People who have been here for awhile, why do you stay?

I’ve been here for 2+ years. I don’t know if that counts for awhile or not. I, too, have noticed people leaving.

I stay, because I like it here. I genuinely like asking and answering questions. I like the moderation since it seems to keep the trolls away, which were a real problem at the other Q&A sites I was a member of.

For me, I used to like to participate in discussions and enjoyed the friendly interactions here. Now, I find that I come here when I have a question/need help with something. That’s about it.

I left for a while. Coming back I am much picker about the questions I answer. I am still here to often for a healthy person. I think that at some point people just realize that the obcessions is sucking away at their real world relationships and have to make a clean break in order to successfully bring balance back to their personal life.

I just celebrated my 1 year Fluther-day last week. I love it here, even on bad days.

Like @Hawaii_Jake said, I genuinely enjoy the questions and answers, enjoy the sense of community and this is the most intelligent place I’ve found on the web to have a conversations. I cherish my friends here and this has been the place where I could retain my sanity through several situations.

I miss many jellies and wish that they’d stay. I get sad when I learn that individual conflicts are the reason people leave— I wish they’d know there are many others who care about them too and cherish their contributions? But, I’m not in their shoes so I can’t say one way or another what’s right for anyone—I just enjoy the community when I can get online.

I did leave for a short time because of my own perspective and emotions were overloaded by issues related to my divorce/separation—but came back.

I’ve been here a year and a half and I really like the community here. Most of all, it’s fun.

Yep, 2 years for me last month in March and man..I never thought I’d get caught up in an online community but here I am. Fluther is fun, educational, social and just a great place to hang out when not busy with real life. Speaking of which, OMG..I gotta get my groove on, my ‘to do’ list is calling. haha Bonus…I forget to eat when I’m fluthering so it’s a great diet aide too. lol

This coming May 11th, I will have been here 4 years.

I visit almost every day. I answer waaay more than I ask. Once, I took a three-month break. I’ve never changed my avatar, name or opened an alias account.

I am the cookie. I lure you fellow jellies from whom I’ve learned so much.

Where else would I go?

Well, at least in the present moment if I disappear you’ll know I’m either gravely sick or dead.
There is no way I’ll ever leave over a spat with a fellow jellie, I’ll leave because life beckons me in a new direction or I’m dead. lol

I just looked at my profile. I guess August will be 4 years. Time flys when you’re having fun!

I have been here since 2008. I left for a while a couple of times. I stay because I have made real friends here, and I like answering questions.

It’s interesting. I like to help people. I’m part of the community. Believe it or not, there are even one or two people who like me. That’s not something that happens every day in my life.

” even one or two people who like me”

Really? ;)

I just looked at my profile and like @Judi August will be 4 years for me, also.
I have made friends here that I enjoy seeing. I think it was @Whatthefluther that compared it to being at the Cheers bar. You want to go where everyone knows your name.

I miss some of the fine folks who have left for whatever reasons, but they must feel it is their time to move on. I may feel that way someday, but for now, I want to stay, read questions, answer them the best that I can, or just expand my own knowledge by reading the answers here.

Habit.

I like you @wundayatta , most of the time. haha

I go through peaks and valleys in my activity here. There have been pleanty of times over the years that I’ve thought about leaving. How Fluther is now is so very different than how it was back when I joined. I honestly feel the quality has dropped a lot over time. But the thing that always keeps me coming back is the people I’ve met and the friends I’ve made over the years.

sEE @Jude. There’s one. So my statement is true. Phew! There may even be one other. I think I know of one, but you don’t have to count that as evidence, since I am likely delusional. But hopefully @Coloma‘s statement will make me seem a little less delusional.

@wundayatta I lurve you, too! That’s two!

Inertia.

@syz : Yeah, I bet when you work around big animals, you learn how to be really still.

It’s the big, quirky family I never had.

So @Jude, you see? I wasn’t exaggerating! ;-)

The user @Jude has left the building. :(

I just passed my third anniversary (unnoticed). I have cut way down on the number of answers I give, but I still love reading the questions and answers. It’s sort of like an Ann Lander’s replacement for me.

Go check out some other forums and come back to tell us what you found.

