Could one be buried in a position other than flat on one's back?

I can’t imagine why a funeral home would not be open to granting your last wishes, other than a case where your body would be on display. Imagine if your body, while lying on its side, suddenly rolled over during the viewing. Chaos would ensue.

If you are serious about this, talk to a local funeral home director to find out if it is feasible. If so, let your family know about your desire and put it in writing.

If you are willing to pay for it, you can be buried in any position you want to, as long as it conforms to the cemetary covenants and state laws.

Being buried on your side would be more expensive because it would be harder to dress you. Most bodies are buried without shoes on the feet. People are buried on their backs because when they cut the clothing to get your body dressed they don’t sew up the cuts they made in the back of the clothing.

It’s my understanding that people who are angry at the world insist on being buried in the prone position. ;-)

They used to bury executed prisoners, unrepentant and suicides face down in their coffins so they would see the devil coming to get them.

I believe this extended supine ritual comes from Christianity (I’m not 100% sure though). I am pretty positive you could be placed however you want. It varies with religion/culture. Some believe in burying the dead in a prone position (however, others feel this is disrespectful) ..some with their legs bent in the fetal position. I know warriors in ancient times were buried upright. The direction one’s body is placed can also be important.

If you are interested in a different type of burial than what is most common where you live, I would put it in your will.

I think @WestRiverrat is right. I imagine you can be buried any way you want to be buried as long as it is legal according to federal and local statutes, and you are willing to perhaps pay for a wider casket which you might need if you want to be buried lying on your side. It is not standard procedure in all cultures, throughout history, to bury people flat on their backs, but in the U.S. of A. you do generally have to be buried in a casket and they are generally designed for the “flat on the back” orientation of your “remains.”

I you can be buried sitting in a Cadillac (you can), then they will pose you however you wish. :)

Many early grave sites [pre-historic etc] show burial in a fetal position, which makes perfect sense: As you arrive, so shall you depart.

A side sleeping position, with pillows, might require a custom, deeper coffin and a little extra work with the clothes (a nightgown might be both easier and more appropriate), but probably, if carefully done, no more coffin width (although if the coffin is custom, what the hey—no prefab hermetically sealed zinc-lined metal coffin for you—a custom pine box by a cabinet-maker instead), no more depth room in the plot, even if you and your husband are buried as a stacked two-fer. It’s usually 3 feet for each coffin.

However this may present awkwardness at a viewing as well as requiring a coffin of different dimensions, possibly throwing into disarray also size of purchased plot and encroachment upon neighbors [can one sue the dead for encroachment?].

@Brian1946 sounds like an eternal “I Fart In Your Face” to the world.

I don’t think I’d want an open casket, so that part probably won’t be a problem.

I am sure you can be positioned any which way you want, as I know that Muslims are (can opt for being) buried sideways (on their right side), facing Mecca.
If I am not mistaken the grave plot has to be a bit wider than the usual graves, thus being a bit more costly.
Don’t go yet, we need to be modded for years to come ;-)

The only problem I could see is fitting in the coffin in the foetal position. They aren’t very wide (I don’t think). Not that I have examined many coffins! I think they are designed to lie flat out in though.

I agree with @rebbel… don’t go rushing off on us. :-) Always good to have an outfit picked out for these important occasions though.

This is so bazaar. Last night I was so uncomfortable because I cannot sleep on my left side due to my accident and I was desperate about it. My husband said, “when I bury you do you want to be on your left side?” He didn’t say it like I was dying tomorrow or anything. He continued, “I am going to be buried with my pillow, why not you on your side?” It sounded like a good idea to me so I said back, “can you make sure the pillow isn’t under my shoulders and is well placed behind my neck and head?”

Seems like you should be able to have what you want for your eternal sleep. About coffin size, there are large coffins, of course it probably costs a little more. I would not need one that was wider, but maybe one that is a little taller for my shoulders to fit? Not necessarily, I don’t know the standard dimensions. I think the larger coffins are larger in every way, so you probably don’t need a custom coffin. I saw on that Jamie Oliver Show about school lunches that the town he was in in W. VA a significant percentage of the people who died needed a larger than standard coffin. They interviewed a funeral home owner on the show.

I don’t wanna be buried alone. RIP forever in doggy style.

I wish to be packed in ice, naked, with my hands placed over my genitals…..well they shrink & everything.

I want to be cremated and I don’t dive a damn what they do with the ashes.

State laws govern the requirements for what constitutes an appropriate container if one is to be buried in the ground. This can include a concrete or steel vault into which a casket (or coffin) is placed. I mention this only because you cannot be buried seated in a Cadillac in EVERY state.

