Was this girl just flirting with my bf in front of me?

Did she know he was your boyfriend, and that your relationship wasn’t open? Or were you just a boy and a girl, and she wasn’t privy to the details of your relationship?

Well, she is just some employee we met. It’s not like she’ll know all the details about us. How is she to know? But anyways, if you worked somewhere and you saw a guy and girl together wouldn’t you be hesitant to hit on a guy thinking they were together? TO be on the safe side I wouldn’t have done that.

It sounds like you were paying separately. That would make it harder for her to know you guys were in a relationship. If you were paying together, you both would have gotten the discount on the order.

But I wouldn’t make much of it. She might be bad at math. She might just like him. She might have been feeling good and just randomly handing out discounts. Or she might have liked the way he looked and hoped he’d pay attention to her. And it’s not like you have his ring on your finger. You don’t own him. She can treat him how she wants, and you can give her the evil eye if you want.

And get charged for something you didn’t order.

No, we were paying together. But she didn’t charge him for his shake.

I don’t care if girls check out my man. I think he’s hot too why wouldn’t they? lol but to do something like that I think would be disrespectful…just like when a guy at the bar would try to hit on me in front of my guy. Which has happened while we held hands

I’d actually be far, far more hesitant to assume that anyone is heterosexual.

People are going to flirt with, and hit on, and even ask your partners out. There’s not a problem until those partners are being less than faithful to you.

You guys aren’t getting my point though. I know that people might hit on him and check him out. But you guys don’t agree that it’s disrespectful to do that when the current partner is present? I feel like it’s a slap in the face.

@chelle21689 How the heck is a cashier at a fast food place to know that you’re not just his sister or a friend?

Who cares if she was flirting with him?

I’m more inclned to think that she’s learned that if you treat customers well (especially the ones footing the bill) they’re more likely to return and become regular customers.

I care cuz I’m curious. This isn’t supposed to be some kind of debate. But I just wanted to know people’s opinions if you think it is disrepsectful to hit on someone when their partner is present yeesh! Like I said, I’m not angry about it…it’s just a curious thought if you guys for your opinion. Not for me to be lectured on O.o

I think we’re getting your point, we just aren’t agreeing that she was being disrespectful.

Not disrespectful.

If he was flirting back, I might consider that disrespectful.

Aethelflaed, okay let me get this straight just to be clear.You think the lady was just being nice right and not hitting on him? lol

And you agree that if someone hits on your partner while in front of you it’s disrespectful?

Just one of the perks of being with a good looking guy. You did eat half his Sundae I hope?

Like other people have said, maybe she didn’t know you two were together. There could be a million other reasons why a girl and a guy might be getting fast food together, for all she knew you two were related or just friends. I don’t necessarily think it was disrespectful that she didn’t just assume you two were together. Just like you shouldn’t assume that she was necessarily hitting on him. Stuff like that is gonna happen, and even if she was hitting on him, there’s nothing you can really do about it. My best advice would be to get over it and move on, because does it really matter if some random employee who you’ll probably never see again was maybe flirting with your boyfriend?

Hitting on someone & flirting are two different things IMO.

Did she say ”Hey hottie can I have your digits?” (hitting on)
Or did she upgrade his shake? (flirting)

You can never micro-manage other people’s conversation. This is pretty small potatoes in the scheme of things. Did your b/f make a date with her, slather her with the strawberry shake and then lick it off or put the money he made on this deal in an off-shore account?

Let it be.

I’m saying, I don’t know if she was flirting with him or not. BUT, in this specific context, I don’t think she was being disrespectful. Had she known you two were together and monogomous, that would have been potentially disrespectful, but she didn’t, and it can be just as disrespectful to assume you are together as to assume you aren’t. She didn’t do anything wrong.

It seems like you think it was disrespectful, because you continue to debate when people say they don’t think it was disrespectful. You can’t control what people do to him, especially someone who works in food service. They’re supposed to be nice. Maybe she was trying to make up for her mistake. What would be upsetting, if I were you, would be if he were flirtatious with her in front of you. What happened, the way it happened, I don’t think I would think twice about.

Ica, I said he made the mistake. Not the lady. HE did.

I guess everyone has their own opinions. I still have my opinion and it is not changed. Same goes for if I’m at a bar or party and a guy tries to hold me by the waist and touch me, hit on me when my bf is holding my hand.

OK. Touching is different.

Everyone does have their own opinion. Everyone has the right to their opinion. You asked, they gave it.

If my boyfriend were holding my hand and another man put his arm around my waist, I could easily be delighted.

Meh

Double meh.

@chelle21689: Given the tenor of many of your questions here, have you two considered couples counseling?

