Morning after question: Do you ever wake up the day after a big Fluther argument/debate/conversation, and wonder "WTF?" because it all feels so surreal to you?

I feel like that’s happened in the past but I have purposefully detached myself from taking Fluther too to heart so it doesn’t happen anymore. As I learn more and more about people’s attitudes about sexuality and gender norms, I am less and less bothered by their opinions, less surprised at ignorance, etc. I know the q you’re talking about, I just saw it was deleted, there were a lot of strong feelings but people being quite categorical. When people are categorical and start saying something like ‘you should NEVER do this or SAY this,’ then, I feel, there is no room for discussing that which obviously takes place in society and to ignore it or to make blanket statements might be helping some people but it surely isn’t helping, in general. I feel more surreal when a person something says something about a topic that isn’t what I’ve already heard 12x that day.

Oh sure. But I know we do this for entertainment and that people like to get their blood boiling. I also have a hope that seeing things from different perspectives might get people to consider other things just a little. Actually, I think that, over time, new ideas do work their way through the population. It doesn’t happen overnight though. Nor does it happen in one question. But if you persist, then over a year or two, you might start seeing people making arguments you made two years before.

But I still get backaches whenever I go up against people who all disagree with what I am saying. I have to make myself stick to my opinions, sometimes, especially when people get personal and tell me I’m unfit to be a parent. I can understand how they might say that, and I don’t think they are right, and I don’t believe most people would think that, but it’s not easy to hear, and it is almost impossible to not lash out and hit back.

I don’t get into many heated debates or arguements but in my early days I was involved in a very heated discussion with someone that I have always (still do) really respected on here. I think, in the end, we were able to agree to disagree and continue to get on well on other threads and PM’s but whilst that discussion was going on it did play heavily on my mind. I still stick to my arguement (although I probably would word it better nowadays) but I was glad when the discussion came to an end.

When I get into a discussion with someone on a thread it’s not so much the other person’s opinions and comments that worry me, it’s the feeling of being “ganged up” on by other people coming into the discussion. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have never felt bullied here or anything quite that dramatic but there have been times when I have felt quite strongly about something but have been to worried to speak up because I know my opinion would not be popular here. I usually find away of presenting my opinion without completely owning it to sound people out first!

Yes. But although it seems surreal, I’m still sick to my stomach, so I know it actually happened. =0)

Oh @WillWorkForChocolate. I’m sorry. You’re sick to your stomach. My back is all tense.

Such internalization doesn’t feel good. I try to relax, but it’s hard knowing that people really disagree with something I strongly believe. I am trying to just let it be. I don’t have to be right. I don’t have to feel like I’m being beaten up.

For you, I want you to know that I don’t disagree with you and think malicious thoughts about you. I do like you. I find it almost amusing that we seem to butt heads so much. I don’t want your stomach to feel bad. I doubt if that will help next time we disagree, but it’s true. [Just running through all the issues we’ve fought about so far—yep. There’ll be a next time. Oh well.] But I do respect you and like you even if I think some of your ideas or preferences are… well… you know.

But I will tell you this. If you were on one of those dunking machines, I’d be buying all the baseballs I needed until I could get you upended in the water! ;-) And my throwing shoulder might need surgery, lol

Yes, we disagree often, and we’ll disagree again. But let’s not rehash last night’s disgust-fest, as I really am still sick to my stomach, and a few disturbing opinions on that thread almost made me abandon my account. Thanks.

@jca I apologize for derailing the conversation. Have some chocolate as a token of my esteem.

Nah. I throw my opinion out there and expect that there are many which oppose it. Strangers on the internet have no effect on my real life.

Morning after question: Do you ever wake up the day after a big Fluther argument/debate/conversation, and wonder “WTF?”
Nah. I tend to think What the hell.? All I want ta do is to mess around, and I don’t really care about: If you love me, if you hate me… blah blah blah.

I was obviously oblivious to something bad going down on Fluther last night!

Nah.

” Strangers on the internet have no effect on my real life.”

For me, too, really. They’re some (well, one) whom I can’t stomach most of the time, but, guess what? I click onto a different question/move on.

:)

Kind of. Because the internet isn’t real life, you’re not experiencing the same things physically as you would being in the presence of another person whilst having the conversation.

Sometimes strangers on the internet have an effect on me, at least until I don’t regard them as strangers.

Never! I parrot @Jude Strangers on the internet have no effect on my well being.

I sometimes wake up thinking about something I should have said, or a new thought regarding a discussion, or even sometimes wanting to smooth things over with a jelly that I might have had a heated discussion with. But, feel sick about it, or really dwell on what happened? Nah. I kind of feel like fluther is for discussion, sometimes it goes bazaarily off into a surreal place, but hey, on to the next question.

