Circumcised men: do you wish your parents had not circumcised you?

I do wish my parents had not circumcised me.

I find that area and the remaining skin to be extremely sensitive and easily aggravated. In general this isn’t an issue, even during sex, but can become one, especially during certain foreplay acts. The reason being that the are is the frennulum (spelling?) which is the male equivalent of the clitoris (largest amount of nerve endings in body/penis). Obviously a part you would want played with, but now it can become painful after some use.

There is also a tiny hole in the remaining skin, which thankfully has caused no issues thus far. But I have had a fear since childhood of something getting caught in it.

Most importantly, my family isn’t even that religious, let alone Jewish or Muslim. If they opted to do it for the supposed health/sanitary reasons (that I know are complete BS), then I still wish they had let me decide for myself when I reached an appropriate age.

I grew up where it was the norm and the uncircumcised were sometimes made fun of (teenage locker rooms, meh).

I don’t know any different, but it doesn’t bother me; no negative effects.

I’ve been told that I would be more sensitive if I still had my foreskin (this is anecdotal from men who were circumcised as adults and were able to relate their experiences before and after). I’ve also heard that there is no conclusive scientific evidence to support this claim. I don’t know what the truth of this is because I was never given the opportunity to experience sex as an uncircumcised man and I’ve not read the scientific literature on the subject.

I do think it sends a message that there is something fundamentally wrong with our penises as they exist naturally, that we’re all somehow “broken” at birth and need to be “fixed.”

@DrBill My apologies, I thought you were saying you were not circumcised, but I see on a different Q you were. I was searching for the answer from a jelly who had to get circumcised for medical reasons that I was going to PM to you.

I will answer for Alex who doesn’t come around anymore. He is angry that his parents did circumcise him.

I like that I am smegma-free, but I’d really like knowing if sex is that much better or not. The problem with the turtle vs anteater question is that it’s way too late for us to answer that question.

Not happy that my parents did this to me.

Did not have my sons cut.

@JLeslie: “Even if you would have preferred not to be circumcised, do you feel you have suffered any trauma because you were circumcised? Any negative effects?”

I don’t know, to be honest. I have no idea what my experience with my body would be (sensation, etc) if I had not been cut. Thing is – I didn’t make the decision, and I am a bit angry about that.

No. I have never wished that. And never thought it was problem. There seems to be quite a bit of circumcision buzz on this site lately. What’s up with that?

It’s simple to determine the difference in sensitivity between circumcised and uncircumcised:

1. Have an uncircumcised man pull the foreskin back and leave it there.
2. Have him wear his underwear normally.
3. Watch him start to get crazy uncomfortable after exposure to chafing against the underwear after just a few moments.
4. Extrapolate to how sensitivity would come into play in a hospitable, warm and moist environment when fully erect, skin taut, and nerve endings eager for stimulation.

—

And staying “smegma free” while uncircumcised is so trivial as to not bear mentioning. There really is no hygiene issue to discuss there for 99+% of uncircumcised men.

I’m apathetic and don’t understand what the big deal is. My wang is still sensitive, because I can’t last long in the sack sometimes : (

@Blackberry, indeed. If you were uncircumcised, it might possibly be even more difficult for you.

I’m not an advocate for getting it done. However, I’m not on a crusade to eradicate it either. Seems like it’s something guys are able to deal with fine either way, without any kind of significant physical or psychological trauma.

I do think that female circumcision is absolutely atrocious and reprehensible, though.

@tedd, for you, yes. And even for me.

But there have been untold millions – maybe billions – of guys who have been circumcised as infants and who wouldn’t complain. Who, in fact, have and would opt for the same for their own children.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s simply not that bad and evil. There are no statistically significant negative effects. And arguably some benefits even.

I say that there are bigger fish to fry. We should focus our collective outrage elsewhere.

@robmandu: “I say that there are bigger fish to fry. We should focus our collective outrage elsewhere.”

I think I get your “moderate” stance here, but the fish fry thing might come off to some of us as infuriating. You could use that logic to encourage any kind of passivity or apathy concerning any issue.

Some of us know where to focus our outrage when it comes to our own bodies’ mutilation (or “improvement” if you choose). More importantly, I can fry this small fish today and have plenty of time and energy to fry bigger fish tonight.

I make a practice of worrying about things that I have some control over. I was a day or two old when they circumcised me; was given no choice in the matter.

Since there’s nothing I can do 55+ years later, I don’t give it moment’s thought.

@tom_g, that’s fine. It’s free country. Knock yourself out. I like a good fish fry, too… but don’t be surprised if attendance is low due to lack of perceived real damage.

@tedd, try telling @Blackberry that there are no benefits.

And you should acknowledge that these particular “religious crazies” date back over 4,000 years if you’re talking about Judaism – not just “100 or 200 years”.

Just because I don’t agree with something doesn’t mean I cannot try to see the other guy’s side of it. And in this case, we’re talking about a safe, accepted practice that pre-dates several iterations of human society.

