(NSFW) Does sex bind or part a couple?

This depends on so many things. Particularly the age of the individuals.

It seems like you are talking about teenagers. I would say that having sex is almost all that is on the mind of teenage boys.

However, the girls that are giving them sex are not necessarily the girls they would want to marry or have a life with.

It varies from person to person.

They can both be true, together with dozens of other opinions, maybe as many different opinions as there are different characters.

It’s called respect and it varies with different people of different ages.

As a teenager, I also thought that a girl that gave herself to all the boys, was a slut (for lack of a better word). Used goods that I would never touch. There was always one in high school that fit this category. The girl would not be pretty and I guess she thought this was the only way to gain attention for herself.

This is a personal choice and like I said, it differs with ages and situations.

I guess that during the actual act you and your partner are bound but once that’s done you tend to part.

I’m gonna answer all the above.

Couples can bond, or couples can bind themselves together, for kinky reasons, or if on a clipper ship about to founder. I, on the other hand, am bounding about with anticipatory joy while waiting for other responses.

if you put your tongue any further in your cheek you are bound to bite a part of it.

@Blondesjon: My clipper ship is foundering in the bounding main, of course. And you and I have bonded over llamas, which generates a tie that binds much more strongly than sex.

@therestoffluther . . . For the record, I am bound in part by an oath to let you all know that I have never had sex with a llama.

@gailcalled . . . Olet suosikkini @gailcalled koskaan.

Good sex often keeps couples together even when the rest of the relationship is unhealthy.
A lot of people mistake sexual intensity as love when it is simply sexual intensity.
Yes, sex is intended to be a bonding experience, for those that truly want a bonded relationship, but sex is not love. As far as the double standards…aaagh, hard to believe that programming is still alive and well in these times, but it most certainly is.

My ex husband and I were extremely sexually compatible, but in the really important areas, we were not. The sexual string can only be stretched just so far before it unravels if other important values and goals are not shared.

It depends on the sex.

A guy may have sex with a girl and subsequently be unable to see anybody but her, but don’t mistake correlation for causation. Sex is only a part of what binds a couple to each other. And I hope the girl is equally bound to the guy, but that ain’t always the case.

In my experience, I get very close to a woman and I fall in love with her, but it is not until we have sex that I feel sure of her. If she’s willing to do that with me, it seems like she takes me seriously. Sex is the kind of thing where, if you want it to work, you really have to let down any boundaries between you.

If you have sex, and you feel those boundaries are still there, then you know the relationship is not working. In a case like that, I can see the relationship just stopping. But it isn’t the fault of the sex. It’s because there is a lot else that isn’t working, and sex is just a test of it. There are very few people who can fake the feelings of love in sex. You can definitely fake having fun, but you can’t fake the emotions. You either feel them or you don’t, and sex makes it very obvious which it is, if you happen to be paying attention.

A lot of people don’t. So they miss it. Which means they aren’t really into the relationship, but they don’t know it. Unfortunately, a lot of people stay involved in relationships with no there there because they don’t know how to see a there or a not-there.

@wundayatta Can you please translate for me the last sentence of your last paragraph?

I’ll try. “There,” in a relationship is kind of like “heart” or “soul.” It’s the stuff that binds people together—all of it together, not broken out into constituent parts. The problem I see is that many people don’t know how to recognize a “there” in a relationship. They look at surfaces and how things look, or they are tied up in their ideas about what relationships are or should be and don’t pay attention to what is actually happening.

Sometimes, because appearances are right, people think they have a relationship when there is really nothing supporting it. It’s all how it looks and feels on the surface. Other times, there is a relationship there, but people don’t see it because it doesn’t look like their expectations for a relationship.

My brother was involved with a woman for years, but because she did not look the way he expected his one true love to look, he kept her at a distance for a decade or so. Finally, he seemed to recognize that he was actually in an honest-to-god relationship, and while they aren’t married, at least he brings her to family functions now, and they are living together. For years, everyone else could see what was going on, but it took him a long time to figure it out himself.

Other people think one thing makes a relationship. For some, that’s sex. For others, it might be living together. For others, conversation. They have one thing, but because it is only one thing, the relationship doesn’t go very deep, and thus is is very fragile and can be broken up over small things that would not cause problems in most more complete relationships.

Well, speaking as an individual female, I can say that for me, an intellectual match, a meeting of the minds is my biggest turn on. Not to be confused with emotions. If the man is sharp, witty, funny and enjoys solvency in the mental/intellectual/curious and playful realm I’m far less picky about physical looks. Brains do it for me over brawn, although it’s always nice to have the full package. :-)

Especially getting a little up there in age now, I don’t do curmudgeons, at all. Grumpy older dudes are such a turnoff, as are grumpy older anyones. lol
Take your “bah humbug” and hit the road Jack.

Depends on what the guy is looking for. If sex is very meaningful to him and he has found what he is looking for he will be a puppy dog. If moral tradition is what he seeks, he will look for a girl that won’t put out, and be her puppy dog.

@Shippy he will look for a girl that won’t put out

A man proactively searching for a woman that will not have sex? I can’t imagine this happens very often…