The current tradition of supine positioning (on back, face up) is really only relevant for a viewing. Inside most standard size caskets, there is a lot of padding that can be removed for burial and would allow for some amount of re-positioning (would be hard to draw the knees up if you were on your side). The funeral director would then add padding back in around the deceased to minimize movement inside the casket as the container itself is being moved in and out of the hearse and onto the bier, etc.

If you wish to be cremated, you can ask that they use an air tray (heavy duty cardboard box bottom with a piece of plywood in the bottom of that for support) and be positioned pretty much however you wish (you need to fit through the retort opening). Most states now have safety laws that prevent the attendant from climbing into the retort for any reason (one guy used to have to climb in to pull the deceased into the space and this was dangerous, hence the advent of using an air tray so two guys could push you in if you didn’t have a casket). Whatever positioning the attendants have to do must be done OUTSIDE the retort opening.

The goal of the funeral industry is to return you to natural and lifelike appearance. If lifelike appearance, for you, does not include supine positioning, most funeral homes will be only too happy to accommodate.

Why is it the business of the government to place limits on how I am buried? If I have the money and the grave space, what role does the government have to say Cadillac versus Yugo?

What is the old saying “bury me face down so that the whole world can kiss my ass”

Probably what @Brian1946 was referring to above.

In Jewish cemeteries if you stick to the very traditional ways, you must be buried in a linen shroud in a pine coffin.

We just buried my mother that way in a plain old hole in the ground.

@gailcalled Sorry to hear about your mom’s passing.

I don’t think we have any rules for what position the body must be in within the coffin. Do we?

@JLeslie: She died last May at over 96. She was ready. It was her time. But thanks.

It is a question I have never ever heard raised before. Do you know any rabbis or do you have the energy to do the research during your convalescence?

@gailcalled I’ll do some googling. I have a “cousin” who actually is in the funeral business. I am not in touch with her really, but my sister is. She would know for sure, she is observant, so she would know all the rules.

Good. This is an interesting issue; given the Jews’ ability to overthink everything, they probably do have some law about it.

Let us know.

Haha. Ok.

I would like to be burried in a ninja turtles outfit, and laying on my side. ‘kaythanksbye.

I’m pretty sure you can be buried however you want. It’s like weddings. People think there’s rules, but really, there isn’t. Most people just stick with the traditional ways and either don’t think to or don’t want to change them.

@gailcalled @JLeslie Your observations and additional questions are interesting to me having stumbled over a 1947 Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary when I was a kid (I still have it). The dictionary had an entire section on handling the remains of a Jewish person (body has to be carried out the door feet first, etc.). This site has great information (use the next button in the upper right corner to advance the information) but nothing on positioning. The site does point out that they don’t go into detail as the family is rarely involved in the Taharah process. This was kind of interesting . . . from a PBS special on the work of the Chevra Kadisha.

On the first site I included above, I missed this paragraph:

It is the custom of many to include in the casket earth from the Land of Israel and say: “He will atone for His land and His people / וכפר אדמתו עמו” (Deuteronomy 32:43). The deceased is then placed inside the casket face up, as one who is sleeping. The limbs of the deceased are straightened and the hands are opened* to symbolize that nobody can carry material possessions into the next world. The custom is, therefore, that no personal items are placed into the coffin.

@Kayak8 I wonder if my husband’s pillow is considered a material possesion? I also wonder if the ritual of no material posessions was to be in stark contrast to the Egyptians? Kind of like no tattoos after Hitler. Although I think no tattoos was a rule before Hitler for Jews anyway. But, it just reinforced a disgust for the idea.

@JLeslie First link also says: Shrouds have no pockets to carry man’s material possessions into the next world. Their simple uniformity symbolizes equality and purity. Wealthy or poor, all are equal before God. This practice was instituted about nineteen hundred years ago by Rabban Gamliel / רבן גמליאל, the head of the Sanhedrin / סנהדרין, so that the poor would not be shamed and the wealthy would not compete with each other in displaying the costliness of their burial clothes (Talmud, Tractates Moed Katan 27b, Ketubbot 8b). And tattooing prohibitions are from Leviticus per this Rabbi. Not sure about the pillow bit . . .

@Kayak8 I love that in death we should all be seen as equal in the eyes of God. I like a lot about how Jewish people do the whole death thing. I like that we leave rocks at the grave. I like that we are concerned with mourning and not vanity, that we are to return to the earth. Not that I follow all the rules of Judaism, I am not observant, but the basics, I like them. Oh, but throwing earth in the grave completely leaves me an emotional mess. Even if I am only witnessing it, freaks me out, so upsetting. But, I think it is a good ritual. Tearing the clothes, not sure about that one.

Thanks for the info.

The book that I have returned to over and over is
The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning by Rabbi Maurice Lamm. This was recommended to me by the psychiatrist that I was seeing in 1996.