She was being mildly flirty, that’s all. As you have stated, he is hot, so when he came back up to fix his order, she was extra nice to him because he was cute.

Poor old plain looking people, or ugly people never get that kind of attention. It’s simply human nature that people want to look at, and are subsquently more friendly and attentive, to people that they find attractive, even if they have no intent in the world of hooking up with them.

I don’t think she was being disrespectful because she didn’t hit on him which is a whole other thing. Try not to let it bother you, because it just isn’t worth fretting over.

One of my friends, who is clearly in a monogamous relationship with his girlfriend, resembles Johnny Depp and whenever he comes into a room, people’s jaws drop and women gasp. They have no intention of getting with him he’s just cute. Luckily his girlfriend knows this is going to happen, expects it to happen and she’s cool with it, because she knows that he loves her.

If you’re worried that your boyfriend is going to stray, because this girl, or some other girl might flirt with him and he’s going to flirt with her and possibly hit on her, then that’s another problem entirely.

Enjoy the fact that you have a cute boyfriend : )

@chelle21689 It’s very different if a guy & gal walk into a bar holding hands. In that situation I’d read more than friends. However, walking into a fast food place holding hands is a completely different scenario.

I agree with @gailcalled. With all of your past questions taken into consideration, a therapist could be of great use.

Hey, guess what? I think that it was disrespectful.

I wouldn’t like it either, but only because my husband would be running around for a week saying “See, I told you they all want me. ” Actually I would probably be hearing the “remember when…” story years later. I am still hearing about the girl who bumped her boob against him tn the grocery store line 10 years ago.
It’s all in good fun. My answer is usually something like “yes dear, I know you’re hot. That’s why I married you.”
You will encounter stupid people your whole life. She may HAVE been hitting on him, but he didn’t take the bait and your relationship with HIM is what matters, not some random burger flipper.

Was your bf the one ordering and paying? Could be she was trying to handle one thing, one person at a time, make the paying customer happy? It seems pretty innocent to me.

Sorry to set a spanner in the works, but I guess the cashier could have been a bit more discreet!

@Judi That is so funny, I think you must be married to my brother! He does the same thing. He is still talking about the woman in the doctor’s office who asked him to remove his shirt from over a year ago. He says it was because she wanted to see his six pack abs, which he doesn’t have. Everyone else knows it was so the doctor could look at him.

And then there was the time that three women in the room were all staring at my crotch….

Yes, they were all doctors. It was still weird. But that cream they gave me worked a charm!

*******

So, yeah. She could have been flirting with him. Disrespect is in the eye of the beholder and you are perfectly within your rights to decide you are being disrespected.

But why? Why would you want to be disrespected? Why not just ignore it? It’s not something that will have any effect on your life except to make you feel bad. Why give that power to a stranger? If you’re going to do that, then you are going to feel slighted at every turn, and your life is going to be a lot worse for it. There’s no need to look for disrespect. You can always find it. But why? What good does it do you?

Yes, she was flirting right in front of you. What do you care? This is a person who works in a fast food restaurant. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

@marinelife Hey, come on now, equating low-wage menial jobs as less than is really uncalled for.

“We Drink Your MILKSHAKE”
I wonder if this gal works behind the scenes at Fluther HQ…......interesting Mr.Bond ;¬}

^HILARIOUS! :D

Possibly she was flirting. It doesn’t matter though; go on with your life. Lol.

Next time something like that happens, grab his arm and snarl at her “That’s my man! How DARE you smile at my man! He’s mine, you hear me, MINE!” Then you take him by the arm and escort him out of the building.

Oh, here’s a story for perspective:

My girlfriend and me were at a club. We’re at the bar drinking and I notice a guy staring at my girlfriend’s butt. No problem. Then, he lightly pulls her hair in an act of subterfuge, but she didn’t see who it was. I didn’t say anything, and just tell her we should move somewhere else since it’s a huge club.

About an hour or so later, I come back from the bathroom and he’s hitting on her. She turns him down and he’s being a bit persistant (she tells me later). I simply walk up, ask her if she wants to head to another bar, and we go on our way.

Situation averted in a diplomatic manner. Lol.

So can i ask did you find it disrespectful of your boyfriend to accept the flirty discount instead of correcting her and paying for what he got?

I find it immature and deceitful but not disrespectful on the cashier’s part… if she doesn’t own the shop she shouldn’t be giving stuff away free or at a discounted price without prior authorization from her superior which judging from the story she did not do.

Well, we didn’t know what was going on really. Lol, it didn’t really hit us until after everything was received.

What is the issue, anyway? She may or may not have been flirting. Does it matter to you?