What rules or expectations are reasonable to put on a teenage driver?

Expectations the same as that of the Department of Motor Vehicles. He passes the test, he drives like a careful adult.

Usage is up to you both. Who pays for gas and how often? Who pays for the repair if who drives onto the curb or over sharp rocks at 50 mph?

How I do not envy you. Just thinking about the early days when my son got his license makes me break out in hives.

Start conservatively and see how things go.

The prime directives are seat belts for everyone in the car, with NO exceptions, no booze or drugs, ever, and no texting or phoning while the car is in motion.

Have him sign the “contract” that if he is ever in a position to not be fit to drive that he will call you and you will get him and no questions asked.

Also, the phone goes in the glove compartment at all times while the engine is running.

Let me know how it goes, my son is taking driver’s ed as soon as he gets back from scout camp.

@Hawaii_Jake I really would emphasize what Gail said in her last sentence. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for seatbelts. Also maybe limit the number of people they can have in the car. I don’t want to be in your shoes either. I was a holy terror when I started driving. I used to love seeing what I could make the car do.

A crash helmet definitely. Its a law in my state minors wear helmets on bicycles. Why not cars. Riding in a car is the most dangerous thing we do. Plus it would give cops another reason to fuck with kids.

Same as adults. No drinking and driving. No sleepy driving! Follow traffic laws. Signal. Wear a seatbelt. Call you if ever they feel unable to safely drive.

I think children should be informed that they do not have different rules than adults, we are not trying to control them because they are young, we are expecting what we expect of ourselves.

We required each of the prospective drivers in our house to be able to afford their own insurance before they were allowed to have a license. None of them drove before the age of 18, other than a permit that required an adult, licensed driver with them.

@Hawaii_Jake: And some advice for you. Dust off your yoga, tai chi, and meditation techniques. There is nothing more terrifying than waiting at home, in bed, tense as a plank, for the sound of the car pulling into the driveway.

@Adirondackwannabe My state limits the people you can have in the car, at what times you can drive, blah blah blah. I am so happy I am not that age now.

Remember that driving is a privilege. The teen should earn the right, by being a good driver, to use your car. When I started driving, all I had to do was ask if I could use the car, and it was yes or no. They had to know where I was going and when I planned to be back. Though the car sharing did not last long and I got my own car.

I used to require that my son be home before dark unless Momma or I were with him.

What was the rule for what seemed all my friends and me too was that we’d buy our own gas and pay for our car insurance. That seems fair to me but I don’t know any parents now though who do that now. What I see a lot is kids expecting parents to not only buy a car but to pay for all the upkeep and to also clean up the costs of wrecks and insurance increases.

My parents bought me a car, used car, and had no expectations of me paying for anything. I did work off and on, and so paid for some of my gas without them asking me to, but never paid for insurance. When I was living out of state in college I didn’t pay for anything. I am not saying this is the right way, but I will say this, my parents were very glad not to have to drive me places, and sometimes I even did them “favors.” I also took my sister places sometimes. Most of my peers, although nervous about their children driving, are very happy they don’t have to be their chaffeur anymore. Gas costs the same whether in the parents car or the kids.

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Statistically? Don’t let the 16 year old drive on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday, take his or her cell phone away before you allow them to drive the car and let your 16 year old know, somehow, that while you certainly don’t approve of underage drinking or drug use, if it comes down to it, them drinking and driving, you would prefer them to call you and have you give them a ride home

The latter, well all of it, is really, really hard to do, but those things are what kill 16 year old drivers and keeping them alive is what really matters, most of all.

As a father myself I require that all of my teens learn first by example as their mother rides with them as shaperone and teacher until they are ready for their DMV test and responsable for their own automobile .