I’ve never thought about leaving. I enjoy it here, simple as that. I don’t take it too seriously either. I get the impression that some of the people who have left in the past year took this place far more seriously than just a Q&A site!

I wonder what happened? Why did she leave?

I stay because it’s fun. I bitch about fluther every now and then, as do a lot of people, but I keep coming back because it’s fun answering questions and there are people I like here. Also, I’m a mod. I’m both super lazy and bogged down with school, which makes me probably the least efficient or useful mod, but I still feel like I should zap trolls and spammers when I see them, which also keeps me coming back- a sense of duty, I guess.

One thing I’ve noticed about fluther, too, is that the drama comes in cycles. There will be times where people get in nasty arguments and act like douches and much wailing and gnashing of teeth results and feelings get hurt and people leave, but then everyone is like “hey let’s be nice again” and there’s a lot of lurve and hugs and kisses and kumbayah and some of the people who left come back until the pendulum swings the other way again. In the end, it’s just the internet, and it’s silly to get so butthurt about it.

So yeah, that’s why I stick around.

Free entertainment.

I’ve been here on and off for a while, and was on AnswerBag for years before that. I’ve never actually left Fluther, but the economy has been particularly hard in Kolinahr-land. I get on when I can.

Why? Because we’re a community. Like any family, there are people you get along with all the time, and others who you bicker with constantly. But, when you need a shoulder or a pick-me-up, those same bickerers will be the first ones with a kind word and a long-distance hug.

For someone with very few “real-world” family ties, a group of real-life Fluther friends is an honour to have in my life.

what the heck happened to @Jude?!?!

I don’t know for sure why Jude left, but she’s left a number of times before, just feeling like it was time to move on. She usually comes back, but you never know.

I stay for the people, the learning, the teaching. And, you know, the job. ;)

Aaahh fergetit. I just saw her post under her other account.

nevermind

Jude’s alias here. I’m moving on, kids. I get too caught up with stuff here and I’m awfully sensitive and let stuff chap my ass sometimes. Not good for the head. This site is like a drug. I left a few times, but came back. (Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in..). I need to focus on other things. When I need help with something, I’ll pop in as Mama and ask a question. Cheers!

I agree with @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard regarding how Fluther seems to go in cycles. I have made some good friends on here, but many of them are rushing for the door lately and I go back and forth about it myself. For me, there will be a sudden influx of clunks (I don’t want to offend by using a word with offensive power) and we all put up with it until they either get a sense of the site and adapt or choose to move on. Lately, the clunks don’t seem to be doing either and the quality of both questions and answers seems to suffer.

While we can joke about the repetitive questions (e.g., interpret my dream for me; what should I name my child; what is this rash; if a boy looks at me, does it mean he likes me—I am only in 6th grade [really, I couldn’t have guessed]), after a while even the joke grows stale. Maybe the guidelines could be expanded to include examples of the questions we have all heard a million times (and they are no more interesting the millionth time than they were the first time). Recommendations could be made to take those questions to other sites.

I am really starting to conclude that the universe is cracked and I get that from FB posts as well as Fluther. I think people are reaching a breaking point with all the craziness going on in the world around us and some people use places like Fluther for their anonymous breakdowns. I am working on just ignoring the craziness but it sure didn’t work when I was a kid and my brother annoyed the crap out of me, so I think I am in for a personal growth spurt if I stick around . . .

Jude—glad we are connected in other realms so I don’t have to miss you here!

The problem is it’s actually not that easy to come up with unique, interesting questions that can provoke a discussion that also haven’t been asked before.

I wish you and yours well, @Mama_Cakes (Jude). I’ll miss your questions here on a regular basis. Wishing you much happiness in the real world.

@Keep_on_running I think you are on to something. It is rather difficult to maintain a level of interesting questions. Some of the most interesting, to me anyway, often go no place because folks aren’t familiar enough with the subject to get into the level of detail that makes it interesting. Maybe I will post (ask questions) on things I know about to read the answers rather than asking questions about things I want to know about . . . hmmm need to think about that . . .

I keep coming back because I would lose it if I had to work the whole time I’m at work.

And I get some good advice.

Sometimes things get shitty here; eventually they get less shitty. Just like the rest of life.

