I don’t think it has to be one or the other. It’s not all a handout, and it’s not all needed, because people are not all the same. I could come up with examples of both extremes.
Knowing that there are cheaters in any system, I’d rather accept some cheating (adding, of course, ways to minimize and catch cheaters) in order to have the programs in place to help those that truly, really, honestly do need some help.
Example: I grew up on welfare. We got food stamps, and a welfare check each month, throughout my childhood. Did we need it? Well, I was a kid, so what I saw I remember through a child’s eyes. I remember it not being enough, so Mom had to work under the table (like babysitting for cash, or bussing tables in a sympathetic restaurant) in order to make ends meet. Could she have worked a “regular job” to support me? I don’t know: she could so some simple things, but she was a high school dropout. She had few marketable skills, plus she was a b!tch to people around her so I could see her out on her ear very easily. She had a “world owes me a living” attitude, so you might consider her a cheater.
That said, I was not a cheater. I was just a little kid. I needed a place to stay and food to eat, and the welfare checks supplied that. I don’t know if my mom could have afforded daycare on the crappy wages she would have been getting had she worked crappy jobs. It was just my single mom and me, no dad or siblings, so Mom was who there was to take care of me. Because of government support, I was able to have enough food (even if it was frozen pot pies, ramen, or potatoes with government cheese, and yes I got “free school lunch”) to see me through my educational day without being too hungry. I had clothes to wear, even if they weren’t the most fashionable. And because of all of this, I went on to become a net benefit to the government: I pay taxes. I have worked real jobs since age 18, and never been fired. I don’t steal, I pay my rent or mortgage, I am not on drugs, or have eight kids starting from when I was 16, and I graduated high school and have some college. I am everything that I wouldn’t have been, had I had to live on the street. I was the sort of person who took the hand-up.
Of course, after Clinton’s welfare reforms, you can’t be on it for your whole childhood anymore, but in order to help people like me, there are going to be some people like my mom. You can try to separate the two, but some will make it through. That’s part of the cost of having a compassionate first-world society where we don’t let children like me starve. It sucks that it happens, but the benefits outweigh the costs.