What would you do if you find that suddenly you are not attracted to your significant other anymore?

If you can’t accept them for who they are and the changes that everyone goes through in life you break up or divorce. What you don’t do is beat the psychic crap out of them to change or cheat on them. It’s not about them, it’s about you.

After a person ages, their physical attraction does not mean as much as in did in earlier years. A good example are wrinkles in both their faces.

All of this can be accepted, just as long as what is in their heart, never changes.

If it’s fixable, talk to him/her; if it’s not, open up the relationship; if that’s not an option, leave.

@Coloma Agreed!!!

Apparently, you leave.

@jehnstewart Things change and there is no shame in that. Few relationships are meant to last forever. Just be in your integrity and be kind, that’s all you ever “owe” another. :-)

This has never happened to me. I think if it did, it would be an indication that my feelings for her weren’t as deep as I thought they were. Something as trivial as weight gain shouldn’t matter if I truly loved her.

An ex-girlfriend gained a good 40–50 pounds, and I didn’t even notice. My grandmother of all people pointed it out to me when she asked my girlfriend “so, how much weight have you gained?”

This happened to me as well. It was to the point where I couldn’t even get aroused to please her. She became very frustrated, so I broke it off. It hurt really bad, but I couldn’t get back to the same feelings I had so I had to do the right thing.

I think it depends on your situation. I think having kids makes a huge difference. I think a willingness to work on things makes a big difference. The presence of a lover makes a big difference. Also having various assets, businesses and social capital as a couple changes the equation significantly.

My priorities would be to do what’s best for the kids, first. That could mean trying to work things out, but it could also mean separating.

I don’t know what the priorities are after that. It’s really too complicated to know. It just depends on the circumstances.

I’d talk about it, stay in the relationship if we both wanted to, satisfy him sexually as much as I could stand, and be ok with both of us pursuing sexual satisfaction in other ways (including being with other people) if either of us wanted.

Edit – actually, the first thing I’d do is get some acid or some E and see if that does the trick.

@janbb selfish jerks leave. I happen to think you’re beautiful just the way you are.

I’d tell them and hope that some beneficial comes from talking about it. I actually did tell him, and he looks better than ever. Can’t wait to see how exercising more changes him a year from now =)

I’d immediately seek the attendance of a good optician.

My SO isn’t physically sexually attractive to me any more, and hasn’t been for a decade or so. But that matters not one little bit. After 24 years, our love doesn’t depend on physical appearance. I don’t even see any need to mention it to him because then he’ll worry and think I’m intending to leave him, which I’m not.

I really don’t know what I would do as I have never been in that situation before. I really love my boyfriend’s personality and character and I can honestly say that my attraction to that has always been stronger than my attraction to his looks (that came after getting to know him) so if it was just his physical appearance that changed I would hope that I would be able to see past that. If I fell out of love with him and didn’t see a future for us anymore then I would be honest and end the relationship. It wouldn’t be easy because he has been an enormous part of my life for so long but I don’t believe in staying in a situation that you are no longer happy in especially if you have tried to make it work but it has just come to the end of it’s time.

I certainly wouldn’t just give up on a relationship though. If I felt there was still the tiniest of spark left I would try to work through the problems. I think he would have to change quite drastically for me to not want him in my life at all.

I’ve been married for 18 years. We’ve both gone through periods where we were not attracted to one another. We worked at it and eventually came back to being attracted. We’ve always talked and listened to one another.