What purpose does "kind of" serve as a modifier?
I kind of think, I kind of wish, I kind of feel…Does using that language serve any use except to trip up the reader?
I feel very strongly about this (kind of). Why waffle?
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Whatever purpose it serves for the person using it. For me it means a ‘less’ of whatever I’m saying.
It means less than a full commitment. I kind of want to play golf tody is different than I am totally commited to play golf today.
What purpose does it serve to speak in terms of absolutes? Saying “kind of” may mean the person is open to a conflicting opinion.
@gailcalled Do you prefer an alternate way of showing ambivalence?
It just means you aren’t firm in your mind about how you feel about it.
I agree with the others, it seems to imply a sort of half-hearted attitude.
Why waffle? Well, that’s a psychological question rather than a linguistic one. There are a whole lot of different possible reasons why one might want to waffle. Sometimes, people are feeling insecure about what they want to say. And waffling is a good compromise between being able to say it and not having to be bold. Maybe you should think of it as a crutch that makes it easier to just spit it out.
It can also be used as synonymous to “in a manner of speaking” or “as it were”, when you’re saying something you don’t mean literally, but it’s still the closest wording you can find to what you really mean.
I kind of think they may not have a big vocabulary, ya know? ~
@fundevogel: I am not sure I want to play golf today.
I may or may not want to play gold today.
I’m thinking about playing golf today.
Perhaps I’ll play golf.
Jimmy the Greek says that there’s a 82% chance that I’ll play golf today.
I hate golf, sort of.
@chyna
@gailcalled
Are you saying people would only say “kind of” if they can’t think of any other way to phrase the same thoughts?
I don’t think that’s true. I know I use “kind of” like that. It’s an idiom like any other, should we shy away from using it?
@gailcalled If someone asks you if you want to play golf, it’s much easier to say, “Well, kind of,” rather than “I do and I don’t.” Anyway you look at it, it’s “waffling.” People waffle!
@Fyrius: I am asking; not saying nothing.
I often use this type of language because I rarely feel that there are absolutes. More likely lots of shades of grey that language has a difficult time nailing down just so.
@Fyrius I was joking and have added a tilde to show my response was in jest.
@gailcalled It’s maybe just a problem with lack of vocabulary? I’m occasionally “called out” for being too proper when I speak. My speaking could be normal to some, and too proper for others, ya know? : )
@gailcalled I noticed you uses “sort of” in your examples above. I tend to think of that being the same as “kind of.” Do you feel “sort of” makes more sense?
@chyna: You could have skipped the tilde and just said that you were kind of joking. That would either appease or confuse everyone. A win all around.
Supacase: I was making a point…“sort of” and “kind of” are synonymous.
Note that I can add “sort of” to almost every declaratory sentence that I write.
@gailcalled ..did you just say “I’m not saying nothing??”
I did.
If someone said to me, “I kind of want to play golf,” I would ask him what he meant.
I agree with @josie
“Kinda, sorta, maybe” denotes lack of commitment vs. ” Yes, I will, I want, I shall.”
Brings to mind what the therapists said to my ex husband when we were in marriage counseling , ” Do you realize you NEVER make a solid statement about anything?” haha
The guy drove me nuts with his ” Maybe, I don’t know” responses to most everything.
Jesus mercy could you just TRY to know? lol
@all: As an experiment, try to find a sentence of wishing, feeling, wanting, considering, desiring, or longing that you can’t add “kind of” at the end.
@Blackberry; It’s not improper or abnormal usage, just wishy-washy and thus, too vague to mean anything.
@gailcalled Did you use the double negative of, “Not nothing,” tongue in cheek?
And why would you ask him what he meant? If he said, “I want to play golf, but then again, I don’t,” would you ask him what he meant?
@Coloma I so HEAR you on that! Man. My ex…he could NOT make a decision on his own! One time we were in a strange town, and he asks me where we should stop for gas. How the hell would I know?? I’d never been there before either!
It was so bad…one time we had a perfectly good printer stored carefully in the basement. It was worth, probably, $300 (they were expensive in those days!) One day we were cleaning out the basement. He pulled that printer out and said, “What should we do with this?”
