In what ways can I lessen my anxiety?

Have people told you you look like you are going to cry? Or, that is what you think?

I say practice smiling and fake it til you make it. I know it is very difficult, anxiety has to be one of the worst things to suffer from. The feeling of lack of control is awful. Just look at school as being a performance. The curtain goes up, and you present to the world your calm and happy self. Stand up straight, walk confidently. Eventually you might begin to feel calmer and happier. Behavioral Cognitive therapy is known to be effective for people, and basically it reinforces facing fears and moving forward through the anxiety. I do think the more you avoid things, the worse your anxiety will get, I know that seems counterintuitive.

Also, there might be something seemingly unrelated to the social anxiety that is at the root of all this. Something in childhood or your family or a specific event that happened that causes you to be anxious. Dealing with that might relieve you of the general anxiety you feel. Did someone once comment on your facial expressions and it hurt your feelings badly and it sticks woth you?

I recommend also taking a class like karate or dance or swimming or some sort of sport that will give you strength and awareness of your body. Something you enjoy.

Think about how often you are thinking about other people. Very little, right? Well, that’s how often other people are thinking about you.

Consider something to take the edge off. Would your mother let you go to the family doctor? If so, you can tell your doctor about your anxiety. If not, go to a drugstore and get some Calms Forte. Read the directions on dosage and do not exceed it.

Allow people to let you know that you look emotional. That’s a step into healing.

Have you tried medication? I know that always isn’t the answer, but I do remember your story, and if you haven’t gotten any better you might want to speak to a psychologist.

Also, have some peaceful times to yourself. Sit down, relax a little, read, nap if you have to,

Hope this helps.

It sounds like your mom is worried about the stigma attached to mental health. That’s to bad.
Maybe you could try yoga? Also, try focusing on your breathing when you feel the anxiety coming on. Don’t forget to exhale.

Which country do you live in?

It is really hard to handle anxiety in places and cultures where mental illness has even more of a stigma than it does in the United States. Asian cultures are particularly in denial about mental illness. So my suggestion is that if you parents won’t help you and your school won’t help you, then you have done the right thing in looking on the internet.

The good news is that you can deal with this, even without support from your family. I think you need to educate yourself. You will probably have to do it without meds, but it is possible. There are many resources online where you can read about anxiety and other mental illnesses. You can learn about techniques people use to combat them. There are self-help techniques.

The important thing to know is that it is real, and you don’t have to blame yourself if you have a hard time with it it. It is not your fault. It is a problem with your brain chemistry.

What people usually do is get individual therapy, group therapy, and medication. You may not have access to any of those things in person. The only thing you may have access to is group therapy or support online. You will have to “meet” with groups at times the groups meet. This may be difficult, since most of the groups are organized around times good for folks who live halfway around the world from you.

Still, you can persevere, and eventually things will get better. You will learn how to cope. It will become easier over time, but it might be very difficult before it gets better and you may wonder if you can make it. Whenever you think that, tell yourself that you must give yourself three months before you make a major decision. Do not make any major decisions while in great trouble. Just don’t do it. Wait three months. Then see.

This is all generic advice. There’s more, too, but I’ve gone on long enough. Keep asking questions. Don’t be afraid to talk about your life. It helps. No one knows you here and it can’t get back to your parents or community. So you are safe and among friends. I wish you the best.