Because I have not been banned yet.

I bitch about Fluther too sometimes, but I guess if I really didn’t like it, I’d be gone. I stay cuz it’s fun, I have friends, and learning is pretty cool. But it does get depressing when seeing times like this, where several good people go one after the other. But people do what they gotta do. I wish you well Jude, and Kate as well.
I’ll also pester yall on FaceBook don’t y’know

It’s only been a year and a half for me. I like that Fluther gets me thinking of things other than my own problems. It’s a respite from my real life. There are people here that I’ve grown fond of. I think of leaving and maybe, in time, I will. If I do, I’ll let you know why.

Because it’s still the best Q+A site by far, despite allllllllll the people that have left over the last 6–12 months. Come on people, even if Fluther isn’t quite as good in your eyes as it may have been a year ago, it’s still way better than the alternatives. Go over to AB for a week, then come back and tell us how shitty Fluther is. Ain’t gonna happen.

I for one am tired of the bitching.

Go over to AB for a week, then come back and tell us how shitty Fluther is. Ain’t gonna happen.

I did that. Tried AB again. You’re right, just ain’t happenin. I’d much rather hang around here.

@sym, you can pester me anytime. :)

Yo Bendrew, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish but Yahoo Answers is one of the best Q&A sites of all time. One of the best Q&A sites of all time!

@Michael_Huntington I tried that place too. Some guy said he was gonna rape me in my mouth with a car muffler.

@Symbeline Wow. A car muffler? Apparently he already has his inadequacy issues under control.

I love it here!!! The Mods keep me on my toes. HAW HAW! :)

I have been here since 2008 too. Life gets crazy and I do not log on as much. Sometimes I do not find much that interests me. However some awesome people are here and I really respect their opinions. I made some fantastic friends along the jelly-journey.

I’m still not sure. When I first joined, in Dec. 2006, I was new to Q & A and social sites. As I became more comfortable, I discovered that I was able to put together quickly a few sentences that made sense and were moderately readable.

Then, when it became apparent that Milo was going to serve as my alter ego, I began to have a really good time. So did he. Now I think sometimes that he may pull the strings in our relationship.

And finally, my age and experience often mesh with the questions and interests of many other jellies.

I’ve been here for almost a year. I stayed because I like you guys. You make me laugh, and I love the conversations on Fluther. I love how we can be completely serious, or completely hilarious. I like that the other jellies are smarter than I am, so I always learn something new.

I stay because I like many of the people who post here.

I like answering questions and reading people’s responses to questions.

I am a moderator and like being part of the community.

People come and people go, that is their business. I make my own choices about whether I contribute or not and other people’s decisions do not affect my choices. I am sad to see some people leave but they are adults and are quite within their rights to remove themselves from the community. Other people will come along to take their place I imagine and I am sure I will learn to like many of them too.

I have been here since March 2008. When I first started I was working a job every afternoon 7 days a week. Some days I would be busy but a lot of days I was bored and Fluther made the time go quickly. Now I just stop in because I like it. I agree with @Keep_on_running it is not easy to come up with great questions all the time. And my problem is that I always think of fantastic ones while I am out and about and then by the time I am back in front of the lappy, I can’t remember what they were!

I always think I spend a fair bit of time here but I can’t keep up with the in crowd. I didn’t know that Jude and MamaCakes were the same person. I thought you weren’t allowed to have 2 accounts? And I hear people talk about so and so left and I never even noticed they were gone! I must be a little bit oblivious. So please, if anyone has plans to leave, pm me first so I know what the others are talking about. thank you

and @wundayatta, I like you too. I think that means you are up to 4!

I found Fluther by accident about 18 months ago and I just stayed. The people here are intelligent, tolerant and more amusing than the average person in real life. I like the variety of viewpoints and backgrounds and the stimulation of the questions.

I think Fluther is occasionally very useful, and most of the time it is interesting. It’s a great place to discover new media.

I have been here since 2009, and being wildpotato on Fluther is part of my identity now. I wouldn’t want to give it up. I took a yearlong break and have only recently begun to make an effort to come back, partly as an attempt to become less depressed and reclusive by getting in the habit of talking to people more, and speaking my mind again.

