What is wrong with a man who does this? Is it as obnoxious as I think it is?

Should not this be a negotiation between the TV viewer and the song whisperer? Who knows how else they are getting on each other’s nerves?

Or you could fight fire with fire. Get a microphone and a set of speakers, crank the amplification up to 11 (courtesy of Spinal Tap) and really belt something out.

Sounds like he just doesn’t want to be around you….sorry. Yes, it’s really obnoxious, but here’s a song to make you feel better

Sounds like he’s annoyed by you.

Is this your hubby?

husband.

We use headphones in my house to avoid problems like that. We try to respect each other’s ability to hear what they need to hear or want to hear. But then, we have many rooms where we can go to avoid annoying each other.

I’d pull his plug. Nothing worse than a TV aholic…egads….pop a cap in his ass. lolol

@Coloma, he IS a tv aholic, yes, but there are much worse things like being violent, unfaithful, drinking . I don’t think you really meant that. He can’t do his hobbies anymore so I think he’s depressed and I know he’s bored.

@Aster I was kidding, kinda…I didn’t mean to sound mean. :-)

@Aster: You have just answered your question about “What is wrong with a man who does this?”

He is depressed, unable to do his hobbies, which of course will lead to boredom and watching TV, the course of least resistance.

Deal with his depression; the rest are symptoms.

Is he generally passive aggressive? That can be a sign of depression.

I would prefer someone tell me to be quiet like that than SHH! SHH! SHH! I find that far more annoying. Or maybe I should just shut my big, fat mouth in the first place. Ahhh life…

@Keep_on_running his exact words: “I can’t hear the tv. I’ll have to crank it up.” It was and is too loud already and I know I was very, very quiet.

I guess he’s not passive/aggressive or I would know it by now. He and I are easy going types, actually. He might be nervous about his upcoming eye surgery but he’d never admit it .

I find that a rude, inconsiderate comment and I’d tell him so.
I don’t think he has any rite to take any of his feelings out on you, no matter the circumstances.
But… given the circumstances I would soften my tone. Regardless, he needs know you were hurt by his comment. I believe little things such as this will often fester into larger things and infect a relationship.

I think it’s rude and I would have made a sarcastic comment about him getting a hearing test because the TV was already too loud.

Would it be practical to put another TV in a different room?

What I said in reply was: “you could barely hear me and the tv is too loud already.” Maybe I was too nice?

@Aster Personally, I don’t think you were being too nice. I believe that if things are out of sorts right now, you should be nice to each other. And considerate. His comment was inconsiderate and I think he needs to know that. What he chooses to do about is up to him.

Does your hubby have a hearing problem? Not defending him, but before my hearing aids, I really had to stay focused, when trying to hear the television, radio or someone else talking. The least little interference and my focus was gone.

I wear two hearing aids and I now do not have this problem.

It might be a hearing loss for him and his words and actions may not be directly aimed at you, but at his inability to hear normally.

It might be worth checking out for the sake of both of you. It worked for me in a similar situation.

Yes; he does have a hearing problem , John. He is still in the denial stage and won’t get his hearing tested.

You’re drip-feeding us information. He’s depressed, he’s going deaf (but not too deaf to hear you singing quietly?)...

So, here’s my take on the situation. He’s got a bit of a short fuse at the moment for various reasons, and with someone singing quietly, but next to him on the sofa or certainly close enough to hear, he can’t hear the TV. It was rude of him to say what he did, but I think it might have been slightly insensitive of you to be cheerfully singing while he’s depressed and watching the box. Who sings on a whim while others are watching TV? Annoying people, that’s who. Especially to someone overly sensitive due to their circumstances.

Side-not: going deaf often makes differentiating sounds difficult. Therefore, despite the TV being cranked to 11, if someone is generating noise elsewhere, it can often become a big old mess of sound. I used to be able to listen to people in a noisy pub. Now I really struggle.

Conclusion: you were both rude and you need to cuddle more!

Ask him to get his hearing tested if he hasn’t done it already. There is mention on this website of various hearing aids for different types of hearing situations including “TV listening systems” that can be used with and without hearing aids. It seems strange to think that a little soft singing would interfere with his ability to hear but it could be possible. Those with hearing loss often have difficulty distinguishing sounds from background noise. I guess you have to be patient and encouraging with him since he’s going through a difficult time. It sounds like you want to be supportive. Hopefully, when he sees that you care, you understand his anxiety and you want to help, he will be able to feel loved, grateful, and be big enough to apologize for snapping at you. We all have our days, right?

Aster, this is his problem and not you. I did the exact same thing, before I had my first hearing test. I was ill that I knew I was losing my hearing and I was ill with myself that I was getting older and not will to face reality.

Make an appointment to have his hearing tested. I finally did and I was totally surprised at what I had been missing out on in my life. It greatly improved the relationship between my wife and I and now she can hummmmmmm all she wants to and it does not have any effect on me.

P.S…....sometimes, when my wife talks too much, I just turn off my aids and keep a smile on my face. It works wonders!!

I usually say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you, I’ll just go somewhere else.”

I think it sounds like he’s in the habit of listening to the TV at ear splitting levels, probably depressed, nasty and taking you for granted with his rudeness. I used to have a boyfriend like that, and it was hard to tolerate (the TV volume and his nastyiness). Easier for me to stay in the other room, which made me realize the relationshiop wasn’t that thrilling and it was time to make some decisions.

Get him a man cave in the garage with a damn TV.

serenity now

There may be much more that goes into this but I would not like the abrupt rudeness of the comment and action.
It is not as if TV is going to change a persons life or anything.
I think there is a mixup or priorities going on here.
Sorry to hear this.