How would you have dealt with this situation (details inside)
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Jude (
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April 8th, 2012
My partner and I went for a drive along the “thumb” of Michigan, yesterday, selling her Mom’s “Ships of the Great Lakes Cookbook” to stores and restaurants. After a day of schlepping, we stopped at a restaurant for a pint. The restaurant was in a house from the 1890’s and it was beautiful/very romantic. Thirty minutes into our stay, a man sashayed into our room (there were only a few tables in that room), came over to us and said “I was told that there were two beautiful women at this table”, then proceeded to bend down and kiss my partner on the cheek and me on the lips. A few seconds of awkwardness, then I asked him if he was the owner and he said “yes!”. We chatted with him for a bit, he asked about our cookbook and he ended up calling other customers into the room and asked if they wanted to buy some, haha. My partner said, afterwards, that he had so much energy “he must have been taking coke!”, ahaha
It was pretty funny and we weren’t bothered by it. He was actually a cool guy.
How would you have reacted (if you were a woman)?
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19 Answers
I react very badly to unwanted touch. I think that to kiss a strange woman on the lips is sexual assault.
@marinelife He was very touchy/feeling with his customers. He hugged and kissed women on the cheek, and we shake hands with the men. I am pretty sure these were the regulars. We found it strange, though, as we were complete strangers to him.
A smack on his face and an unpaid tab would definetely been in order.
You can look, but you cannot touch. Without permission.
You were in Michigan, not Hollywood.
He sounds like a nice guy, not a perv. From everything you described, I probably would have handled the situation the same as you @Jude.
No. No. No. No.
I would have left immediately. What he did was so inappropriate. I don’t let people I know get that close to me.
Sure, I’d kiss him if he bought my books! In marketing class they said it was important to build relationships with your customers. Hell, I’d probably screw him if he bought enough books!
He sounds like me. lol
I love vivacious, witty, charming people with panache. I’d have been flattered and amused and played right into the encounter. I was waiting for chinese takeout the other night and there were 3 other customers waiting with me. A woman and two men. I announced as I sat down ” well, looks like a little party while we’re waiting.” The guy across from me immediately picked up on my energy and made a comment, of which I then extended my hand and said ” Hi, I’m..L….”
He played right into it perfectly taking my hand and saying ” Hi L. I’m Jeff.”
The girl next to me then introduced herself and we all started talking along with me going into a bit of my comedy routine that had everyone laughing except the stuffed shirt of guy number 3, who eventually opened up a little as we all carried on. haha
It was GREAT! I love people that are ALIVE and animated, and nothing makes my day more than encountering an alive, outgoing and playful person. :-)
Sounds like a friendly, nice guy. The fact that so many people think being friendly is being offensive is too bad IMO. I worked for a company where the manager did that sort of thing and nobody thought anything of it b ecause he was just being friendly. I couldn’t get away with it b ecause it wasn’t my personality to do so. It is too bad, like I said.
@Directmale Welcome to the pod. :-) Yep, I agree, too bad that friendly is so often rejected, pretty sad IMO. Jeez, if one can’t play, what’s the point of living? Be in your joy!
My private space is big, and I would have let the guy know to keep his distance. Not really a fan of strangers doing random things to me, even if their intent is nothing but good. Talking, making jokes, that’s all fine, but I don’t want people coming out of nowhere and kiss me.
I think it would depend on the vibes from him and in that particular situation. I can’t make a blanket statement about how I would react; sometimes I love spontaneous displays and sometimes they creep me out. As you describe it, it sounds like a fun experience.
I truly think that he was loaded (on wine).
If my partner and I didn’t have to drive home, we would have stayed for more drinks.
If he didn’t seem to have any intentions in mind, other than being friendly, it wouldn’t have bothered me. But if it was clear that he was wanting/expecting something else, I probably would have had to ask him to leave.
Not cool to put your lips on another person when you don’t know them and you haven’t been asked. FutureMemory would have found it pretty bizarre, really. Lol.
@FutureMemory That last sentence, you just made fun of Coloma my mom, didn’t you? :p
@Symbeline I have no idea what you’re talking about…and neither does FutureMemory :)
Sounds like he was a charismatic chap who obviously isn’t bothered by personal space. I actually find that quite refreshing to be honest. So many people nowadays are terrified to touch other people in case it offends them but it sounds like he enjoys human company and isn’t afraid to be physical and affectionate. Kisses on the cheek (even from strangers) don’t bother me at all. A kiss on the lips (from a stranger) may shock me initially but he sounds like the type of fella that would put me at ease pretty soon (as he obviously did for you) I wouldn’t have been bothered at all by this specific situation in fact, it sounded like quite an enjoyable experience for you.
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