Why in the world would any one feel it's OK to use cuss words when having a casual, non-confrontational conversation with a complete stranger?

Some people think that this kind of language is the way everyone would talk if they just were free enough to. They don’t adhere to anyone else’s do’s and don’t’s. “Nobody’s gonna tell me how I ought to talk.”

My daughter-in-law thinks no one has the right to tell her what to say or how to say it. She even cussed in the parking lot at Chuck E Cheese in front of a dozen birthday preschoolers. She has no sense of courtesy or good taste whatsoever.

Habit.

She just has a potty mouth. She doesn’t even hear the words. Too bad, because people judge her for it.

it has been my belief that cursing is an undeveloped mind trying desperately to express itself,

@DrBill…with a severely limited vocabulary!

@ccrow…..Agreed

A lot of people today believe that is is not only OK, but expected and mandatory for them to say whatever pops into their mind, either out loud or on Facebook, no matter who their audience is.

They think that their “personal freedom” (yes we do have freedom of speech in the U.S.) is the only thing that is important, and they disregard the fact that along with freedom comes responsibility. Part of one’s verbal responsibility (which brings politeness, compassion and manners into the mix) IMO is to take into account your audience and change your language if need be.

I would hope that people (even those with strong opinions) could learn how to “tame” or “manage” their speech when they are talking to children, people of other faiths or ideologies, nuns and monks, grandparents, their boss, the Queen of England or The President of the United States or any other similar persons, their children’s teacher, mixed company, before Congress or a judge or a police officer etc. As opposed to a close friend in a locker room.

Hopefully most people can figure out that what you say (and the language you use) to an audience during a stand up night club comedy routine at a bar probably isn’t the best way to speak to certain other groups. You gotta know your audience. Even Michael Richards knows that now.

Apparently Mel Gibson still hasn’t figured it out : (

Some people have no manners and don’t consider the people around them. They just go about their business selfishly. I was Christmas shopping for my daughter last year and their was a couple in the toy aisle next to the aisle I was in. Every other sentence included the F-bomb and it made me so upset. If my daughter would have been with me or other children in the area I probably would have said something. You almost have to be careful these days though because you never know how someone like that will react if you say something to them.

It’s just a part of some people’s vocabulary. It’s a part of mine. I feel people should keep cursing within personal settings. I hate hearing people curse while at work because, like you posted, customers hear.

Because I don’t care about you. But for the most part it is how I talk and I don’t really give a shit if it offends you. The odds are pretty good your shitty perfume offends me more.

I do apologize if I notice kids are around.

Because its really not a big fuckin deal. Its just a word.

@Kardamom: Addressing Sen. Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor, Vice President Dick Cheney responded to Leahy’s remarks with this repartee : “go fuck yourself.” I certainly wouldn’t use vulgar language in conversation with any such lofty cocksuckers.

“Fuckin’ asshole” is probably tops the list of endearments used by our sweet children in conversation with their peers.

@uberbatman Why do people who use vulgar language keep saying “It’s just a word”? If that were true, then any word would do, and there would be no need/desire to chose the most vulgar one.

In my experience, only old biddies and prudes care is someone cusses.

I’d say my vocabulary is better than average. But sometimes a cuss word just does the trick.

Not in front of kids, but vulgar has its place. Cussing isn’t always about confrontation. There’s color to it.

Is it 1926?

@tinyfaery I doubt that cussing has come into common usage in church, and I don’t hear much of it in banks or courthouses or most other government buildings. Most of the television shows I watch don’t contain cussing.

Conditioning by permanent exposure. Some people don’t even notice using cuss words all the time.

1) For a lot of people, the words of have lost their bite. Its a cultural thing based on where you grow up. Even people who grow up in different parts of the same country/state/city/etc… can get different exposures. If you grow up in a household where swearing is common, its hard to see why people would care. (Interestingly enough, I’ve given to understand that in the US, after Vietnam, a lot of soldiers came back and swore and lot and this has desensitized us to it).

2) I guess for me, the question is: why does it bother you? For the most part, if there isn’t a good reason for something to bother someone, I tend not to care that it bothers them There are many many exceptions and caveats to that rule, but it forms a good baseline for me.