I just sighed and said, “Throw it away.”
“OK,” he said.
I just wanted to lose it sometimes.
I kind of don’t like this question.
I kind of want to play golf means to me I want to, but I am willing to do something else and won’t be very dissappointed. Open to other suggestions.
@gailcalled Of course it means something! It means you have a decision to make and you’re not sure what you want to do! That’s why it’s said to another person, so the two, or three, of you can brainstorm a bit to decide what you’re going to do! You act like being uncertain is some sort of a bad thing. It’s a simple human thing. You’re not sure what you want for dinner, so you think about it for a while. “Fried chicken? Naw. Too much work. How about spaghetti.” Happens a thousand times a day.
@gailcalled That’s kind of the beauty of the phrase. You can use it on pretty much any sentence, and it always means the same general thing- you are unsure of/not committed to something. You can also say it to downplay something or to be condescending depending on tone and context, but the general meaning of the phrase remains.
I’m kind of not understanding why @gailcalled has such a problem with it.
How does it “trip up the reader”?
I think that some of us are just more articulate than others. I can be a bit scattered now and then, my joke about being slightly ADD with my fast brain, part of the ENTP personality style, but..I am super articulate and say what I mean and mean what I say. Wishy washy flakiness drives me to the edge of insanity with some people.
I may be a bit scattered on occasion but I am impeccable with my word, on time and can give a definitive answer when called upon to do so. lol
I will sometimes use “kind of” when creating a simile to paint a mental picture and am not quite sure if the message will come across clearly. For example, “Drinking decaffeinated coffee is kind of like feeding a starving dog a rubber bone.”
In addition to someone being indifferent to two choices, “kind of” might be used by someone who is asked a question and is talking through the thought process instead of handling it internally. “Where would you like to go on vacation?” “I’d kind of like to go to Paris for the culture, but a beach resort in the Caribbean would be another interesting option.”
Personally, I don’t see a problem with people using this phrase. It’s just a subtle tweak to a particular statement.
Yet another storm in a fucking teacup…..kind of.
The meaning is fairly obvious, no? It seems appropriate in casual conversation, but probably not in a formal setting. Does it bother you because it’s imprecise, or because it’s (kind of) over used?
I’m considering eating waffles, but I will probably waffle.
I love fluther, kinda sort of.
I know one example where it sounds as if it is to the point:
The Queen song “It’s A Kind Of Magic”.
It is not really magic, but it comes close.
When paired with an extreme statement, the nonchalance gives me a sense of dry humour. I’m more likely to agree with the speaker.
“Kind of makes you want to shoot someone, no?”
@lifeflame: Now, that makes sense and serves a useful purpose. Brilliant.
@gailcalled I have a feeling it is not just the indecisivesness of the phrase that bothers you, but also it sounds sloppy and beneath your level of acceptable use of the language. Similar to how my grandmother didn’t allow the word “got.” Lazy and uneducated sounding English to those who have a very strong command of the language. Correct me if I am wrong.
It is the vagueness that gets to me. If I have to ask, “What do you mean?” then there’s a problem. That seems straightforward enough.
Ok. All too often even people who seem to use straightforward words aren’t being straghtforward. To people who use “kind of” in their family and community regularly it is understood. Like if I say I will be there in a minute, I don’t really mean a minute, but my husband insists that is what it should mean.
My husband will ask a question instead of stating what he wants. He will ask me, “are you hungry?” Instead of saying he is hungry. It is not uncommon to ask if someone is hungry as we ourselves begin to feel hungry, but if I reply, “no,” to his question, he will just leave it and allow himself to get starving, instead of saying he is getting hungry in the first place, and we can negotiate when to eat or get him some food. Now I know what he means, but when we were first dating and married I had to figure out what he meant.
@gailcalled Isn’t it the exact opposite of an intensifier though? That’s not confusing. If you get “fuckin’ awesome” you shouldn’t be any less clear on “kind of awesome”.