Also, I find the community aspect intriguing. I think it’s odd I would trust so many of you “Internet strangers”. When I pose myself a question like if I were stranded in Philly or LA or the Berkshires and some car pulled up and a strange woman offered to drive me to the train station, and if I somehow knew that this person was casheroo or tinyfaery or gailcalled (for example – there are def more of you), would I get in her car?, my answer is absolutely yes. And I think that’s kind of cool.

It’s kind of like going to the mall and eavesdropping on people’s conversations, except I occasionally chime in. Also, habit.
3 years for me

Thank you, @rooeytoo. I’m glad my perceptions aren’t totally off the wall. Fluther is wonderful in that it allows me to find people who like me. Even more than two!!!!! If feel very, very blessed!

Jeez. For that kind of love, I might even be persuaded to donate actual money.

I also stay for the cheesecake. And to hear @JohnPowell rant. But mostly for the cheesecake.

Cheesecake? You dirty rat! You’ve been holding out on me, @Dog!

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake perchance?!

I can’t find the exit.

@cprevite Of course! Is there any other kind? ~

@Dog: True dat Dog.
Finally an opportunity to say that!

@flutherother: It’s right next to the frizzer.

@cprevite Ah! that’s why I can’t find it.

as soon as andrew and ben tell me where my kids are, i am out of here.

^
That’s probably not even a joke, either.

I’ve been here for about a year and a half. I was away for about 5 months or so (medical stuff). I am still here because of most of the reasons listed already. The people, the fun and the intellect. I don’t know people here that well (personally) but most are kind and intelligent ..and many have made me “lol” for real (that’s worth a lot to me). I want to learn more about many of the people here and, at some point, have the opportunity and privilege to call them my friends.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few people that I just wanted violently shake until their eyeballs fell out their bum. But, for the most part, people are generally pretty cool here.

I don’t know ..it’s kind of like a big comfy chair. Usually nice and fitting (almost too comfortable sometimes) ..however, it can get rank after sitting in it too long. I think everyone needs a break now and then.

Have I thought of leaving? There have a been a couple times. More because of my own issues with not being able to get my point across properly. Using the wrong terminology and messing up the point all together. I get embarrassed when I screw up like that. It makes it even harder to try to fix it (to try to explain what I originally meant). I get so flustered, especially when people simply close the book on me and won’t listen or believe me when I tell them that that wasn’t really what I meant. Yadda yadda yadda…

I figure I’ll be here for a long while though, once I set my mind to… Ooo cheesecake!

Oh, and for the record, I like you too @wundayatta :)

@Plucky I believe the proper term, for Flutherers, is lol4rl.

It seems we have lost another…
A conservative veteran captain.

Has JillTheTooth left too?

@Leanne1986 Yes.

@chyna :(

What the hell? :(

I keep trying to get her back.

I know my attendance has been sporadic lately at best… but would someone mind catching me up on who is gone? A PM would be great, if there’s someone who’s been keeping track.

Does anyone know why some people who have been here for a very long time suddenly find themselves unable able to take it any more? It’s not as if things have changed, is it? It’s more like their tolerance for… whatever… suddenly disappears? Or do they feel picked on in the time just before they leave?

@wundayatta No idea. You’d have to ask them. :/

@wundayatta I wonder the same thing, myself. I completely understand when someone just feels it’s time to move on, but I never quite get the “That’s it! I’m outta’ here” thing.

They just took their marbles and went back home. Haha…marbles. Maybe they get fed-up with no one taking their opinions seriously, or they’re pouting, or the just need a little attention so they can tell us all off.

I think it’s lame, even for the people I know and love.

It will be 5 years for me in the summer. I am happy to be part of a diverse community that provides me with a good forum to bounce ideas and opinions off of, and a place that provides advice when I ask for it.

That said, I didn’t know Jill the Tooth left.

I’m very sad to hear that Jill has left. :(

She actually left first. Has been gone for a little while, now.

I left as Jude because like I said, certain people who I would see posting daily irritated me. Why stay around and be miserable. It was no fun for me, anymore. Not attention seeking. I really don’t give a fuck. :)

” It’s more like their tolerance for… whatever… suddenly disappears?”

You got it.

