How to change your personality?
I have been told be happy with who you are or you can’t change your personality however I don’t believe that.
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11 Answers
When I think about it, my personality hasn’t really changed, but as I matured, I have taught myself not to act on what my ‘personality’ wants to do. Example: I’m basically very competitive. I really hate losing and not being “the best.” So I stopped competing and slowly got used to being back in the pack. It’s made me more relaxed and easier going than I know I am. That’s my choice, But I still have my 10 year old enthusiasms for learning, being helpful, friendliness, exploring, adventure, and being somewhat aloof.
If you’re aware of different parts of your personality, you can change the way you behave, but not necessarily your personality. You can become more outgoing if you are shy. You can repress a tendency to overreact in anger. You can become more generous (another trait I worked to change).
Welcome to Fluther!
2. “are you the same person like when you were 10 years old?”
Fuck yeah!
The theory behind Myers-Briggs says that type is an inherent part of who you are and cannot be changed. You can (and should), however, develop your type as you grow up and mature. Knowing your type can help you see your strengths, see the areas where you need to improve, and develop a balanced personality.
If you’re looking for a book to read about personality type, Gifts Differing is really good. The last 5 chapters talk about type development.
Why do you want to change your personality?
You can pretend to be whoever you want to be if you focus hard enough on it. You can influence your existing personality by looking deeper into yourself to gain better understanding of who you are then working to correct underdeveloped skills or ignored flaws.
I think that what most people do is identify things they want to accomplish—concrete goals. Then they figure out how to accomplish those goals. Changing personality is not really the point. Who cares? You are who you are, but being someone else is not going to get you anywhere.
What gets you places is identifying what you want, developing a plan to get it, and executing that plan. Psychologists and life coaches and any number of other charlatans can help you do that. Similarly, you could look for books that advertise helping you to get what you want out of life.
But I can’t think of how changing your personality would help. It’s really unnecessary. All you need is to go for what you want. Any personality changes you need will follow as a result of your taking steps to get what you want.
You can gain self confidence in your appearance by attending modeling classes. Sometime the best plan is to visit a psychological counselor for a few times. They can help you find the goals you want to achieve.
You really cannot change your basic personality. You can change your behavior and your response to situations.
What do you want to change and why?
Can’t be done, unless you seriously injure your head or use high doses of particular drugs over an extended period of time.
You can change your personality. I changed from a cynical, depressed pessimist into a happy, hopeful realist. I was painfully shy and very insecure; now I am a friendly introvert—I still get overwhelmed in crowds, but I feel much less intimidated in social situations.
For me, it involved observing people whom I admired, and emulating those character traits that I wanted to incorporate into who I am. It took time and conscious effort when making everyday decisions, and learning to not reflexively react emotionally, but to pause and think and choose my actions based on how the person I want to become would handle that scenario.
At first it felt unnatural, but in time and with practice, those attitudes and behaviors became a part of me and I transformed into the person I always knew lived inside of me. And my scores on those personality tests have changed in the past 20 years.
Well it’s about embracing yourself, and finding things about yourself that you do like. Trust me, you will not be happy behaving like another person. If you don’t like yourself then that is on you.
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