It was filled with the Orthodox burial rituals and the mourning rituals and the explanations for them, both spiritual and psychological. I found great comfort in them and also in the schedule for when to stop drooping around and start functioning again without denying one’s grief.

@gailcalled @Kayak8 I wonder if all religions are so specific in their rituals? I would think so. I find the flowers odd when I go to funerals of other religions. I don’t know what I think of the fast burial in Judaism, I go back and forth on how I feel about it, especially when a relative might not be able to make it in time for the funeral. I do like the unveiling done after the fact. All very interesting. But, I feel like we have steered off from the original question, so maybe I will start a different Q about death rituals.

My mother died on the Sat. of this past Memorial day week-end. We couldn’t call anyone at the cemetery because it was the Jewish Sabbath and no one picked up the phone. The funeral director was able to finally get ahold of someone at the Temple who owned the section of the cemetery that we were using. There was a lot of secret phone numbers used and not available to us.

We were told that Sunday was out because the staff who did the labor and worked the equipment didn’t work on Sunday and then Monday was a holiday, and, of course, no one worked them

I guess that we really do the best we can now, no longer living in a little village with all our family.

So we buried my mother on Tues,, well past the 24 hour deadline.

@gailcalled I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I hope you and your family are doing ok.

It is fine, but thank you. She was well over 96 and more than ready, having had a good and very long life. She said she had no regrets but didn’t want a moment more.

@gailcalled At least she was ready!

@gailcalled Did it upset you that you had to wait because of “American” holidays?

@JLeslie It would have ticked me off, but I guess you have to understand that everyone needs time off. But I still think that someone should have been in on those days because it’s not like we can stop people from dying. It’s slightly ridiculous that she couldn’t be buried because of a holiday (that not all people celebrate, by the way).

@likipie Yeah, I think it is difficult because the Rabbi’s and funeral directors would get all the Jewish holidays off, but the people who work the grounds might go by the federal holiday calendar. Waiting another day or two would not bother me I don’t think, but I am not religious. I don’t know how I would really feel, I have not lost anyone very close to me. The closest was my grandma, but I had to fly in, and I think she was buried on the 3rd day after her death for some reason, can’t remember why? It gave me time to fly to NY. This is why I am on the fence about the rule, because now people live thousands of miles away, and having a little time to get there is more realistic. I feel like the burial is more for the mourners. I am an atheist, but I think if there is a God he would not take any delay out on the person who had died. Almost all the practices for Jewish mourning jas to do with the family coping who are left behind, so if coping better means a short delay so someone can attend the funeral, I think it makes sense.

@JLeslie: We (my sister, brother-in-law and I) were briefly frustrated. Then we got a grip; there was no way of overriding the Jewish Sabbath, the Christian Sabbath and the national holiday.

It turned out to be fine; family who had to fly across the country and/or return from holiday plans over the long week-end were relieved; and the day after Memorial Day was spectacularly beautiful.

At the graveside ceremony, we heard the tanager caroling in tandem with the Rabbi who spoke. My mother would have liked that.

@likipie: Remember that people also die unexpectedly when the ground is frozen too hard to dig a hole. People have a memorial service and then the interment when the weather permits.

I’m with @Ron_C I’m going to be cremated so I don’t think my remains will be capable of forming any position of any kind.

And, @elbanditoroso, why is it’s the government’s business to place limits on how you can be buried? Because government is an institution, a means by which larger, more complex societies create and maintain order. Personally, I don’t really want to live in a society where everyone is able to decide, individually, on a case by case basis, according to their own personal preferences, how to dispose of their dead. Gramma dies. She was a bitch maybe. It will cost you at least 1500 dollars to cremate her and probably close to 10,000 dollars to buy a plot, have her embalmed, buy a casket and provide a proper burial for her. So maybe you don’t have the money, or she was a bitch and you don’t want to put the money out. I really like that the government prevents you from simply dumping Gramma’s body in my back yard so she becomes my problem, or dumping her in the park or the river, or burying her wherever you might want to and thereby possibly contaminating the water table and my drinking supply. You don’t get to leave Gramma on your tree lawn for your trash service to pick up.

I like that the government has rules and laws about how and under what circumstances people can dispose of dead bodies. You should think about appreciating that too. They don’t really micromanage it. They just try to make sure there are certain minimal standards. All people were pointing out is that burials have to follow certain general rules and statutes. Personally, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

If @augustlan wants to be buried, lying on her side, I doubt there is a law prohibiting that. The government is not that intrusive but I think it is there business because I think it is my business and that’s what I ask of and pay my government to do. To maintain order. That’s really all the government does when it comes to regulations regarding the burial of bodies. They just try to make sure that bodies are properly “disposed” of. Really, nothing more than that.