(nsfw) If your relationship became "unromantic" but better in other respects would you leave well enough alone?

Add another partner to the relationship and then have them alternate weeks when the sex is good.

I don’t understand how it’s either/or in your hypothetical. But good sex is not worth drama and fighting. I’d much rather have a rich, fulfilling relationship than a merely sexual one. Of course, I’d rather have both. If those are my only option, I’d probably look for someone else.

Good question.

For some unkown reason, some couples have a compatibility problem after having sex. I have answered police calls, where this situation has occurred. Most of the complainants would tell me that for a short period of time, they would lose respect for each other after sex.. Then, after a short period of time, they would begin to gain back the love and respect for each other. This was not a common situation, but it does happen and you are not alone.

To me, it’s something you two have to talk over. It’s a not a deadly occurence, but if you love each other and can live with this scenario, then just leave it alone.

You know its going to happen each time, so be prepared for it.

Long ago, I decided my life was about personal growth. I don’t see how I could grow or reach my personal goals in an unkind, hostile environment.

Sex should accompany a great relationship, IMO. It wouldn’t work for me the other way around.

I would not be able to leave things along if this was supposed to be my primary romantic relationship. I could get all the benefits you talk about in the second example without having to be in relationship through friendship.

No. The difference for me between great friendships (which also have thoughtfulness, love, respect, trust, cuddling, etc) and dating someone is the sex.

I’m having this very problem now and I’m sticking it out. Haha, no pun intended.

Correction: alone (not along).

I have been in this situation before and chose to stay. While good sex is important, being able to get along with the person is even moreso. A thoughtful, respectful partner is not easy to find, and should not be given up quickly IMO.

A crappy relationship with good sex has never gotten far enough with me to morph into anything. Usually, a crappy relationship kills any sexual attraction, quickly too.

Yes. I would still remain married and not file for divorce.

This isn’t love ‘em or leave ‘em problem. What I actually asked was whether you would try to fix the sex life. That could mean counseling, open marriage, bribery…

@6rant6 Um, you said “leave well enough alone”, and then “leave it alone, and give up sex”. The way I interpreted that was, any attempt to change things (open relationship, counseling, break-ups, etc) would not be considered “leaving it alone” but rather “doing something about it”.

@Aethelflaed That is correct. The point I was trying to make is that the alternatives I offered did not include leaving the relationship, just accepting the change or trying to fix the one thing that was problematic. I assume that anyone in a loving relationship would try to work through problems before giving up. Although I recognize there is a bias on Fluther toward answering any relationship question, “Leave the loser’s sorry ass!”

Hmmmm well when you figure how much time even the most sexually active couples are actually engaged in having sex compared to how much time you spend together otherwise engaged and if it is a one or the other situation, then I would opt for contentment without sex and have a good supply of batteries.