How would you complete the following police psychological questions?

Wow. That’s sort of a scary test.

1. Kiss my toe.
2. Mother Teresa
3. Green is good.
4. It’s time to go.
5. I am Dutchess
6. I handcuffed the SOB.
7. I will eat waffles
8. It’s time to go camping.
9. Advise him of the speed limit.
10.If she bites you go see a vet.

I think I know what the answers were “supposed” to be and I had to consciously think of something different. It’s almost a knee jerk reaction to answer them that way.

So what kinds of answers would suggest psychological problems vs. someone who was raised in America?

I have a pretty strong suspicion that that “exam” has no scientific value. It’s too overtly leading.

1. Kiss my mother
2. Mother kisser
3. Green is the color when the spring is born
4. It’s time to dance
5. I am the walrus
6. I handcuffed the Pretty girl to the railroad tracks
7. I will survive
8. It’s time to party
9. Advise him of impending cake.
10.If she bites you, tickle her fanny.

4 and 8 are the same… It’s a trap!

1. Kiss my_Mother_______
2. Mother__Mary_______
3. Green is__great______
4. It’s time to____go____
5. I am___(my name here)______
6. I handcuffed the___perp_____
7. I will____be prepared_______
8. It’s time to____go________
9. Advise him of___his rights_________
10.If she bites you____cuff her____

1. Kiss my puppy dog.
2. Mother, bring me some toast!
3. Green is money and I want to bathe in it.
4. It’s time to spark a J. It’s 4:20 somewhere in the world…
5. I am what I yam and that’s all that I yams. (Popeye!)
6. I handcuffed the donkey to the handle of the refrigerator.
7. I will or I won’t.
8. It’s time to Heh heh. I see what you did there.
9. Advise him of all the wonderful new flavors of yoghurt. Pomegranate! Blood orange! Mango!
10. If she bites you bite her back!

Where do I pick up my badge and gun? ;-p

1. Kiss my ass.
2. Mother may I?
3. Green is a combination of blue and yellow
4. It’s time to party!
5. I am waiting.
6. I handcuffed the suspect
7. I will survive
8. It’s time to repeat myself.
9. Advise him of his rights
10.If she bites you, it’s a sign she likes you.

1. Kiss my anus
2. Mother of God
3. Green is shit
4. It is time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I am all out of gum.
5. I am fear incarnate.
6. I handcuffed the bitch
7. I will fucking murder you.
8. It is time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I am all out of gum.
9. Advise him of his right to lick my balls.
10.If she bites you, kill her.

So John…what would some answers be that could be considered a flag?

1. Kiss my ass
2. Mother fucker.
3. Green is gold
4. It’s time to play what’s my line
5. I am the walrus
6. I handcuffed the perp
7. I will follow
8. It’s time to check for redundant questions
9. Advise him of his rights
10.If she bites you let her go

@Dutchess_III I bet @ragingloli can answer that for you.

1. Kiss my grits.
2. Mother May I?
3. Green is my thumb.
4. It’s time to stop being mean!
5. I am the Walrus… koo koo ka choo!
6. I handcuffed the bad guy.
7. I will and then again I won’t.
8. It’s time to answer this again.
9. Advise him of his rights.
10.If she bites you, bite her back.

Okay, so these were the absolute first words that popped into my head:
ass
fucker
gold <—what the flip @filmfann, you too?
party
titanium <—stupid, modern pop, catchy music
prisoner
die
die
you
die

I have this thing about death, clearly…

1. Kiss my crocodile.
2. Mother Mayhem
3. Green as my spleen.
5. I am yo mama!
6. I handcuffed the body to yo mama!
7. I will eat yo’ childwin!
8. It’s time to say badbye.
9. Advise him of his right to roll a doobie.
10. If she bites you, then she must be Mike Tython.

