How comfortable were you saying "I love you" after both partners expressed it the first time?

I’m much less comfortable saying it to my fiancee than he is to me :p It must be a girl thing. We’ve been conditioned to wait for the guy to do everything first—make advances, say ‘I love you,’ express his affection, etc…

I find that there a few women who can get into that phase pretty quickly, but sometimes it doesn’t work to their favor. For example, a friend of mine said it so much to her boyfriend that he stopped believing her declarations were sincere.

In all my relationships the boy said I love you too fast. No way it could have been true I don’t think. Meanwhile, I said it back when they first told me. My now husband actually did something very sweet and said in his country they have declaracion, which is when a man declares his love for the woman he is dating. Awwww. Sucked me right in. I would say it took me dating for about half a year to really feel comfortable saying it. In my family we never said it to each other, so mayb that is part of the reason it takes me longer? I say it to my husband all the time.

I don’t say I love you as a regular salutation to my SO. I like to save it for moments where it is more applicable and means more. Saying “Bye, I love you” makes the phrase lose it’s meaning in my view. I also show people I love them more than say it, but let’s say he got a promotion, I would say Congrats, I love you, good job. Or if someone close to him died or was sick, to comfort him I would say I love you, to remind him of the people still around that do love him.

@JLeslie Declarations? That’s so cool. Ya, in my culture my fiancee had to come over with gifts to declare his engagement to me to my parents. LOL. It was an absolute wonderful thing to watch.

@Ponderer983 Oh, interesting, I was not thinking about it like that. At this point, married 19 years, I feel very comfortable saying I love you to my husband, but now that I read your answer I realize I almost never say it when I say good bye to him. I say it at very random moments, many times they are happy ones, when I feel glad to be with him and am enjoying myself. Can be just watching TV and laughing together. Sometimes I say it at more serious moments.

@thesparrow Yeah, but his first language is Spanish, so he used the Spanish word declaración (de-clair-a-see-on) while our conversation was always in English. Very formal. He gets very formal and traditional in times like these, times that are significant events, even now. Awww. Still very sweet.

@JLeslie Ya, with us it’s the opposite.. I’m the cultured and traditional one. :p It can be frustrating though because in my culture you do certain things he needs to learn

I was never comfortable saying it. I always said it to appease the woman, and this is where I went wrong. I’ve definitely learned not to do things to appease others, especially when it makes me uncomfortable.

It makes some women uncomfortable in public. I know that in a public place where people can hear, I feel slightly uncomfortable when my SO says ‘I love you.’ I don’t know why that is.. people just ‘d’awww’ at us all of the time.

With my ex, I would constantly say it with every SINGLE goodbye lol. But with this relationship, it’s more of me wanting to say it at moments when I feel like I want to instead of “good bye I love you.” each time. I’m also still shy at those words. I’ve never said it to family, it’s very very rare.

My husband and I said it very early in our relationship. It just felt right. That was 21 years ago and we haven’t gone a day without saying “I love you”.

I was the first to say it in my relationship. After he returned the feelings, saying it was exciting and comfortable at first; then it was comfortable and just felt good; now, telling him that I love him holds more meaning because of all that we’ve been through together and my increased love and affection for him.

@chelle21689 It’s ok to feel weird about saying “I love you;” it puts you in a vulnerable, yet amazing position. I noticed that you said your family doesn’t show affection in that way; try not to let that stop you from fully experiencing love!

I felt terrible about feeling uncomfortable saying “I love you too” today. I really hope it doesn’t happen again =\

My family never shows affection but we know the support and love is there. I don’t think it excuses that towards relationships though considering how OVER affectionate I was in the last one.

@chelle21689 JSYK, having a family that doesn’t freely say “I love you” can make a person under or overly affectionate. Maybe talk to your bf about it when you’re ready?

@chelle21689 Congratulations! Never say it if you don’t mean it, but if you mean it, say it often, freely. You could even start with telling him the reasons you love him and just start listing them.

I have. He understands. Asking this question has made my mind go into a stream of conscientiousness from what happens if you lose a loved one, how widowers deal with the confusing feelings, etc. Damn I’m depressing, now I’m sitting here scared at the thought of losing people I love and that I would never be the same. Depressing myself here!

Depends on the person. But recently I’ve started seeing someone and he told me first. And I was a little more hesitant about it. But I felt the same way and said it back.

He says it a little more freely then I do. I try to save it for times when I really feel it. I’ve been a lot more hesitant and kinda easing into our relationship at my own pace because I’ve had some troubles with relationships before him so I’m trying not to rush things too much. Like we aren’t officially together yet (even though we basically are) because of my hang-ups. I’m very thankful he’s very understanding of my feelings. Which really just makes me feel stronger about him.

Say it when you feel it. When it means the most. But also, let him know that’s what you’re comfortable doing right now, so he understands you’re not not saying it back sometimes because of something bad. Just that you want to mean it alot more each time you say it.

@chelle21689 Everyone thinks about those things. Just don’t let fear cripple you from enjoying life!

It has always been easy for us after he finally said it for the first time. I know it was difficult for him to say initially but once he had said it there was no stopping him. He tells me all the time now but it always feels so good to hear. I was the one to say it first and it was never difficult for me.

I don’t think that saying I love you a lot weakens the meaning. I especially tell him I love him when I say goodbye because, if anything bad were to happen to me whilst away from him, I would want that to be the last thing he heard from me.

We say it all the time, including with our goodbyes. It was actually a great relief for both of us when we finally started saying it… we’d both been holding back for quite a while, trying like hell not to admit we were in love. Ha.

I was on a date with girl that I had been talking to for only three months and one day she randomly broke out the “L” word. That is not something I say on a regular basis and it was in fact kind of creepy for her to say that….Unfortuneately I was speechless and had to leave the diver we were in because she looked like a lobster.

So update. I feel very comfortable to say it now and want to say it all the time lol honestly it wasn’t until a couple months ago for some reason. I guess I realized how much I miss him when he was gone a few days for work