You know you're out in the country when _______.?

Before I read your details, I thought, “Cows.” I can’t really tell if I’d like country life. I’m a city girl. I always thought I would not like to live where I couldn’t walk to the library. And I never have.

You can stargaze without having to leave your house. =)

An opossum waddles by your basement sliding glass doors and Milo doesn’t even blink.

@jonsblond I get amazing stars. The nearest lights are 1500 feet away. It’s complete darkness. Wow.

@gailcalled I heard a noise on the porch a little while ago. It was an opossum rummaging through my recycling bin.

@Adirondackwannabe We have many large windows in our living room and I can sit on the couch and stargaze from inside. I love it! I’ll never forget the moment I was sitting in the living room last year during the Perseids. I was spending time on Fluther and happened to look up towards the window and noticed a meteor. I’ll take that view over a neighbor’s driveway any day.

@jonsblond And you’re out where you can see a long ways. That must be nice. We have lots of hills and I love that. I would never want to look out and see another house.

You know you’re out in the country when…... you step in cow shit.

You know you are out in the country when the crazy young nurse in town slaps the cashier at Casey’s because she wasn’t pleased with how her pizza turned out. Then every cop in the area speeds past your house to the Casey’s because the police have an alert in their system to send backup whenever this person causes trouble.

This happened two weeks ago where I live. I kid you not.

But for the sound of the occasional “moo”, I’d never know I was in the country. Whose freaking cow is that? That’s what I’d like to know. I never see the damn thing.
But if I turn right out of my house, I have a nice, seven mile drive up a very country road with no shoulder. Does that count?
I watch the red-tailed hawks ride the thermals every day, and every so often I come upon a very large vulture.
And at some point during the year, wild turkeys are everywhere, and of course deer all year long.
I guess I do live in the country.

…you have a real purty mouth.

@SmashTheState That was about the furthest thing from my mind, but nothing says country like a little sqealing.

Heh! Love it! :-D

Over here it is a hard RULE, be very quiet in the early morning or..the Breman town musicians go off in perfect harmony. The roosters on the hill set off the geese who set off the sheep which set off the donkeys and mules and next thing you know there’s a donkey in your cup. lol
Jackass cruise lines sound the fog horn at dawn.

No cars go by on the road for at least 15 minutes in the middle of the night.

@jca If I notice 4 or 5 cars a night it’s a busy night.

Where there are more cows than people per capita in the town you live in…..

When you are afraid to go out in the dawn because you know a bear goes strolling by your backdoor at dawn

When you see clogging! Or maybe you’re in Newport. Either way, it’s all good. (Notice that is Tao Seeger playing accompaniment, Pete’s grandson)

Check this out! Mountain talk

You know you’re in the country when your driving through the dark, dark, dark and you haven’t seen a single sign of civilization for the past half hour, your AT&T 3G connection suddenly goes dead and you were really counting on the GPS app on your iPad to help you find your friend’s house, where you’ve never been before, because she doesn’t live in the middle of nowhere, she lives where the Middle of Nowhere goes to get away from it all and find some wide open spaces.

I’m a city girl all the way. Concrete, pollution and death, fuck yeah. The country is nice though, and very relaxing…probably because I’ve never had to make a living in it. But it’s awesome how many stars you can actually see in the country at night, as opposed to the city. I’m certainly not adverse to it.
I confuse myself because I’m not a people person at all, yet I love big cities because of all the people and diversity. I’m afraid I’d get bored shortly in the country, because while it has cool people, it doesn’t have funky gas stations and seedy bars at every corner. Damn, I miss living in a big city…although Montréal is 45 minutes away, I live in a small town in the mountains, and it’s pretty, but nothing ever happens. :/ Not even that many stars either, OR strip club signs immortally shining through downtown. which I can walk through in under ten minutes

You know you’re in the country when medical attention might be needed after getting stung by a wasp.

You know you’re in the country when pit bulls run away from badgers.

You know you’re in the country when food actually tastes good.

You know you’re in the country, when you were about to make a joke about propane tanks, and end up going on Wiki to find out the exact name for those permanently mounted propane tanks shaped like blimps.

You know you’re in the country when you locate an emu burger processing place.

…when you can breath easily and clearly.

I love the country. I belong there. We live on the very outskirts of our city. You can walk out onto the street…look down it and see fields and farms (sometimes horses at the fence by the road). I love that we live so far out of the hustle of the city (however, the scent of eau de cow manure can be nasty at times). My hope is to move further out west to the mountains some day.

You know you’re way out in the country when you have to use a leaf as toilet paper too.