@YARNLADY If someone really believes its just a word then this word does just fine. For someone who believes that – the swear word and whatever other word you propose are both equally good and the swear word comes out more naturally (again, probably due to exposure). So why not use it? There’s a whole slew of good reasons not to use it, but most of them are based on the (possibly hidden) assumption that the swear word is worse in some way – an assumption that people who believe its just a word don’t share.

For what it’s worth, I do control my language, but more for practical reasons than because I think it should really matter.

Fuck.

It’s probably the same thing that makes people think it’s ok to say racist, homophobic, sexist, and otherwise bigoted stuff in public and in front of kids.

Socio-apathy, probably due to poor parenting combined with decadence. According to Jacques Barzun ( From Dawn to Decadence: 500 Years of Western Cultural Life, 1500 to the Present ), one of many symptoms of a civilization in decline is a coursening of the language.

@roundsquare Because it does. I can blow it off when I’m by myself, but when I have the kids with me I don’t think they need to hear it. It’s offensive and vulgar. Also, to those who say “It’s just a word,” then why did the idiotic woman insist on holding her cell phone up, in the middle of the store, so everyone could hear the “joke”? If all the gal on the phone was going to say is “It is very VERY hot today,” the customer would not have made sure we could all hear it. She wanted us to hear that one special word, “motherfucker.” If it’s “just a word,” and it don’t mean nothing, what made her WANT to do that?

I cuss, by the way. Cuss words are used to emphasize emotion. But it’s not part of my everyday speech, and I won’t talk like that in public or in front of kids. If I was talking to a store employee I’d say, “Do you check these things out before you put them on the floor?” I don’t see how using the word “shit” has any place in the sentence.

Cuss words have a specific purpose…to emphasize emotion and to offend people.

@Dutchess_III Some people just use it to emphasize emotion, not to offend.

I know what you are saying, and I use them to underscore emotion, but very rarely to describe an individual. But how much emotion can there be in asking a clerk, whom you don’t’ even know, “Do you check your shit out before you put it out on the floor?” I could understand if that individual had had a bad experience before…but it didn’t strike me as that. It jarred me when I heard it used so casually the first time, but the second, when she held her cell phone up so everyone could hear “It’s going to be a hot motherfucker today!” just hit me as…crass. Jerk. Tacky.

They dont have to say it but you dont have to take offense.

It wasn’t so much for me personally. It just disgusted me. But when shit like that happens I always immediately think of small children hearing it and that’s when I feel the hackles go up. That is just disgusting, obscene behavior in public.

I’m not against cussing, but I don’t cuss when I’m surrounded by strangers, and certainly not in casual conversation, and I REALLY curb it when kids are around. If I slip, I instantly apologize to the chilluns.

When it comes to complete strangers it does seem inappropriate. Some people are probably so used to being around certain personality types who are inclined to this type of behavior, that it is likely second nature to them. I honestly believe that many people like this don’t even realize that they’re being offensive, or at least inconsiderate.

@Paradox25 Well said. And…the gap between polite and impolite people just keeps growing.

I wish people got just as upset about people who say homophobic/sexist/racist/bigoted shit in front of kids as they do about people who say cuss words in front of kids…

@Aethelflaed The two aren’t comparable in my opinion.“Homophobic/sexist/racist/bigoted shit” is far worse than using words that make other people uncomfortable.

@Facade I totally agree, but damn, if people’s outrage doesn’t suggest dropping the ‘f’ bomb is far, far more damaging to a kid’s psyche than saying, explicitly or implicitly, that they are less than. I’m just saying, maybe, if we had as many people ranting out people who say bigoted stuff in front of kids as we do people ranting out swearing in front of kids, we’d be further along as a society.

I cuss in front of strangers, but not children (except my own, who are now teenagers). I don’t generally cuss at strangers, though. I mean, I wouldn’t do the “hot motherfucker” thing the woman in your example did.

@Aethelflaed Why are you assuming what you are assuming? Why do you think I’d be less upset if the guy had been obviously gay and she’d said, “Hey you faggot, ya’ll check your stuff out before you put it on the floor?” That’s worse than just a cuss word because it’s a direct, personal attack. Why do you assume I wouldn’t be upset about it? I can’t say I’ve ever heard anything like that, but if I do I’ll sure rant about it.

@augustlan Cussing has it’s moments, for sure!