I was surprised to find that I really had to think about this question in order to define what spirituality means to me.
I thought about how so many people say that spirituality is a sense of connectedness to all living things, to nature if you will…I asked myself if that is how I really experience what I think of as spirituality. I think yes, spirituality involves connectedness. Intellectually I believe that. Yet, that isn’t really how I experience it, to be honest.
Somewhat ironically I decided that I experience my sense of spirituality, for the most part anyways, when I am observing and not interacting with people. It is then that I can feel a deeper appreciation of the grand parade of life. I do sometimes think of myself as that proverbial tiny grain of sand on the beach in the unfathomable universe of life (including ETPro‘s slime molds, lol.) and inert matter…there’s so little we can know of it…..it’s just out there, it exists and here we are in it.
Maybe I’m not that developed spiritually because this feeling of being a small part of a larger whole does nothing for me. At least not when I think of it in such abstract terms. Yet when I sit by the ocean, preferably alone, and watch the waves wash up against the rocks, I do have a feeling of peace. Maybe there is peace in accepting that I am just a small being, humbly struggling my way through life, and that is enough…I love being an observer….our culture lauds the achievers and the heroes. Of course we need those people, actually we need more of them. But I don’t think I am cut from that cloth. In my so called spiritual moments I tell myself that this is not good or bad, it simply is. Like Popeye, I yam what I am! Or like Yahweh, I am who am. You see that is my sort of spiritual underpinnings, asking myself what it means to be human. Continually asking and not accepting easy answers. Knowing that it is important to simply ask the question, to ponder and to enjoy a sense of wonder.
I do believe we are descended from the apes, yet the amazing thing is, I believe, that we are more than animals and the thing that separates us from the animals is our spirituality. We are war-mongering, bloodthirsty, greedy animals with moments of redeeming grace. I think striving toward having more of those moments of grace is what makes us special. Recognizing that who we are and what we become and that how we live our lives defines us, that it matters, if only to us, it matters. In quiet moments or in searing insights or in gentle introspection we discover our spiritual nature. It’s hard to put a finger on what exactly that is for me. This is the best that I can do. GQ wundayatta :)
In part 2 I will try to answer how this influences my behavior. I am tired now, pheww!!!