Wondering WTF I missed last night ;)

Sometimes I think of ways I’d have rather worded something after the 10 min edit button is done. Other than that, from volitile threads, I have learned what jellies I’d prefer to avoid in the future.

I wake up and wonder what I missed. I love a good fight.

I used to get pissed at a few people here, but I’ve learned not to let those I don’t care about affect me in any way.

I don’t let myself get too worked up over Fluther-stuff any more, although there was one thread recently where I felt unfairly attacked, and although I kept my cool on the site, it riled me up. Generally though, I save my emotions for the very real issues and problems I am having.

Let me think….nope!!
When an argument forms I pay it no more attention than I do a passing fart.

Holy crap. What did I miss?

I enjoy working on my debating skills; I am less happy when people start making ad hominem arguments or juvenile name-calling out of frustration or inability to reason.

I disappear then.

Sometimes I’ll go back to a thread that I last posted in while sleep-deprived and think, “Gracious me, my ability to write while half-asleep has not improved!”

Very rarely, but it happens. Sometimes, a question will eat at me for days.

It does seem surreal sometimes. I realize that it is the Internet and we really don’t know who we are having discussions with, but sometimes things are said that involve other innocent people or children and it makes me think are they experiencing some form of harm and abuse. That is when it is hard to get it out of my head.

Ok, I glanced at the question and realize that I probably would have inhabited that middle ground that so annoys the piss out of many people – myself included – most of the time. I didn’t see the photo in the fluther question, but I believe I may have seen the photo on Reddit. Maybe. Anyway, what I didn’t see was a man skinning a person alive. I also didn’t see parenting that resonates with me.

Infuriating comment warning: I’m not sure I see what all the fuss was about. Nor do I see how one could be moved to defend the actions of the parent as ideal. Parenting has yet to be perfected by any single individual or couple, as far as I can tell. This photo definitely doesn’t break that trend.

No, lol. It’s not that serious.

Answering the question in the title, that is what I think while reading the thread the first time!

Occasionally, I look back at my own posts and can’t believe that I said what I did. Sometimes I’m sleep deprived, one time it was wisdom teeth removal, sometimes my writing it filled with typos.

Nah.

I think after I read someone say “What’s wrong with jacking off a dog?”, I had all the shock shocked out of me. That was truly the most insane comment I’ve ever come across on Fluther.

@FutureMemory Yeah, hide the pets the dog jerkerer cometh.

or the dog cometh.

Someone find me a bucket to vomit into.

Dare I suggest the abused dawg was a cock – er spaniel?

@FutureMemory Why – been eating leftover meatballs again?

I just remembered there was one jelly who really stirred me up a few times. The annoyance I felt stayed with me longer than it should. I kind of had it out with the jelly at one point sort of, but admittedly it was not really about the main thing that bothers me about them, still, now they don’t affect me anymore, because in the end I realized in real life I would never tolerate the personality of that jelly. I would dismiss them in my mind as ridiculous, and unable to handle certain ideas or situations. With those people, if I have to deal with them in real life I either begin to treat them as they treat me, or significantly limit my interaction with them, generally only talk to them when I agree with them.

I missed the discussion in question but in general I find it really upsetting to fight heatedly about anything. I don’t bother to engage with people unless it is really something I feel passionately about. If that’s the case why would it matter if I know the person in real life or not? I don’t understand why that would make a bit of difference.

When someone holds an opinion or espouses some idea that is anathema to me it’s upsetting just to think that the world is full of people who might think like they do. I like to live and let live, and I like to be non-judgmental and open-minded. It bothers me when people take a strong stance and don’t back down from it and have to be right. If they are so closed to other views then why bother having a discussion at all? Why not just be happy in your own little world and not care about what others think?

It mostly matters when they can somehow effect your life directly as in politics and public guardianship and law making. These are the people we need to care about. And it doesn’t matter whether I know them personally or not. They can effect the world and so they can effect me. I can shrug it off and say I don’t care, but isn’t that being a little dishonest with myself? I don’t sweat the small stuff because there is too much big stuff to worry about. It’s a waste of time to get worked up over small stuff. And on the stuff that doesn’t matter then I feel everyone has a right to their opinion even if I don’t agree with them so why fight about it?

Never felt surreal or WTF. More like crap, why did I let my temper loose. I have a few hot button issues that set me off. This hit one of those.

@Adirondackwannabe: Are opossums and ticks on your hot-button issue list also?

@gailcalled Not yet but we haven’t gotten into Summer yet. It might change. :)

What’a summer got to do with it? I have a resident opossum who is digging up (nightly) my newly planted pansies because he seems to love the organic compost. He also wanders nightly around a graveled area next to some sliding doors.. Milo is so inured that he no longer even stirs.

And I am seeing many of them as road kill.

Ticks never rest here and don’t mind the cold or ice.

In a word, never