Products that should be invented?

Speakers that can tell when your girlfriend is asleep so your porn doesn’t wake her up in the middle of the night.

Or, a computer that is connected to your body somehow. When you die, your computer will delete all of your porn.

Dolphin splitter.

It splits dolphins in half, you have to put one in every 30 minutes or it automatically fires a nuke in to the planets core and wipes out all life on earth.

@poisonedantidote ಠ_ಠ

I’m thinking we should invent something that resembles a comb that can be used to gather leaves. All you’d have to do would be to move this along your lawn and it would gather the leaves quietly. It would eliminate the need for loud, civilization-killing leaf blowers. Maybe it could look something like this. Hope we can invent something like this in my lifetime.

Microwave toast.

These are hilarious. Keep ‘em coming!

Like a roomba, but for your walls and ceilings to keep cobwebs away.

Invent a pretend board game. It doesn’t have to be functional, you could make it funny.

I want a machine that punctures car tires of people who speed on our road.

Or, how about a machine you can attach to your kid so that when they use a bad word, it automatically slaps them.

Or, here’s a real idea. I have a house on three levels and I have to check up and down the house to see if the lights are off before I go out or go to bed. I would like an app or something that I can just look at where I am and see if and or where the lights are on in the house or perhaps I can turn them off from there as well. Laziness.

Personalised superhero suit. Like Edna Moe from Incredibles.

1) A thing that would make it possible to shower and dry as quick and easy as in Sims.
2) An invisibility coat
3) A board to surf on air – like in the sky.
4) A thing that would make incredibly delicious, but unhealthy stuff, healthy.
... And so much more!

A vacuum that can totally deal with pet hair, no big deal.

Homemade ice cream maker that fits into the fridge’s freezer. It could be portable, but always ready to churn out some homemade banana nut ice cream.

A hot dog, that can be cooked in the microwave oven, without being dry and rubbery in the middle of it.

A suntan lotion that repels sand.

Recyclable condoms.

Birth control that is 100% effective and safe and foolproof to use, that will not interfere with future fertility or cause any kind of loss of sensation to either party, that is inexpensive and easy to acquire that somehow doesn’t cause the Church to get all in an upheaval. One that does not involve surgery or invasion of a woman’s body or potentially cause her to have a stroke or a heart attack or pierce the inside of her uterus or cause inflammation, and one that does not involve cutting a man or a woman’s tubes and nothing that involves anyone having to slip something over, or slide something into or lube up something or pull out something or even have to remember to do something in the heat of the moment.

So far, we’re not even close to that : (

Or a machine that automatically contacts the police when an impaired person (could be drunk, could be someone hopped up on allergy medicine, could be someone stupid, could be a child who found Daddy’s keys) gets behind the wheel and prevents them from driving the car.

Not stupid but affordable, please- quick and simple in-office procedures to correct incontinence in humans and pets.

Thermal cooling unitard, underwired undergarments for women.

Thermal cooling, moisture wicking dress socks.

The Cat Vac. A plexiglass tube that you insert your mega fluffy cat into daily for turbo suction to remove excess shedding. lol

OMG! Only 2 weeks til my monster man gets his summer buzz…I am getting fist sized wads of fur and weeds off of his giant body, I’ve started calling him ‘Mr. Weeds”..the stuff that comes in on his body is freaking amazing. haha

I don’t know who thought “microwave toast” was a joke; I’d like to try that.

Here’s another that sounds weird and odd, but would help a lot of people – animals, too – an automatic nail shaver. Not a clipper, but some kind of sand-blaster thing that would trim nails (fingernails, toenails, domestic pet claws) to a predetermined length – and no further – with no limb holding or cutting, and no chance of cutting into the flesh or the quick. Hangnails, too.

A boomerang effect for anything you tend to lose repeatedly.

Pillows that fluff themselves up at whatever time you set them to. I’d just sit there all day and watch them fluff up and bounce around.

The F13 key that implements “Do what I meant, not what I typed”.

Tooth paste tubes that actually work as well as they did in the 1950s.

And at my age, it’s not a bit too soon for a time machine.

@cazzie “Or, here’s a real idea. I have a house on three levels and I have to check up and down the house to see if the lights are off before I go out or go to bed. I would like an app or something that I can just look at where I am and see if and or where the lights are on in the house or perhaps I can turn them off from there as well. Laziness.”
^ I’m extremely intrigued. What would you name the app?
Thanks!

I’ve come up with ideas like; home-aid and house-relief. Thoughts?

How about ‘Light Saver’.. it sort of sounds like Lightsaber… or C-lights, or you could call it the ‘i-out’. Don’t for get to put your ‘i-out’!

Or SmartLights. I don’t know. It’s late and I am tired. Night. Damn.. now I have to go check the house to turn the lights off.

I’d like to see someone invent a way to let paid members of NPR skip the begging ads that take place during fund drives.

And if you call during the next hour your donation will be doubled with a matching grant by….

A personality detector/scanner that hones in on others dysfunctions. Handy palm sized device that can be used undetected and emits a high pitched beep when passive aggressive, manipulative and deceitful personalities are in the vicinity. lol

eeeeep…you are the weakest link!