^^ But you’re here now, in a fairly public alias. Isn’t it kinda the same thing?

I popped in to check on my one school related question in General. Other than that, I haven’t logged in since last week.

I was just responding to a few posts here (one of which was directed at me :)).

That makes no sense to me @Mama_Cakes. You are still here and presumably still irritated.

In general what annoys me when people leave is when they make a big hoo ha about leaving Fluther on other sites. I just don’t get that. All seems a lot like attention seeking. If people want to leave, no problem. Just leave peacefully without bagging those who choose to remain or the site itself. Many of those who have left were here for a long time. I don’t think Fluther has suddenly changed so dramatically.

” Many of those who have left were here for a long time.”

I’ve been here since 2008.

Anyhow, not worth my time anymore.

” I don’t think Fluther has suddenly changed so dramatically.”

But, it has. For those who have left, that was one of the reasons why..

@Bellatrix What other sites? I’d love to re-connect with Evelyn’s_pet_zebra and a few others.

@Mama_Cakes It has? I dunno, it seems about the same now I’m back as when I left a year ago. New faces, same mix of gold and bs.

@Mama_Cakes: Aaahh, well okay. That makes perfect sen… waitaminute – no it doesn’t.

Oh well, doesn’t matter. I’m just happy your still here in some incarnation.

<—- golden bs

Oh yeah what happened to Evelyn’s Pet Zebra?

When did jonsblond leave?

She left, too? I thought she was just here the other day. Man am I out of the loop!

When did @wundayatta leave?

Can’t say I miss him. Such a bloviator. No. Not an aviator, a bloviator. Yeah. You don’t need a hat.

When I did leave a while back, I was pretty sure no one would notice. But I couldn’t help showing up in a new identity to see. I mean, I wanted people to care. But my frame of mind was such that I don’t think I could have figured out if someone cared if they took a sledgehammer to my head to prove it. Ok. Not the best metaphor.

I don’t think I would leave unless I lost my mental bearing again. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why a lot of people leave. We seem to be a haven for people with mental issues. Perhaps people make changes when they are emotionally off kilter and liable to think and say things that magnify their normal reactions tenfold. Once you put your pride on the line, it’s hard to swallow it and come back.

I think some people get bored, which is perfectly natural after you’ve done anything for a considerable amount of time, and where in that state of boredom they’re much more likely to allow something minor to push them out, so to speak. If you’re already not feeling as connected as you once did, your tolerance for things that annoy you is much less.

I can’t find the way out.

I can understand people leaving because the site doesn’t interest them anymore or because they are busy with life stuff but I do find it really strange when people leave because “they can’t take it anymore”. It seems quite dramatic that a site would affect people in that way. I get irritated sometimes on here but when I find that a thread is annoying me I just stop reading it. Also, why “officially” leave and announce it to everyone? Why not (very much like @Mama_Cakes) simply stop visiting as often as you used to but leave the door open just incase you do want to drop by?

@Leanne1986 There have been times when I was pretty emotional about fluther. Mostly angry with being treated unfairly. I think there’s something about being treated unfairly that can make people much more angry than other forms of treatment might make you. When you’re angry, you can find it easier to burn bridges. Just to show people.

Sure, you can treat me that way, I might think, but then you won’t have me around any more. It’s on you.

It’s probably not the most mature kind of thinking, but I think anger can make you think that way. I know it made me think that way. I think I’ve seen it in others, too.

I think that this is a fairly tolerant place, and if people do want to come back when they cool down, they usually will find they are welcome. Maybe over time, we’ll all start taking less humbrage. Sure, I get all heated about issues like spanking and conservatism, but I can still respect people who hold those unconscionable views. I don’t know how I do it, but I do. Maybe it’s just more important to respect people than to try to save the world. I don’t know.

Like I said before – I think of Fluther as a family. Sure, we hate each other sometimes, mostly about opinions that frankly, we’ll likely never change about each other (doesn’t mean we’re going to stop trying) but we all agree on the important thing – when someone’s hurt, we try to help, and when someone’s happy, we celebrate with them.

Some family members are a little more sensitive to the opinion-crossing. They come and go. Hopefully more stay than leave.