…the people all have 2 or more heads due to rampant incest.
...some people are human-sheep hybrids to to rampant human-animal sodomy.
...you see bulletholes in every traffic sign

When you wake up at night and think, ‘what’s that noise? Oh, that’s silence.

(I) know (I’m) in the country…
when I’m desperately trying to get back to the city.

I can only take the country in very small doses – like a long weekend. It’s relaxing and pretty and all, but after two or three days, I’m good until the next year.

When I’m on the deck and I hear horses whinnying.

My husband got lost in West Virginia looking for a shortcut to a job site on his day off. He tells the story of how after driving for for a couple of hours and getting completely turned around, he stopped at a little store that had a pot-bellied stove and old men in overalls spitting tobacco off the front porch of the falling down structure. He asked how to get back to the main road. After a minute of silence, the woman who worked there looked at him and said, “What do you mean? You’re on the hardtop.”

Now that is my kind of country.

You stop seeing street lights or hit gravel roads.

@Symbeline I’ve had an emu burger. It was excellent.

When one sister got married, they bought an old farm house out in the country. The first improvement made was to build an outhouse. Apparently, the old woman who had owned it would just go outside and squat. An indoor toilet was eventually installed in a cubbyhole under the stairs, but we were cautioned not to flush unless necessary. The water supply came from a cistern reliant on rainwater. Water from the well came from a hand pump located outside. It was used for cooking and drinking.

The sole heat source is a wood-burning stove in the living room. Air conditioning comes in the form of several large oak trees that shade parts of the house. There are enough windows that a cross-breeze can sometimes be captured.

They also built a gravel driveway. It’s close to a mile long and goes down a hill and up another. When it snows, vehicles are parked at the end of the drive near the main road. It’s too risky to attempt to navigate it when it’s slippery.

When I see mobile home/trailer park communities. Or horses.

I love the rolling hills, old red barns, rusty tractors and the sound of crickets in the pitch black night.

When the coyotes set up to howling and sound like they’re surrounding you.

When you hear turkeys gobble.

When you see fields on fire and nobody much caring ‘cause they were set on fire on purpose.

When you see burn piles smoldering. (Ours burned for a week. In fact, it rained like hell one day, all day and all night. The next day we went out, and the sucker was still smoldering!)

My students are all inner city guys. Most of them have never really been out of the city…except on a prison bus. Most of them have never sat around a camp fire. :O.
I send pictures of our land and our pond to my work computer and show them to them.
I have a picture of my son, Chris, barefooted, with a fish net in hand prowling around the shallow water at the edge of the pond, hunting frogs. my guys are looking at this picture when one of them whispers “He’s barefoot!”
General murmurs of astonishment all around.
“Hey! Aren’t there snakes out there, Ms. V?”
“Of course!”
“He crazy!”
“You just let him run around there barefooted??”
“Yessss.”
“No way man! Not me! Where’s my gun??!!”
I said….“You guys are wimps!!!”
I may be one of the few people in the world who can get away with calling a bunch of gang bangers wimps. : )

I also showed them the picture of the burn pile ^^^ and told one of them that was a campfire. LOLL!! You should have heard them when I told them what it really was. They couldn’t believe that we could set a huge pile of trees on fire and just walk away. Well, sort of. You wait until the initial flames die down before you walk away.

@Dutchess_III: Forget the snakes; what about ticks? (A charming picture, BTW).

O man, @gailcalled…they are horrible this year. We need to spray, but don’t have the stuff big enough to do 5 acres. We can’t even take our poor dogs out again until we do. They aren’t always as bad as this year. Must be perfect conditions for them. I’ve found a couple on me, but the dogs…oh. Bad.

When you need a tractor to mow your lawn. (We just bought both at auction. Pictures to follow. I know. You can’t wait. :)

The smell of cow shit becomes increasingly unbearable.

You phone for a pizza and it takes three hours to arrive.

Pizza delivery? I lived so far out in the boondocks, I had to drive to meet the pizza delivery person. Honest.

Cow poop isn’t bad @ucme. Or horse poop. It’s warm and earthy. Pig styes on the other hand…OMG. Get me out of the state.

I find pig manure to be some of the smelliest faeces ever. I think the cow manure tends to stink around here because we only smell it when the air is thick and moist (almost like it’s old and rotten by then).

If you think about what cows and horses eat compared to what pigs eat, that would make it different for sure!

When you honest to goodness think a tractor’s sexy!

^^^. “Come live with me and be my love” and grade my driveway, brush hog my fields and rebuild my dry/retaining wall. I will pay extra for the sexy driver, please tell him.

LOLLLL!!! I’ll tell him!!

when you have to go out side to go poop.