What seemingly simple thing can you not do?

Whistle.

Whistle.

I can’t place the palm of my hand against the front of the shoulder on the same side.

E.g., I can’t touch the front of my right shoulder with the palm of my right hand, because I can’t move my hand any closer than about 3” from my shoulder.

Play foosball

I can’t make an omelet or scrambled eggs! Somehow, I always manage to mess them up. I’m like this with cooking in general- I can’t make the easiest, most simple things, but I’m quite good at making super complicated recipes.

Understand why people vote Republican.

@Fly: You can’t have the heat on too high and you have to move the eggs around in the pan. You also can’t keep the pan on the heat for too long.

Catch a ball – well, maybe once in a while, I can.

Marching.
I was in ROTC and I just couldn’t seem to get the hang of it, it looked plain and simple, but it really wasn’t. I was quite a clumsy oaf. I’m normally quite graceful, but I guess with the instructor watching and yelling I got nervous. When they threw a rifle in the mix, that was even harder having to spin it and what not as I marched.

@Brian1946 I can’t do the shoulder thing either (never knew that was a position option and never tried it until you posted).

I can’t write and listen to the TV or radio at the same time. And I can’t skateboard (or do a lot of things that require balance).

I can’t dance around and sing along with a song at the same time.

@jca It’s not so much that I don’t know how to make them, I’m just no good at it!

Whistle loudly with two fingers. I have always wanted to do that!
I can’t french braid, bah..no coordination.
I am also a complete failure at BBQing.
Everyone always tells me I should get a BBQ..no thanks, I’ll just light my deck on fire and burn the burgers.

I also can’t make over easy eggs.

Fold my tongue.

I cannot for life of me replace one of those long fluorescent bulbs in a fixture, I can never get Super Glue to work anything but my skin and a have the damndest time closing Ziploc bags, particularly on packages that are manufactured with a Ziploc type of closure. I have absolutely no idea why I have trouble with these things. I’m kind of in the center of the bell curve when it comes idiot-savants. Not a complete idiot but not that brilliant either.

And @Brian1946 and @Kayak8 ... I never knew that touching one’s palm to the front of the same side shoulder was something some people can’t do, though to be more accurate, it’s not something I’ve ever really thought about at all . I’m not sure I’ve even ever tried until right now. I just did try it and I can do it but it’s not natural thing to do. How do people know these things? Why would anyone put their right palm flat against the front of their right shoulder, e.g.? Is there some sport or activity that requires it?

I am fairly flexible though. I can bend over and not only touch the floor with the tips of my fingers, I guess most people can do that, but I can bend over and touch the floor with my palms completely flat against the floor.

Blow my nose. I am so bad at it that I only do it in private.

I can’t seem to remember which is the standard direction to twist things open or shut. Valves, spigots, bottle caps, things like that. So many times I’ve struggled to open something, only to find that I’ve tightened it almost to breaking.

There used to be a diagram on the wall above the washing machine that my husband drew to remind me which way was off for the water going into the connected hose, where I couldn’t see it. More than once I turned it on full blast when I thought I was shutting it off, and the pressure built up dangerously inside the hose. He’d say “Turn it the same way you turn a faucet,” and I’d say “I can’t see the water. I can tell which way is correct with the faucet because the water stops or starts.” Luckily the newer washer just stays connected.

Talking about turning something “right” or “left” when it goes in a circle makes no sense to me.

I have the same difficulty remembering which way to change the clocks in fall and spring. Saying to set it “ahead” or “back” seems to mean the opposite thing to me.

@laineybug just reminded me that I can’t blow a raspberry, either. :/

I’m also one of those jellies who is terrible at games with a ball. I can’t throw or catch. I can’t hit either. I’m simply bad at it.

@Jeruba It’s generally “left to loosen, right to tighten” if that helps you remember. Except for bicycle pedals and maybe some other things. I recently discovered that the right and left pedals on a bicycle screw in in different directions. It was extremely frustrating assembling my bicycle and not to know that at the time.

@lillycoyote, it doesn’t. Thanks anyway. My husband has said that a thousand times, and I still need a diagram. As I said, I can’t get a fix on right and left when something is circular. You know—when you turn it, part of it is going to the right and the other part to the left.

@Hawaii_Jake Haha…me too, I don’t play any sports that involve balls, run with that if you like.
I’m a thinker not a thrower. lol

@Jeruba I hope that doesn’t include a steering wheel…

I can’t sew. I have tried and tried but the most I can do is replace a button. :(

@eiram – I think the tongue folding thing is genetic. I could be wrong but that sounds familiar.

@tedibear It is genetic, but I still can’t do it.

I can’t catch or hit a ball either.
I also can’t whistle with two fingers, and I can’t gargle.

@tedibear LOL. That might work for you @Jeruba: think of all the circular things you encounter, that need to be turned one way or the other, as little steering wheels.

@Jeruba instead of getting him to tell you left or right, get him to say clockwise or counter-clockwise.

I can’t keep my feelings off my face.

@Jeruba

Please forgive me if the following becomes the straw of unsolicited advice that breaks your camel’s back, but in terms of right to tighten and left to loosen, those directions mean from the top of the object that is being tightened or loosened.

