Could you be friends with someone that doesn't think you should have the right to marry the one you love?

This question cracks me up.

My ex-brother in law, who is gay, like 10 years back, and I discussed gay rights one afternoon. He said he would be happy with just civil union rights. I told him that is like accepting segregation. Separate is never equal.

He introduced me to his future husband a few days later. He said, “Oh, you are the straight guy who is a freak for gay rights?”

I can be friends with people who hold different views than I do.

Total polarizations of society is a bad thing. It leads to let’s go form our own country where everyone thinks like we do.

I have a friend on Facebook that I knew when I was growing up. I knew her all throughout junior high and high school years. We even went to dances together. She is a conservative, fundamentalist Christian who believes my homosexuality is a choice. We are still friends on Facebook. We’re cordial and joke with each other.

That being said, I tell her directly and plainly what my views are on equal rights. I don’t state my views argumentatively. I am open about my sexuality and my opinions regarding it. I don’t take rude shit from anybody. She disagrees respectfully, and I can live with that. If I ever meet a man to marry, she won’t be on the guest list however.

No.

I am friends with people that have some ABSURD (compared to my own views) outlooks. I have just come to the conclusion that different people are different, and will sometimes have some polarizing topics of disagreement.

It’s healthy to speak with, and especially be friends with people whose opinions differ, even if strongly. It’s a good exercise in acceptance and open-mindedness. You don’t evolve unless you argue and learn how to make these types of relationships work (IMO).

As a libertarian, I believe that really it doesn’t matter, because the federal government should have no role in marriage, or any other similar aspect of personal relationships. This is supposed to be an acknowledgment between two people, not a couple and the government. Maybe that’s why I can be friends with people whose opinions differ on this subject, because regardless of which belief they align with, I just kinda chuckle inside thinking, “it doesn’t matter, you’re focusing on the wrong point.”

I probably could. Mainly because I don’t feel that strongly about gay marriage, even though I am gay. Unlike @Hawaii_Jake, I doubt I could be friends with someone who thought my homosexuality was a choice, but I wouldn’t know for sure unless I were in that situation. My mom couldn’t be friends with a Jehovah’s Witness who believed her kids were pleasing the devil by going to Sunday school.

You can be friends with someone with different views, but not all “different views” are the same and there are some views that are offensive enough that I couldn’t be friends with a person who held them. I don’t count opposition to gay marriage in those “offensive enough” kinds of views, however.

Nah. Couldn’t respect them.

I don’t have many friends, as it happens.

Why not? Maybe I can lead by example.

One divorce is enough. My real friends tell me NOT to marry the one I love.

I have friends with very different ideas about things. I would hope they would suppress their personal feelings about same sex unions and only try to prevent my marriage because the person was no good for me. Unfortunately, I know that if I were gay they would not accept me as their friend in the first place.

This question is actually more complicated than it seems. I do have friends who are against gay marriage and I am for it. I have friends have some very different thoughts than me on political issues. But, the question at hand is can I be friends with someone who think I should not be able to marry the one I love. Me. Not other people on some philosophical level, but me. I really am not sure. I think I could still associate with them, but close friends, I doubt it.

No. Luckily, I make a point not to be friends with people who think that. I do know several people who are against gay marriage, but I wouldn’t consider them friends.

ETA: It’s not entirely just that it’s insulting and inevitably leads to conflict (or, them running away lest they catch the gay cooties from me…), but that statisically, I tend not to have enough in common with people who are against gay marriage (for the gay part, not the marriage part) to really sustain a friendship. There’s a limit to how much even I can talk about food and Star Wars with someone before we’re really going to need other things in common.

I can be friends with people with differing points of view, but only to a point. If I find they are very much against issues which favor, such as gay marriage, I refuse to discuss the issue because I get very angry and lose respect for them as a person. It definitely limits the depth of the friendship and it’s much easier to walk away from it.

Hmm. I do have friends with different views, but if it came down to them fighting against my rights, they’d have to go. If I were gay, I could deal with someone believing my homosexuality was a choice, as long as they didn’t condemn me for it. But if they’re voting in favor of constitutional amendments that hurt me? No way.

I don’t think I could be friends with someone who held homophobic views. The only person I know personally who is homophobic is my father. We don’t talk about the subject at all.

I have trouble being friends with anyone who thinks I will burn in hell for not believing.

No.

I could be acquaintances but not friends.

Sure, they can think what they want. If I have a friend, they don’t have to agree with everything I do or think. I’d be fine with it, as long as maturity and respect was the name of the game. That would be expected of me, just as much. If they tried to impede my progress or whatever though, that’s another story.

I don’t intend to marry anybody, but it would depend on what else the “friend” believed. I’m not going to continue being friends with someone who thinks I’m evil because of who I choose to have sex with. Love the sinner, hate the sin? No. How about it’s not a sin, get over it.

Plus – I may not want to get married but a lot of my gay friends do, so it still matters.

Not really. It would be like having a friend who is racist against white people (I am white). I could not see that working.

Testing.

What’s with you and testing @Brian1946? Are you experiencing Fluther issues?

Actually I was experiencing an issue with my memory of Fluther functionality.

My testing was influenced by this question.

I was guessing that the OP was referring to the circumstance when an OP posts a quip in their own question thread. However, it had been such a long time since I had done so, that I wasn’t sure if an OP saw a “Thank yourself” when they did that. As it turned out, I didn’t see one when I first posted my quip, but I did once I reloaded or reentered the thread.

I think I have to agree with @Hawaii_Jake. I would still be friends with them, but I wouldn’t discuss the matter or let them meet my loved one. This would just be one thing in the list of things I disagree with them. I would find someone else who supports me on the matter.

But if they actively try to discourage me and hinder me from my desire, then I think I would have to part ways with them. I respect everyone’s choice and I won’t have anyone impose anything on me.

I’m not gay btw. I’m just speaking about a hypothetical situation of forbidden love in general.