1. Kiss my_girlfriend_
2. Mother_’s house_
3. Green is_a color_
4. It’s time to_go_
5. I am_a man_
6. I handcuffed the_perpetrator_
7. I will_go to the store_
8. It’s time to_go again_
9. Advise him of_his rights_
10.If she bites you_tie her up in your pleasure cave_

1. Kiss my_ass_______
2. Mother____Nature_____
3. Green is__good______
4. It’s time to_go_______
5. I am__healthy_______
6. I handcuffed the____prisoner____
7. I will___definitely________
8. It’s time to___go again_________
9. Advise him of___his rights_________
10.If she bites you___run_____

Question: are you ready to take the exam?

1. Kiss my ass
2. Mother maybe_________
3. Green is jello
4. It’s time to rumba
5. I am multitudes
6. I handcuffed the giant squid
7. I will be vine
8. It’s time to smoke the bananas
9. Advise him of his bites
10.If she bites you she dies

These are just a select few of the questions asked to police officers.

1. Kiss my hand.
2. Mother Teresa.
3. Green is good.
4. It’s time to go.
5. I am ready.
6. I handcuffed the bastard.
7. I will try.
8. It’s time to start.
9. Advise him of his rights.
10.If she bites you, bite back.

These were the first things that came to mind, except in one case, where I went with the second.

So what does it all mean, John?

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard do you have a pleasure cave?

1. Kiss my____ring____
2. Mother____issues_____
3. Green is___good_____
4. It’s time to__work______
5. I am_____great____
6. I handcuffed the__perp______
7. I will___finish it________
8. It’s time to___go home_________
9. Advise him of____his rights________
10.If she bites you__wait______

1. ass
2. f^cker
3. Good
4. Party
5. Free
6. Tree
7. sing
8.Party again
9. His rights
10. Shoot her
Am I hired?????

Kiss my lips.
Mother Theresa.
Green is a nice color.
It’s time to eat.
I am ready.
I handcuffed the dog.
I will do it right now.
It’s time to go home.
Advise him of the law.
If she bites you, get help.

@john65pennington , You realize you DO have to come back and let us know who would be accepted or rejected based on our answers.

1. grits
2. may i
3. beans
4. go
5. the man
6. tuberculosis
7. win
8. go
9. this
10. bleed

Without reading anyone else’s…

1. Kiss my hairy arse.
2. Mother tell your children not to walk my way… (Listening to Danzig now, by the way.)
3. Green is the colour of grass.
4. It’s time to eat. I’m starved.
5. I am in pain. Damned carpal tunnel.
6. I handcuffed the bitch to the bed…
7. I will soak this hand in epsom salts in a minute.
8. It’s time to … didn’t we do this already?
9. Advise him of his rights.
10.If she bites you, bite back.

1. Kiss my derriere
2. Mother of divine jaysus in the heaven above
3. Green is a lush colour
4. It’s time to embrace the light
5. I am. I am. I am.
6. I handcuffed the bastard to the bed, nabbed his wallet and high-tailed it out of there_
7. I will emerge from this fiery hell one day
8. It’s time to get down
9. Advise him of my ravenous appetite
10.If she bites you devour her

Ass
Fucker
Good
Party
Tired
Victim (that is totally wrong!!! Damn my mind sucks!!)
Eat
Party
His rights
Taze her (Hahahahhaa)

1. Kiss my buttocks.
2. Mother Earth.
3. Green is good.
4. It’s time to go.
5. I am Sparta.
6. I handcuffed the chair.
7. I will try.
8. It’s time to fly.
9. Advise him of his rights.
10.If she bites you bleed.

I hate it when John never comes back to answer our questions!!

