How should I deal with this neighbor?

On your way home from work today, stop by your local police department and tell them this story. Ask them for advice.

First, I assume you are a female. Hard to determine from your question.

Second, you are going to have to give this person a fair warning to not come on your property again. Or, you could erect a security fence on his side of your property. Once you give the warning, write down the date and time you gave it. It will be needed later.

Third, if the fair warning and fence does not work, then call the police and make a report for trespassing and harrassment. This is your insurance policy.

Fourth, if this does not work and he again appears on your property, you will need to seek a Restraining Order to keep him away. You see a judge, tell him the problem and the clerks will help you with the order.

Fifth, once he has been served with the Restraining Order and still comes back on your property, you call the police and he is arrested for violating a court order. That is 10 days to serve, by law.

The above is normally used in extreme cases and yours appears to be heading in this direction. The police will check his criminal history and outstanding warrants, if any.

The action taken here is strictly up to you, once you weigh the benefits from your actions or non-benefit.

This person could be a threat to you.

It’s amazing but not surprising that the police asked why you couldn’t help him. A 300 pounder? I can imagine them asking with a smile on their faces, like it’s a joke.

Anyway, if I were you, I wouldn’t do the steps @john65pennington YET. I would just continue to avoid him, and be polite (“hello” and leave it at that) but not overly friendly. If he came over knocking, I would just open the door a crack and tell nicely that you can’t help him or can’t see him. If that were not enough, I would then call the police and do the steps @john65pennington is suggesting. The reason I say to not get punitive just yet is that to have to take the steps @john65pennington is suggesting makes him an adversary right away. He’s not your friend, but I think it might be beneficial if you could avoid having repeated court dates and strife. Once someone becomes an actual enemy, after the court dates and accusations, there’s no turning back and then he really could get nasty. And scary.

Just my thoughts.

You’re right to be concerned, and I commend you for wanting to avoid “the confrontational approach”. That’s wise for your own peace of mind, I think, and for attempting to contain what could be a volatile situation.

Aside from @tom_g‘s good advice, because even if the police aren’t “stupid”, they are obviously ignorant of the dynamic here, what do you think would happen if you talk to your neighbor himself (on a day when he appears to be sober and on his meds – if required) about what you’ve said above? It may be that he is literally unaware of what happens or what he does from time to time.

I also don’t like @john65pennington‘s advice if you’re attempting to keep this from being an adversarial / confrontational thing. You may have to go there one day, but I hate starting on that path.

Yeah, no. I have no intention of going down that path, which should have been evident by my question. I feel like he wants to be friends, but I just can’t deal with all his issues. If I am even a little nice he’ll be wanting to come over. He came one day with a pizza to give me. I told him that I felt uncomfortable around him and he went away, but…
It’s like a multiple personality thing. I never know who he’s going to be. People who don’t stay on their psych meds regimen, or drink alcohol are just more potential problems than I want.
At least three times now he’s begun conversation with me that I don’t want to have and then said something dismissive and walked off in the middle of it… like I was supposed to run after him and argue.
I don’t want him that comfortable and thinking we’re in that kind of a relationship. We’re not. And the 911 guy could have no idea about the dynamic, I think he was just a jerk. Like I was bothering them. But it was really cold out that day, he had no jacket on, only managed two wobbly pedals before he fell and from my angle I couldn’t see why he didn’t get back up.
Whatever. I did my duty as a concerned citizen, but that did not include endangering myself.
Thx guys.

Hm… You live in Florida by any chance? I know just what you could do.

@Trillian: Please post an update from time to time, if you wish, to let us know how it goes.

JCA
The Update Lady

Heh, copy. Hopefully there will be nothing to report!

Wow, this guy sounds like a mess…well, if you avoid him, you might be in his crosshairs, so to speak. But obviously, if you don’t avoid him, it’s just as bad, as you’ve experienced. I’d say ignore him, but let him know you want nothing more to do with him. Be firm about it. Certainly do not indulge him. This isn’t gonna help.
Nobody can help you at this point, since he hasn’t done anything illegal, which makes it the scary part in a way, seeing what you’re describing here…if he has wrath to unleash and absolutely will if you ignore him, it’s hard to say what to do about it without actually knowing this guy… Do you live with anyone? Does your area have that neighborhood watch thing? If you do, talk to them about this.

You must be firm and direct. If the person is truly desperate and seeking attention, sometimes saying nothing just leaves the situation open to their imagination. Be bold and straight forward. If this doesn’t work, hit him in the head with a crowbar or a shovel.

Try putting the ‘blame’ on yourself, and give him the old “It’s not you, it’s me” song and dance. Talk to him (outside, where people can see you) and tell him that you’ve got a lot on your plate, and just don’t have the emotional energy to develop any more friendships. That you need and value your alone time, but wish him well.

Thaks all. I feel better for just having finally said something about it.
@Symbeline Since my cat died just over two years ago, I live alone. Maybe I’ve just seen too many movies. I’ll try to stop hearing that “ch-ch-ch-ch-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh” in my head late at night….