You gotta go where people are and learn to converse with people. But don’t just go anywhere, go and do things that you actually like.
Drinking and bars are not the best place to find a mate (although there’s tons of anecdotal stories about people finding their spouse in there). Bars are not conducive to participating in activities (other than drinking) that are important to you, and they’re often loud, full of other people hittin’ on the ladies (so you gotta compete more) and most people are often drunk and not exactly themselves. Plus the women are dressed up in club clothes (which is sexy and fun to look at) instead of what they are most likely to wear on a regular basis, something you want to know early on.
So get started on your list of 100 activities that you enjoy. Maybe it’s writing, book clubs, photography, hiking, art (looking at it or making it) cooking, eating, micro-breweries, wine tasting, bicycling, roller blading, animals (walking dogs, going to the zoo, volunteering at the local shelter) sewing (a lot of my straight guy friends sew and it’s a real turn-on!) comic books (apparently there’s lots of hot ladies at comic-con) music (listening to it or playing it).
Now, after you have your list, pick up one of your local activities guides. These are usually free and can be an actual guide book, or one of the local free papers that has listings for everything from concerts, to festivals, to outings to classes. Then get out your calendar and start making some plans to do some of these things. Don’t cram too many things in at once, just try a couple of things, and then a few more and then a few more. Decide what you really like to do!
Then, when you get there, don’t just sit there on the sidelines. Walk right up to people, males and females alike, and say something like, “I’ve always wanted to take a Spanish cooking class, have you ever been to this place before?” or “Hey, do you mind if I join your group/table?” or “Wow, this stained glass class looks like it’s going to be fun, I’ve never done it before have you?” or “This forest is so beautiful, I’m from the big city so I don’t have much experience with the great outdoors, I hope I bought the right hiking boots.”
Report back : )