Should I contact my old cat breeder?
I’m sure you’ve experienced this before:
When making a big purchase that requires a decision on which company to use, after making a bunch of phone calls/emails, you begin to bond with someone. Then, almost inevitably, you go with someone else.
Do you let them know you’ve gone with someone else, or do you wait for them to contact you first?
The specifics: When deciding on my new Exotic Shorthair, I sent out over 60 emails to breeders in the US. One cattery (yes, they’re called ‘catteries’) stood out among the rest for me. They were extremely helpful, even though they didn’t have what I was looking for at the time. They answered all of my questions, and expected to have what I was looking for later in the year, which was also going to be when I would have space for the new kitten. My circumstances changed, and when I was able to get a kitten immediately, I began looking at other breeders out of curiosity, and fell in love with a kitty that I now lovingly know as “Lemon”. After months of speaking with them, and sharing our lives’ stories, I can’t help but feel a little guilty on the matter (I’m also neurotic, so that doesn’t help).
At this point, would the situation warrant a, “Thanks so much for all your help, but I’ve gone with another breeder,” or would it be better to wait until they email back with a potential kitten first?
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10 Answers
You don’t owe the “rejected” catteries an explanation. You said it, you’re neurotic. Nuff said. Enjoy little Lemon and don’t guilt trip yourself, you made your choice, and biz. is biz.
You had to choose, you chose Lemon. The end.
A short thank-you note never goes amiss; it can do no harm to send one.
However, I am confused. You corresponded with a breeder of old cats and yet purchased a kitten?
If you want to. But you are under no obligation to contact them at all.
@gailcalled
“old cat breeder” = “cat breeder he conversed with in the past”
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If I were in your shoes, I would contact the breeder to let them know your status. It sounds like they are still attempting to accommodate your request. It’s not required, but it is a courtesy that shows respect for their time. Put yourself in their place…would you want to know?
P.S. I find nothing neurotic about it. It is just plain good manners. Simple as that.
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You don’t owe them anything, but hey, it would be really nice.
Like you said, you bonded with them. They spent time helping you. They did SOMETHING to make you feel this obligation (potential) to at least tell them.
It couldn’t hurt to say “hey, you said you didn’t have anything til later, I was able to get one now, thanks for your help but I found a kitty and fell in love with it.”
It takes 2 minutes on your part, and might help them from going out of their way to look for a cat for you, or from looking forward to a future sale. Yeah, they shouldn’t count on it, but it happens : /
Also, if you apply this philosophy to everything you do, it’s a good exercise in keeping doors open. Building a relationship, and then ignoring it leads to burning bridges. In other situations, that can mean something.
Anyway, it takes two minutes of your time . . . I think you should do it.
You’re not obligated, but it can’t hurt to say something like “thank you for your time and attention, but I found a kitten elsewhere (not necessary to say where) and I’m very happy with her. If in the future I am in search of another cat, I’ll definitely keep you guys in mind. I really liked your selection and I am forever grateful for your helpfulness. Thanks again for your assistance and please stay in touch.”
It can’t hurt to have a friend that’s somewhat of a cat expert, and it also won’t hurt to correspond from time to time.
You’re not obligated of course, but as a matter of courtesy, as others have mentioned… it’s what I would do, at least. It sounds like they were very helpful and as you said, you kind of bonded or at least got along very well. I would just give the person a call and explain that your circumstances changed, you fell in love with a particular cat, cat people should understand that, and thank them for their help and that it was a pleasure doing business with them and you enjoyed your conversations and it just didn’t work out. Something along those lines.
The breeder sounds very nice, friendly and very helpful person and I think a thank you and acknowledgement of that on your part would be the right thing to do.
Common courtesy requires that you contact them. Breeders usually maintain a list of prospective adopters. It is always nice if people who have asked to be put on that list advise if they wish to be removed. An email would do fine.
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