@robmandu The prevalence of circumcision in the United States among non Jewish/Muslim citizens was brought about 100–200 years ago, by a religious movement that pushed the idea of circumcising young men/boys/infants as a means to prevent them from committing the horrendous sin of masturbation, which they reasoned would lead to even worse sins.

That was the reasoning for my 100–200 year number. Obviously the act of circumcision has been going on for thousands of years… but frankly I think that just furthers my point. How many traditions from thousands of years ago are we still doing today? When’s the last time you sacrificed a lamb with the hopes of getting it to rain?

And if you’d like me to point out the errors in whatever logic @blackberry has to justify circumcision, you’ll have to have him tell me what he’s heard first. His post thus far in this thread doesn’t seem to indicate he has any belief in benefits, but rather that he is apathetic about the issue.

I can’t work up any angst about this. And I had it done to my son, as well. It’s just not a big deal.

Sexually, if I was any more sensitive than I am, I think my mind would explode. Oh wait. It is my mind that is exploding. I think people forget that it is not really what is happening in the penis that counts. It’s what goes on in the brain that really determines pleasure and everything else.

I think people are angry who have need to be angry. That could be any number of reasons. The rest of us are so beyond that it’s pretty much an academic issue. I know for me, it doesn’t bear thinking about.

@Blackberry I actually have the opposite problem. I have a hard time climaxing when I’m having intercourse with a woman (no problems at all getting/maintaining an erection). I can get very close, but have a really difficult time getting that last 3% of the way there—It’s not impossible for me, but very rare that it actually happens (maybe a few times/year). I have no issues when masturbating, and it’s a little easier to climax from receiving oral, but it still takes me a long time.

Most of my guy friends think this is awesome that I can last “forever”, but it really can be frustrating as hell, and has lead to a lot of stress in past relationships (girlfriends feel inadequate no matter how much I reassure them etc.). I suspect it’s all or mostly in my head, and that it’s a bit of a psychological vicious cycle where anxiety causes the problems which lead to more anxiety etc.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if I wouldn’t have this problem if I hadn’t been circumcised (but there really is no way to know for sure). I know my situation is very unusual, with most guys having the opposite problem . There’s really not much information out there about Male Orgasmic Disorder. I know I should seek treatment at some point, but it feels weird calling up numbers in the phone book looking for PhD’s who specialize in Sex Therapy. I’ve seen a mental health professional for depression at one point, and that wasn’t a big deal to me, but sex-therapy seems like a whole different universe (and really what kind of person chooses to be a sex therapist)?

My BF is circumsized and I like it. It looks good and he lasts longer in the sack.

I don’t really get the better sex/worse sex argument. I’ve had sex with both circumsised and non-circumsized men and the foreskin is fully retracted during erection so what would be the difference?

@gorillapaws SRIs will do that to you

@janbb Apparently the difference is that in the uncircumsized, the penis is always protected, while in the circumsized, it isn’t protected. So it is basically exposed all day. It’s like having a clit be exposed without the labia to cover it. People say that eventually, sensitivity decreases. But how true is that, I don’t know. My BF still is very virile; the only difference is that he can last up to 45 minutes in the sack which is effing STELLAR.

@josie this has been going on my entire life ever since I became sexually active, and that was well before I went through a spell of depression. I’ve been off of meds (and depression free) for several years now, and the problem still persists.

@janbb I think the point is that an uncircumcised penis isn’t able to experience rubbing of the frenulum from incidental friction with the underwear during normal daily activities. In a circumcised man, this happens all of the time and our brains have learned to dial down that sensation so we’re not walking around with erections all day. At least that’s my understanding of the hypothesis. I’ve been told that there’s no scientific proof this actually happens though.

My boyfriend is also circumsized and it doesn’t bother him.

Man, I can’t believe you’re asking this question after the nosebleed from yesterday! You have more cajones than I do.

In answer, I never thought about it. It’s all part of being Jewish so they not having me circumcised would have never been an option. And I’m proud of being Jewish. That’s not to say that I’m proud of my penis (although it is a very nice penis), but it comes with the package of being Jewish.

Oh, and if I were to have a son, which I’m not (it would take a miracle from the God I don’t believe in), I would have him circumcised in a formal Brit ceremony.

And no, no negative effects whatsoever.

All the men in my family in every generation have had it done to themselves and to their sons, and I’ve never heard any complaints about it.

I’m fine with it, and I have no recollection of the procedure. My boy is the same way. I can’t believe there are actually males who lament the decision long after the fact as if it was some horrific loss. If ever there was a definition of emo this would be it.

I’m glad I was circumcised and if I ever have a son I will have him circumcised as well. I do believe there are significant health benefits that greatly outweigh any negative effects.

Nope! Not for a second!
(Looking skyward) Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Dad!

From what I’ve heard, it’s only some American women that find uncircumcised Johnsons “gross” looking. An uncircumcised wang is natural. I have no problem with how they look, and no one seems to care either way except immature women.

