What if there really was such a thing as Christian science?

Wow… Just continue for another 200 pages and start your own religion.

Your belief structure and theory are no less and no more valid than anyone else’s.

I personally think that atomic particles do not have moral characteristics, any more than grain of sand is “good” or “bad”. But if labeling atomic particles in a theological framework twists your trigger, then who am I to criticize you?

Keep in mind that lasers (which you would use to smite the bad particles) can do enormous damage if aimed at the wrong target. Remember that religion can be helpful, but can also be destructive.

To Christian Scientists, there is.

To label your “theory” science shows a misunderstanding of what science is.

Wow.

I have trouble with the whole concept of good and evil to begin with, so your hypothesis certainly would not work for me. But, I am sure there are some people who would buy into it.

It is religion misappropriating scientific terminology to create the pretense of validity with the purpose of spreading its religious dogma and infecting more victims to become followers.

Is anybody seeing this in the humorous way that it was intended? I am trying to poke some gentle fun at both religion and science and New Age interpretations. @marinelife , I can just as easily imagine goodness subatomic particles as I can imagine gravity particles, which is to say, not at all.

^^< I was about to agree with you when I realized you were not talking about gravy particles, (known as lumps in my house).

What?

Will followers have to pay a supreme entity to get the laser directed at the particular points of interest?
If the laser focusing/control position is open, I’ll do it for the same fee the radiology department charges for Proton Beam treatment for prostate cancer. $80,000 -$100,000.
Coincidentally, quite bit of praying goes on in that room too.

How do you spell a sarcastic snort?

@LostInParadise Perhaps we all have our serious hats on this morning. Sillier propositions have been made in all sincerity. But don’t stop thinking this way. We’ll catch on in time and enjoy playing with your ideas too.

Please. =_=
Aren’t you just rephrasing the same tired old ideas in (pseudo)scientific wording?
I advise against name-dropping real scientific terminology to describe ideas that you’re not even imagining in as much detail as the scientists understand what they use those words for. You’ll only bring more confusion into the world.

Oh, wait, it’s a joke. Ha ha.

Sorry, @LostInParadise, but it looks like your joke thread is falling prey to Poe’s Law.
In my opinion, it comes too close to what some rather disturbing people are actually willing to proselytise, to really be funny.

Science is not a list of facts, it is the use of the scientific method. The OP’s ideas cannot be called science until there is experimental data that supports the existence of the “Jesus laser beam”.

As a member of the Church of Hadron I don’t think this is funny. We have constructed the largest church building in the history of the world around our altar which is a particle accelerator. Our worshippers pray they may find the God particle and so prove that we are the one true religion. And we are planning to destroy evil and Satan with a proton beam collider.

What if??? What are you talking about? Christian science is alive and kicking and a hell of a lot more famous than your sorry ass! And your little homily there about Jesus particles and Devil particles is so laughable I don’t know why people take it seriously. Where did we go wrong?

Well, I suppose it didn’t help that we are a secret society that no one has ever heard of. People seem to believe that Christianity is hocus pocus, but I assure you that our science is better than anyone else’s science. Perhaps that’s because we kidnap the most promising scientific kids (replacing them with computerized simulacrae—yes, they are that good), and set them to work down here in our underground labs. The Heuristic Encyclopedic Logarithmic Leviathan is a dedicated supercomputer that is fast zeroing in on the meaning of life, the universe and everything. Also the unified field theory. But that’s just a side project.

Of course, the kernel of the Heuristic Encyclopedic Logarithmic Leviathan is a tiny piece of semantic wizardry that we call the Helical Advice Visage of the Entire Noosphere. That pretty little piece of sapphic sophistry makes it clear why Christian science is about to blow the top of all your puny little skulls.

And why did we have a noted atheist (well, he told us he was noted) announce our little coup d’essence? The jokes on you, kidlings! You won’t believe it’s real, and then, when you find out, it’ll be too late!

Repent!

Believe!

Never forget that heaven lies at the heart of hell!

It would undermine world peace.

The good thing about science is its universality. All scientists are united sharing a common goal. We can search for the theories that best explain and predict natural phenomena.

I total reject the notion of Christian science or Islamic science, the latter being a huge delusional pseudoscience movement btw with the Quran allegedly making “accurate predictions” of science. The same applies to atheism. There is no such thing as an atheist evolution theory. There is only one theory of evolution and it can best explain the history of life, current life and predict future life.

Now if this meant as a joke, I’d say it’s the Higgs fields that gives Catholics their mass.