I wouldn’t change a thing about Fluther. It’s the best online community I’ve ever been a member of.

Well, to be honest, I might like a few more people to fight with from time to time.

Great post, @Seek_Kolinahr

@Seek_Kolinahr hear hear!

@Seek_Kolinahr Star Trek sucks. Bring it on. Tee hee.

@Seek_Kolinahr I agree.

I hope that no one takes this personally, but it occurred to me recently that a lot of people seem to leave because they can’t tolerate people disagreeing with them. Some of these were people I really liked and often enough did agree with, myself. But they seemed to get SO ANGRY that someone was wrong on the internet that they had to just leave.

@nikipedia: Amen sister.

Nods @nikipedia. Yes.

@nikipedia That is so sad but I agree with you, it seems that way in many cases.

Because I’m a ghost, and that’s what ghosts do. They linger around.

And you do it so sweetly. Aww gimme a cuddle @Some_Ghost! Always love it when you show up. Have you been scaring people away? Was it you up to your tricks?

Oh I’m not responsible for that, although I do enjoy making people jump and scream every now and then. It works, too.
I would certainly give you a cuddle, but I’ll just end up floating through you…ah well. Ghost cuddle! Woooooosh…

Ohhh shiver… I felt a strange tickle…. like someone walked over my grave…

[If you see me post anything for the next hour or two… you have permission to haunt me. To work, to work!!]

It’s funny, isn’t it? I mean, ghosts are often portrayed as flying blankets. Should we not be all warm and toasty when we go through a living being?

Oh, a permission, is it? I like that. I will certainly make good use of it. Halloween has come early!

@Some_Ghost I lurve you too!! Where have you been lurking lately! Glad to see you again! :D :D :D

Oh you know, just floating around, being all specter like and all. And now I’m busy being honored by the enjoyment of my presence. :)

Because I can talk to you all about things that no one else is interested in.

@Dutchess_III Like what, the secret police? Lol.

I always come to Fluther immediately after visiting a porn site. It’s the best site to be intellectually stimulated after that other kind of stimulation. Fluthering is akin to cigarette smoking right after that sweaty act. Heh heh.

Hmm, so far I don’t remember doing it in reverse. Jumping to a porn site during or after Fluthering. All I can say is, wheeeeen?!

@mazingerz88 You must have missed this, then (NSFW).

Yeah @mazingerz88! The secret police and fried chicken!

@Dutchess_III – I love that ^. It does seem as if there is always at least a couple jellies who are interested no regardless of what the subject matter might be!

Yes. : )

@Dutchess_III Oh boy, can’t believe you just posted that. Secret police and fried chicken. What, as in fried chicken with its seven secret spices-?

I guess there are orphan questions.

But could you ask a question about a generic subject that no one would be interested in?

I also lie in wait for the occasional donnybrook that is so rich in innuendo, name-calling, enraged bad writing, illogical raucousness and descent into playground behavior that it makes hanging around here a real treat.

What she ^^ said.

Have I just missed every bad moment on Fluther? I’ve seriously never seen anything get-pissed-and-leave worthy on here.

@Blackberry here ya go Apparently this question made someone leave.

The question didn’t make that person leave. The personal reaction to it did @chyna.

I’ve been here 3½ years. I take breaks, but have never deleted my account. That’s an action I just don’t get. I may just stop in and hand out lurve or read threads or look for an answer without actually making my presence known.

All things in moderation.

@Blackberry Well, if you’re on the outside of the conversation it’s hard to see the nuances.

@chyna :O I bypassed that question. The Captian will come back, won’t he??

@Dutchess_III I don’t know why he really left so I don’t know if he will come back.

Someone may be back under a new name.

Indeed @Wundy. You just never knwo who is who.

Because this place is too damned addictive, and there are some honest to goodness amazing people here.

@WillWorkForChocolate yay!

I lurve you, you silly penguin.

I knew it felt better in here.

Awwwww. Group hug! ((((xxxx)))))

Speaking of long lost Jellies, what happened to Sueanne Tremendous? She used to be a regular, now no more.

After nearly 5 years of sporadic involvement in the collective, I come back to see if I’ll finally get my guacamole.

@hearkat No guac, no mo’ – the office is closed and the Founders have left the building….