1. Kiss my face
2. Mother nature
3. Green is good
4. It’s time to go
5. I am awesome
6. I handcuffed the b*tch
7. I will survive
8. It’s time to go (again)....<——why is this here twice?
9. Advise him of his rights
10.If she bites you bite her back

@ john65pennington why would psychological questions be so pointed so as to generate questionable responses? Clearly a police officer would have to really THINK about what to write for each question – otherwise their answers could quantify them as having psychological problems in dealing with the public. Granted, many police officers DO have problems in dealing with the public, but I do not think that putting them on the defensive with questions such as these is the correct thing to do. A lot of problems are generated by the police training methods such as screaming at the suspects to get down on the ground (called ‘taking control of the situation’), & then threatening the suspects, & shooting to kill instead of to wound (& I do understand that sometimes shots are fired in fear) – however, all of the yelling & screaming did not use to be the proscribed method for ‘taking control of the situation’ & it rarely works to anyone’s real advantage…. not the public’s advantage & not the policeman’s advantage. What it does seem to do is to feed the ego trips that some police officers seem to be on & to get the adrenalin pumping in both the suspects & the police officers. It would seem that there are better ways to deal with the public that the police are supposed to protect & defend.

One of the many reasons I will never be a police officer
1. Kiss my ass
2. Mother fucker
3. Green is for go
4. It’s time to go
5. I am Legion!
6. I handcuffed myself to the steering wheel of my patrol car. Can one of you guys get out here and get me loose?
7. I will not back down
8. It’s time to go, really, I already told you that
9. Advise him of his rights
10.If she bites you don’t go out with her again. She’s trouble.

:-)

@FluffyChicken, yeah, in my basement.

1. Kiss my________ASS
2. Mother_________FUCKER
3. Green is________GO
4. It’s time to________PARTY
5. I am_________IN CHARGE
6. I handcuffed the________THE BITCH
7. I will___________NOT
8. It’s time to____________PARTY AGAIN
9. Advise him of____________THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE TOILET
10.If she bites you________BITE HER BACK

would get you thrown off the force?

Kiss my ass.
Mother Fucker.
Green is my favorite color.
It’s time to sleep.
I am augustlan.
I handcuffed that asshat for you.
I will have a drink, thank you.
It’s time to wake up.
Advise him of the fact that he is an asshat.
If she bites you, marry her.

1. Kiss my arse.
2. Mother fucker.
3. Green is grass
4. It’s time to party.
5. I am okay.
6. I handcuffed the dog.
7. I will win.
8. It’s time to party again.
9. Advise him of his rights.
10.If she bites you bite her back.

Do we get to hear what this means :D

I didn’t read anyone else’s responses until I finished mine. I think @anarist and I are non-identical twins.

1. Kiss my ass
2. Mother Earth
3. Green is the colour of envy
4. It’s time to run.
5. I am who I am.
6. I handcuffed the… (NSFW)
7. I will graduate.
8. It’s time to fly. (since this is a repeat, this is my second answer)
9. Advise him of his rights.
10.If she bites you, seek medical attention.

Hm, I think these answers make me sound kinda boring. I wish my instincts were wittier.

1: Dick, kiss my mother fucking dick
2: Russia
3: The colour of Shrek’s genitals
4: Make love
5: The one & only, nobody i’d rather be.
6: Pussy cat to the radiator
7: Always worship titties
8: Repeat #4….which is nice
9: His right to wear flares, while at the same time reminding him he looks like a prick
10: She can expect to be bitten back

You’re hired @ucme!

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard (innocently) may I see?

@iphigeneia I don’t know… don’t be so hard on yourself. I think answering “It’s time to run” and “I am who I am” on a fill in the blank police questionnaire such as this one, supposedly designed to gauge someone’s psychological fitness for the job, might very well raise a few eyebrows. Not really so boring, I don’t think. :-)

@lillycoyote would it be better to avoid the god-thing and say
I yam whut I yam . . .
sailors make good cops.

@anartist

Absolutely. Yes, you are obviously aware of that great 20th century philosopher and sailor man Popeye, who said, of course:

I yam what I yam and that’s all I yam

Basically my philosophy of life; words to live by if there were ever words to to live by.

1. Kiss my patootie
2. Mother India
3. Green is the first word in “Green grow the grasses, O”
4. It’s time to run for office
5. I am not being deliberately obtuse
6. I handcuffed the perv to a park bench
7. I will prevail
8. It’s time to come to the aid of the party
9. Advise him of his right to use the restroom
10.If she bites you let her go