So in one episode of Xena Warrior Princess, Gabrielle became the princess of the Amazons, and was given a special staff to commemorate the event, and because it is their way. It’s this big fancy staff with carvings and everything. It’s obviously important, and not anyone gets to even fuckin see it. But she got it…then you never see that staff again. Never. It’s just gone.
What the hell, did Gabrielle just go, yeah man, you know what? I don’t need this damn thing. ’‘hucks it in a ditch’’
The nerd part of me isn’t finding loopholes though…but basically just assuming that Argo (Xena’s horse who, while she has her own little important bits in some of the episodes, basically serves as an ambulant suitcase for the heroines) has the staff nicely packed and kept safe, for every single episode after Gabrielle received it. I mean, it is a ceremonial staff. It’s not like she’s supposed to use it in battle.
Also, while I love The Simpsons and Matt Groening…he failed me once. There was a Simpsons episode where Xena Lucy Lawless made an appearance. She was at this comic convention, answering a bunch of questions. They were all nerd questions, basically about such loopholes as I’ve explained. To every question, she answered, if it doesn’t make any sense, then it means a wizard did it.
Bull.
BULL, I TELL YOU!!
While in the world of Xena, magic and the supernatural certainly do exist, (shit, it’s barely even possible to fucking die in that show, unless you’re one of Gabrielle’s boyfriends) there have never been any wizards. Soothsayers, mystics, psionics, shamans, gods, the undead…but no wizards. Never.
And also, what is a man. ’‘throws glass wine pon’ the marbled flooring’’
I was looking online for about five minutes on how to spell ’‘upon’’ properly in old English, so then I could say; nerds don’t point things out about themselves, they show themselves. But I didn’t have enough patience to look far enough to see if I got it right…if I were a true nerd, I would know whether I did or not, and wouldn’t even have to look for it. Still, my answer, Xena.