@bernireddick I don’t see any reason for you to move back to NYC and live with your daughter. You say you are making friends and like where you are now. The only negative regarding TX vs had you gone to FL, is the flights are much more expensive, and there is not an easy alternative like an overnight trip on Amtrak (which isn’t bad at all, I have done it from VA on the autotrain). The big plus with the active adult communities, if yours is like many in FL, is they organize activities and many of the places are like living at resorts. Constant vacation. The great thing about NYC is the accomadations for those disabled, and some of the conveniences can be very good. Food delivery from grocery stores and restaurants, tons of public transportation, and a plethora of the arts if you like that sort of thing.
My grandmother moved to NYC in her 70’s from the suburbs and it was great for her. But, she would stay with me in FL usually about 3 weeks in the winter to escape the cold, visit some friends, and be with me. I personally hope to retire to an active adult community in FL (I now live in TN).
As for living with your daughter, whether it be now or in the future, I would assume if she is in NY she is in a smallish apartment, so it can be more cramped than say other parts of the country where people live in larger spaces. I would 100% have my parents or husband’s parents live with us if it were the best solution for everyone, but would never try to force it on my parents or inlaws, it would be am offer. Unless, the demands they pit on me to help them became just too much or unrealistic to help care for them. Still, I would do my best to just move them near me and let them maintain their own home if they preferred.
I have a few friends who have their parents living with them. One set of friends has her mother and his father all in the same house. Neither senior adult lost their independence. They still did everything they wanted, the mom still drove herself everywhere, had her own friends. It definitely can work, but it also can be a difficult situation. Stick to your gut feelings on the matter I think. 65 is very young! You have time to travel, be with friends, relax, take on new interests. I say just visit your daughter twice a year for a few weeks at a time, and they visit you once a year, or all go on a family vacation, and that is plenty.
Is she truly worried about you? Or, does she need your help maybe? Don’t take that the wrong way, I am sure she loves and worries about you, but you mention she has a child, would you living with her be a built in babysitter?