Thanks for all the well-meaning advice, guys. I just don’t think my hangup over this bit of functionality would have persisted through 35 years of living with a one-time engineering major and former writer of technical manuals if all I needed was some words on the screen. I just about can’t stand having anybody else tell me how I ought to think about it.

There’s no problem with a steering wheel because the car turns to the right or the left. That is effective feedback.

I also could NEVER run and jump up onto my horses backs over the years. I always wanted to be able to vault onto their backs and not for lack of being athletic for a lot of years, I’m just short, and short women and tall horses make for finding a rock to mount from bareback.
But I can ride bareback at a full gallop no hands, so balance trumps vaulting. lol

I still can’t ride that darn unicycle more than 3 seconds.

I can’t remember slash from backslash. I have trouble copying from one monitor to another even. I have studied the difference and can learn the difference, but it quickly disappears.

As a liar, I am totally useless. Even if I exaggerate about myself, my voice crackles and breaks up.

I cannot stand on one foot. Unless the person whose foot I am standing on is asleep.

Unlock a door with my left hand. It’s a bit of a mystery since I am left-handed.

Identify east, west, north and south

This has been a very telling thread on so many levels! So many people I view as insanely competent struggle with things I don’t think about—it gives me hope regarding the things with which I struggle. I just scrolled up and gave a GQ!

@Kayak8 Well come BBQ me something good. lol

I can not snap my fingers, no matter how hard or often I try.

I can’t stop missing my Father who recently passed away.

Tell someone how I feel when I really like them… : (

@blueiiznh :-( So sorry.

I can’t snap my fingers and make any noise. I can pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.

@ragingloli Oh well, your snappy mouth makes up for your lack of finger snapping. All that snapping energy has to go somewhere. lolol

@blueiiznh I’m sorry. I can’t stop missing my father either and he died five years ago this past April 4th. You may never stop missing his. It is not a “seemingly simple” thing that we can just can’t seem to do. It isn’t simple, or easy at all. I adored my father. I don’t think I will ever stop missing him. Things will get better, @blueiiznh, with time, but I don’t think you will ever stop missing him. :-(

I can’t catch a flyball, no matter how hard I try I’m always inches off. I can’t, for the life of me. crochet or knit, which comes as a surprise to people who know how many arts and crafts I can do.

I barely can plan ahead or sense time.

I can’t whistle, can’t swim, and I never learned how to drive. Also, hooking stuff up like televisions and video game consoles turns me into a thousand drunk Vikings. It just pisses me off so much.

kiss ass

@6rant6 Ooh, I can’t lie, either. It shows all over my face. Good one!

@Symbeline You both can’t swim and can’t drive?!?!? I absolutely adore you dear, but you are apparently a mess! Swimming at least, is an essential skill, just as a matter of safety and survival. Can you ride a bicycle? Can you walk and feed yourself at least? Please tell me you can! :-)

I can’t do that finger whistle thing.
I can’t say Hawaii properly.
I don’t exactly know how to scream.
Everything I try to grow (plant-wise) dies rather quickly.

@Jeruba Make a “thumbs up” sign with your right hand. Now wrap your fingers around the thing you want to move (screw, cap, faucet, bolt, etc.) If you twist the object in the direction your fingers are pointing, it will move in the direction your thumb points.

I can’t roll my Rs.

When speaking Italian or Spanish (or any Romance language), you have to roll your Rs – or, more specifically, move your tongue in such a way to make the sound Rrrrrrrr.

”Rrrrrrōberrrtō”
”Rrrrricōtta”
”Rrrrrestaurante”

I cannot get my tongue to do that for the life of me, thus making my already feeble attempts to speak Italian or Spanish even more feeble.

I find it impossible to conduct a mature, sustained conversation with a pwetty lady with her cleavage on show.
I mean, i’m listening but admiring the view at the same time.

__Oh, the laundry room!__
Folding fitted sheets! AG!!!!
Ironing anything.
Remembering to take things out of the dryer before they wrinkle.

Reading all the things you guys can’t do is making me feel freakin’ talanted! I should go on Springer or something!

As an athlete that never met a game I couldn’t play well, it frustrated me that I could never get the hang of water skiing on one foot. Grrrrr.

Please stop with the advice! Why aren’t you telling the nonwhistlers to just put their lips together and blow, or the non-finger-snappers to just press their fingers together and pop, or the nonswimmers to just jump in and paddle? It’s easy and anyone can do it so, what’s the matter with you? Argh! Leaving this thread forever.

I love you, @Jeruba :-*

I have a girlfriend who can’t tell her left from her right. You have to say ‘watch hand’ ‘nonwatch hand’ to her.

I can’t change florescent bulbs either. I am afraid they will shatter in my hands. I refuse to ride a motorcycle. I am trying desperately to teach myself how to edit video so that I can make cool film bits for my blog. So far, disaster. I tell myself, But YouTube is full of shit!! Why can’t I work this out??

Gosh, how come no one here wants to help me with my inability to touch my shoulder with the palm of my hand? ;-(

Is it because it’s an ability that has no known use? ;-o

@cazzie I have always had a hard time telling my left from my right…I have to wink my right eye. Although I can wink both eyes…..I have to wink my right eye to be sure that’s the right side. Strange.

@Brian1946 Have you tried a winch???

@Jeruba The best way to get people to stop giving you advice is to blow them away with a bazooka.

Owwwwwwwww. That hurt! I wish you wouldn’ta done that! ;-)