Is this a normal or rude behavior?

The rudeness was in not obeying your mother. It made her look bad… and you, too.

When guests are in the house, and a parent requests that their child greet these guests, and the child responds with, “I’m fine”, then yes, I would consider that rude behavior.

Let’s say that you arranged to bring a friend or love interest home to meet your mother. If you said, “Mom, come meet ___”, and she responded with “I’m fine” and stayed at task with whatever she was doing, how would this make you feel?

I don’t have to obey someone just because they gave me birth and money for education, food and clothing, and love. I give them my appreciation and love, and I also take their advice, but I won’t obey them. Nobody should obey anyone unless it leads to their goal in life.

Pied, you’re right! I do feel bad now. Although even my parents didn’t know them, they were just looking at our house to buy. I was simply sitting in my room when they opened my door, and I did say hi and smiled… Is it still rude, or do I pass?

If you said ‘hi’ and smiled, then yes, you get a pass. :)

While I understand your viewpoint, a life lesson that you may eventually learn is that people can be quick to judge on first impressions. Displaying disrespect for a parental figure or supervisor without knowing the background of either party can negatively impact their immediate assessment. In a case where a potential sale is involved, this simple act can lose business.

Seems mildly rude to me.

Those are good explanations, @Pied_Pfeffer. GAs on both for that reason.

However, a child shouldn’t be performing these kinds of calculations regarding “who do I have to obey, and when, and how much?” The point is, Mom’s the parent and it’s her house. On both of those accounts, obedience (to normal, safe, legal commands that can be obeyed) is “normal”.

Unfortunately, disobedience, sort-of-obedience-to-a-degree-that-I-calculate-I-can-get-away-with is “common”. When the OP is more mature and understands how I’m using the word “common”, then she’ll understand why it’s rude.

You’re right. Me and my parents are like best friends. Nothing formal, etc. But I totally can see how someone looking from outside can see the situation…

Cwotus, my bad. I thought you were talking about obedience in a slightly different way.

S’okay, @minnie19. I don’t take most disagreement personally anyway, and I didn’t think you were a bad kid before. Now I see that you’re a good kid. Keep at it.

If you had done exactly what you did and instead of “I’m fine” had said, “Excuse me, I’m a bit busy with something”, that would have been even better. There are times in life that we simply have to pretend or go by someone’s rules/instructions whether we agree or not. It starts with little things like that. I know you did not do anything wrong, you should just have handled it a bit more diplomatically, that’s all! It all boils down to experience. Nice to see you are questioning your behavior!

It comes off as rude to me. Even if you didn’t know those people, it’s polite to get up and meet them. It probably embarrased your parents that you were so indifferent.

I would say you were not dreadfully rude, no. But mildly rude , yes.
I feel certain that next time you’ll be wonderful.

I think it was too much for your mother to ask you to come over, but since she did, you probably should have done it.

I would hope that you would greet everyone that comes into your house without being told, regardless of why they’re there.

Sometimes being polite is a pain, but it pays off in general. Makes it easier to get along. You were mildly impolite, but it was bigger than that in your mother’s eye. Be gracious . Apologize and say it won’t happen again.

Pssh. The fact that you are even worrying about this says to me you weren’t trying to be rude. And even if those people thought it was rude, oh well. You are never going to see them again.

When I rent a place, I take everything into account. You can always find a nice place to rent but you don’t always find good landlords. Your ungracious behavior would give me the impression that your parents are maybe, not what they seem (family often reflects on the parents), so I should look elsewhere. This may be no real reflection on the type of people your parents are but you only get a few minutes in which to conclude what kind of people they are, and you made your mom look poorly.
I would get the impression that you may not be comfortable at the idea of leaving your home or maybe uncomfortable at my renting your home. So it would make me wonder if perhaps your parents feel the same way.

If I was those people, I’d think you were just another disrespectful child who wouldn’t do an easy thing just because someone told you to do it. It’s just kind of childish.

I think whether or not you are ever going to see them again is besides the point. That has nothing to do with courtesy to other people.

It looked rude. At the very least it made you look like a normal, sulky, moody teenager. (If you are not a teenager, it just made you look sulky, and moody.)
Image how positive the impression would have been if you had smiled, stood up walked over and said “Hi”, like you meant it.
Your answer was perfectly appropriate if someone was offering you tea. It costs nothing to be polite.

You never get a second chance at making a good first impression. Learn from this.
Take a look at the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell – or at least read the description I have attached.
It will help you in later life, too.

Just imagine what the world would be like (improved, I mean) if teenagers everywhere knew about Fluther and would ask, as @minnie19 has, “Why do my parents make me do these stupid things with no explanation?” ... and could have fifty or more intelligent, reasoned and patient explanations (or searched for the same thing and found the last fifty or so times this was done) and could realize, “Oh, there WAS a reason for that, and it wasn’t necessarily arbitrary and stupid” or even, “Well, it WAS arbitrary and stupid, and not just my imagination, but all I have to do is get through it for a little while longer, and then I get to make more of my own rules.”

Ah, well. It’s fun to dream sometimes.

I don’t consider it rude at all. You acknowledged their presence and that was enough. I don’t buy into extremes of social protocol even though I am a very friendly personality.
A friend of mine felt her 18 yr. old daughter was being rude by rushing out of her bedroom one evening to show her mom a necklace she wanted to order to go with her prom dress and did not include the moms boyfriend.

My opinion was that it was not rude, the girl was just caught up in the moment and didn’t think to share her find with the boyfriend.
As long as you acknowledged the people it is your mothers issue that you did not act as she would have desired, oh well, that’s her problem, and not a reflection on you at all, only on her egos need to have you behave in a certain way to make her look good.

Trying to dictate and manage other peoples expressions to match your own ideals is controlling.

@minnie19 It’s normal. I can kind of see how your mom might find it mildly rude, but really, if someone is really that upset about this kind of minor behavior, they’re going to be a pain to be around. It’s also rude to micro-manage someone else’s every move. (And normal and rude aren’t mutually exclusive).

@CWOTUS Isn’t it kind of rude to talk down to someone (When the OP is more mature and understands how I’m using the word “common”, then she’ll understand why it’s rude) when you could simply rephrase, use the word “classless”, and have a conversation with her and not at her?

I wouldn’t be caught dead acting as if I were a mere common person. But then, I’m uncommonly rude.

Yeah, @Aethelflaed, that part about me not taking disagreement personally is more of a goal than actual practice. I do the best I can, and in that direction when I can manage it. When it seemed that my original response was dissed, I ‘kind of’ got my back up. @minnie19 and I have worked that out, and we’re cool now. Obviously, if you parse exactly what I wrote there, I wasn’t talking “to” or “at” @minnie19, but “about” her (for posterity, anyone else in the thread, and anyone who finds it later). But we’re on the same wavelength now, anyway. Thanks for noticing.

I still stand by the old school model that when your parent respectfully requests something non-extraordinary (especially in front of company, and most especially in front of strangers) that it’s a sign of good breeding, and in that sense good manners, to respond as quickly and cheerfully as possible. Ignoring a parent’s reasonable response is more or less rude, depending on the tone of the request, the request itself, what else is going on, etc. I don’t think kids should be expected to move on a dime every time, but their upbringing should be such that the default position would be to do that when possible. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Wow thanks everyone. Cwotus, aethel, coloma, luckyguy and others (sorry I am currently on phone and can’t type in all usernames above) . Much appreciated wise answers thank you!

Different point of views from different people are so interesting to hear.

Funny part is, I would have probably stood up and greeted them from a closer view (haha) but I was in a disturbed position and my foot was numb… I know, you all will be smiling now :D… Life!!!