So, to all the men who say they wish their parents hadn’t done it – do you feel traumatized by it? Has it or did it become a big problem in your relationship with your parents? Do you see your parents as abusive for doing this?

I think uncircumcised look better and feel better too. I’ve of course had both and I’ll take uncircumcised any time of the day. Circumcised look and feel weird to me. Why mess with nature? If the criteria is cleanliness then we women should have a lot removed!

Are you glad your parents did it? Yes. Neutral? No.

Will you/have you circumcised your sons? I would leave that decision up to them, but I’m still glad that I got circumsized after birth.

Even if you would have preferred not to be circumcised, do you feel you have suffered any trauma because you were circumcised? I can’t honestly answer that.

@Aethelflaed: “So, to all the men who say they wish their parents hadn’t done it – do you feel traumatized by it? Has it or did it become a big problem in your relationship with your parents? Do you see your parents as abusive for doing this?”

No, no, and no. They weren’t a abusive – just ignorant. I could argue that the system is abusive, but not my parents. Neither went to college and they were only 21 when they had me. Plus, it was a different time.

I think it’s wonderful that I have my foreskin. It’s a natural part of me.

When our son was born in the US (when we attended graduate school), both my wife and I were shocked that one of the nurses asked us about arranging the circumcision. We would have expected that the parents take the initiative asking to get it, instead of being forced to say no. It was then that we actually learned that the vast majority of Americans were doing this. We hadn’t been aware of this.

@mattbrowne The tide seems to have changed and it is now about 50/50 but it was standard practice for many years. A difference from Europe where it has not been.

I don’t mind in the least. I understand and agree with the motivation.

@janbb – A good sign. I don’t believe in forms of religions that exclude people because they keep their foreskin, or because they are divorced, or because they are gay.

@mattbrowne i didn’t mean that the religion was changing; I meant that US secular medical practices and popular attitudes were changing.

@mattbrowne The rates are definitely going down in the US. It is about 50% done at the hospital now, so another itty bit probably done outside of hospitals, since the religions who do it outside are such small percentages, a couple percentage points, of the US population. When my girlfriend’s had their sons 10–20 years ago the doctor just asked if they wanted to circumcise the babies, there was no pressure, just a routine question for male births. It is the majority of the time not done for religious purposes here. Jews are only just over 2% of our population, and Muslims somewhere around the same, although sometimes I see numbers slightly higher.

From what I understand, and people can correct me if I am wrong, back in the day medicaid covered it, and then a while back they discontinued covering it, so that might account also for some of the decrease in circumcision and also perhaps why minorities are less often circumcised in the US, although I think part of that is cultural also.

Correct. Medicaid doesn’t covet any more unless there is a medical indication like phimosis.

OP (I haven’t read the entire thread): I was born at a time when circumcision was routine. I’m neutral about it, since it did not result in any trauma that I’m aware of and I don’t what it’s like to be uncut. I would lean against circumcising my sons if I had any, since the non-religious rationale for it back when I was cut seems to be bogus, and I would prefer to avoid any unnecessary surgery. I gather that there is now an anti-AIDS rationale for it, but I would hope that my sons would avoid high risk activities, and if they do engage in those activities, then they can always get themselves cut if they want.

Or to put it more concisely: [shrug]

Thanks everyone.

@Aethelflaed Thanks for asking the specific question about if the man feels abused. That is part of what I meant by trauma, along with any physical difficulties a man might be having that he attributed to the circumcision. I personally don’t believe the information about baby boys losing trust in their parents, feeling abused, or severly traumatized when circumcised as an infant a few days old. My personal opinion is shrinks who might be pursuing that line, if any are, are destructive. I think the only way a man is going to come up with not trusting people and anger issues caused by being circumcised as a baby is if someone put the idea in his head. In America for years you were the odd man out if you were not circumcised. Probably taking a shower in the locker room in jr high years ago was more worrisome for the uncircumcised kid. I do think if men have some sort of sexual dysfunction or discomfort that might be connected to the circumcision that it is perfectly reasonible for it to be emotionally difficult to have to deal with, that makes sense to me.

Are you glad your parents did it? NO! Neutral? NO! Angry? YES!

Will you/have you circumcised your sons? Hell no, I will not allow my daughter or son to be mutilated!

Even if you would have preferred not to be circumcised, do you feel you have suffered any trauma because you were circumcised? YES! Any negative effects? Yes, it’s mutilation and it is wrong! It would not be right for to do this to a boy or girl! How could a parent allow something like this to be done, let alone ask someone to do it to their child – Boy or Girl! Read about the risk of doing this! I do not no think it is worth the risk at all! Even if the odds of something going wrong is 1 in 1,ooo,ooo what if that 1 is your son? Take the time to find out the risk!

I wish I was uncircumcised the foreskin is there for a reason no way should it be removed by force and not only the pain the baby feels is overwhelming if you are having a baby and its a boy say no to circumcision save your baby from needless pain I sure wish my Mother did not have me circumcised ..

Never thought about it too much most of my life, but I am happy it was done.