Here is a story about two young women who felt almost exactly like you do. They both hung out with a group of single friends in their mid to late 20’s. Everyone in the group was focused on their careers and just having fun in their spare time. Then over a two year period, all but three of the members met someone, married and moved away. The third, a guy, also moved away.
The two women wanted to marry as well, and one really wanted to have children. They made a pact that if both were not married by the time they turned 35, the one would get pregnant and the other would help her raise the child.
They both continued to sporadically date and focus on their careers. One ended up moving to several other cities, but the friends stayed in touch. Years later, one of the women sent her friend an e-mail that said, “So, are you ready to carry through with your half of the pact?” and attached was a photo of a beautiful baby.
A phone call to the friend uncovered the story. The woman, a hotel manager, had just broken off a long-term relationship with a deadbeat guy and decided that she would look into In vitro fertilization in the near future. A week after the breakup, one of the hotel clerks called her at home and asked, “Do you know anyone who wants to adopt a baby? One of the guests just asked for directions to the closest fire station so that she could drop her baby off there.”
The woman ended up adopting the baby. At the last court hearing, the judge said, “You know that taking on this responsibility will greatly limit your chances of finding a partner.” The woman’s quick and honest response: “Yes, and it will be for the best. I will be much more selective on who I would consider dating than I have in the past.”
Back to the other woman. She immediately went to visit her friend, but the two women both knew that the pact wouldn’t be upheld. A few years later, she met a man online purely by accident while doing some research for work. They met in person six months later and became engaged by the end of the year. It will be a first marriage for both of them, despite being in their mid-40s. She gave up her career and is planning to move from the US to England.
Trust those that advise you to keep focusing on learning more about yourself through education, career and personal interests. Do not lower the bar when it comes to what you want in a relationship just to find a husband. Both of the women above did this at some point in their lives, and both realized it would have been a huge mistake in the long run.
P.S. The second woman is me. The one with the beautiful young daughter is my best friend.
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