To me, “trust” does not mean someone will do what they say. It means I can predict how they will behave. I can trust someone who lies if I know they lie. I can trust someone who rarely follows through on what they say if I know they rarely do that.
A benign example of that is when you have friends who are never on time. You know they are never on time. You know that when they say they will be there at such and such a time, they will really be there half an hour to an hour later. You can trust them, because they are consistent or relatively consistent. You don’t trust their word, but you trust them.
As @Bill1939 said, this comes from arms reduction talks in the Reagan era. We needed to trust our negotiation partners, but we needed to make sure we could trust them. So we had to verify that they did what they said they did.
This is no different from any relationship. You take your friend’s word, but you also check to make sure they did what they said they did. You just do. Anything else would be foolish, as far as I’m concerned.
I’m sure most people do this with their spouses. You spouse says they will do something. Later on, you verify it. “Did you go to the store?” Or you look in the cabinet to see if the corn flakes are there. That’s verification. It is a benign thing. It does not mean you don’t take a person at their word. It means you understand human nature and you are just checking.
If someone has a problem with you checking on them, then they have trust issues. If you have a problem being checked up on, then I would say you are the one with trust issues. Trust only works if we verify that people are doing what they say they do. It only works if people make sure that your word is accurate. They need to know exactly how accurate it is. That way, they know exactly how to understand you, and that’s what you want.
It doesn’t matter if you are 100% accurate or 50% accurate. If they know how accurate you are, they can trust you. But if you expect them to take you for being 100% accurate without checking on you, then you are a con man, and if they take you up on that, they are a fool.