@fundevogel: I have no problem with “fuckin’ awesome,” whereas “kind of awesome” makes no sense since “kind of’ is used as a meaningless filler.
Of course, I have serious issues with “awesome.”
@gailcalled It isn’t meaningless in “kinda awesome”. It reduces the intensity of “awesome”. Which is a bit ironic since then it means it isn’t actually awesome, but possibly approaching awesome. Or, if someone’s being coy, actually awesome but not the sort of thing the speaker wants to own up to being impressed by. But that’s subtext which is another beast entirely.
I assume you object to the ubiquitous and loose usage of awesome and not the word itself?
@gailcalled I would think it would be clear to you at this point that “kind of” does have meaning, as so many of use have delineated both its literal meaning as well as many of its other usages. With tone and context clues, the meaning of the phrase should always be discernible whether it is used literally, sarcastically, ironically, figuratively, or otherwise.
Methinks thou doth protest too much; I kind of get the feeling that you don’t actually want to understand its usages because you see it as meaningless and object to its usage.
No. Simply keeping an interesting thread alive.
_ “kind of” does have meaning, as so many of use have delineated both its literal meaning_ as well as many of its other usages. With tone and context clues, the meaning of the phrase should always be discernible whether it is used literally, sarcastically, ironically, figuratively, or otherwise.
Elegantly said, @Fly.
Sooo, then is it okay to say one is kinda pregnant, kinda honest, kinda nice, kinda sick.
“Oooh, I feel kinda sick”....okay, well then would you kinda just stay the hell away from me. lol
I think you have too much time on your hands to worry about this. (Or am I supposed to take out ‘I think’ because it’s verbal garbage?) Why should anyone be on their high-horse about the English language?
Saying things like ‘sort of’ or ‘kind of’ shows the speaker has room to move in their opinions – I see that as admirable. Why should we talk as if all our views are set in concrete? Seems kind of egotistical and lessens the humanness of our speech.
@nonexpert True, to a degree, but non-definitive “communication” is also a big issue in interpersonal relationships. Sure, there’s wiggle room, and clearly people get the jist of what is being said, but to be a flakey communicator is often problematic.
Lacks credibility if one can never make a definitive statement, or give a succinct, strait forward answer.
I’m not overly anal about anything, but..for the sake of this discussion, I agree that wishy washy words should be used sparingly.
Is there such a thing as nonhumanness of our speech?
We’re not trying to solve world hunger here, just discuss something interesting.
And what defines being on one’s high horse?
@Coloma I agree it is all about context.
@gailcalled ‘Is there such a thing as nonhumanness of our speech?’
Yes. Talking like a robot.
@nonexpert; Er, we’ve talking about word usage here and not voice modulation.
Incorrect spelling seems to irk you (re; atheist): would it be just as human to allow the misspelling since the sense is clear? Question from last week
‘Er, we’ve talking about word usage here and not voice modulation’
Oh noes! You spelled we’re wrong.
@gailcalled I feel the same way as you do about typos and misusing the language to deliver a clear message. The difference between us is that I limit the frustration to my own words, be it typed or said verbally. On certain occasions, I will privately let someone know when they are making a repeated mistake, and it’s only if I care about their reputation.
@Pied_Pfeffer” I don’t understand. Repetition or reputation? And if reputation, how so?
My original question was not accusatory but exculpatory. Is that what I mean? Ot is it inculpatory? Probably not since it was not directed at anyone. What do I mean?
I was looking for intent. To what purpose or what aim?
@gailcalled There is a Fluther member that mixes up “compliment” with “complement” repeatedly. It is a pet peeve because the difference has been drilled into my brain. I have the utmost respect for this fellow Jelly, so a PM has been sent twice to alert them to the difference in definitions. This isn’t aired in public because it may only tarnish the poster’s reputation for insightful answers, although I doubt it, but worse yet, mine for being so nit-picky.
One valid reason to mention that kind of error is that it does change the meaning of a question or answer.
If I agree that it is kind of nit-picky, does that help?
@Dutchess_III: The problem with that example is that both “compliment” and “complement” are valid spellings of words with different meanings.
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