the virtue that acts in opposition to the vices of duplicity and distortion. It is what keeps us from trying to mislead people by saying things we believe to be false and what keeps us from misrepresenting what we believe to be the truth.

As such, I find myself in agreement with those above who see in your relatives and colleagues instances of ignorance and overcautiousness rather than a lack of integrity or honesty. Your confidence is to be applauded—so long as it is not ill-founded—but others are not necessarily to be disparaged for their lack of it. Perhaps they simply are not sure their ideas are good ones. Perhaps they want to see what others think about them. If so, it would be wrong of them to put them out there with absolute confidence.

Something similar can be said about making false statements by accident. On the one hand, you are correct: “it is better to remain silent and be thought stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” On the other hand, “if you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you’ll never learn.” In antagonistic circumstances or situations in which one is trying to say something smart just to get praise, the first quote seems more apt. In a safe place where such antagonism is lacking, however, the second quote seems more apt.

I hope, then, that you are not antagonistic to either your relatives or your colleagues. By all means, continue to correct them. Be sure that you do it in the right way, however, and for the right reasons. Otherwise, your actions become less a way of helping others and more a way of isolating yourself. I will not deny that some people need to be spoken to forcefully to even consider that they might be wrong. Sometimes you have to be tough. Still, be gentle when you can be. I understand being devoted to the truth, but truth includes virtue.