NSFW - What are minor things about bedroom events that annoy you?

When Milo steals most of the blankets.

Milo here” When Gail gets cranky because she feels I am parked in her spot on the bed; it is the best spot so it clearly belongs to me.

When men keep their socks on during sex. I can’t even begin to tell you how much that peeves me off!

that I haven’t gotten any in a while

When the SO doesn’t empty his pockets before putting clothes in the hamper. I’ve learned to check them though. Otherwise, all is good.

Bedroom events. Hmmm. My greatest bedroom annoyance in a few years now is when one of my pillows bails on me and hides between the bed and the wall.
Ooooooo! Ah HATES when that happens!

Farting

@bolwerk beat me with the farting answer. They are the worst during the winter when the windows are closed. That’s when they can linger for hours.

Snoring!

@gailcalled Serious question: how is it possible for a cat to type that well? I’m skeptical about this and I think it’s you masquerading as your cat.

A minor thing that bothers me is having problems getting started and getting through the initial awkwardness.

Men that take like 3 hours to get off. Too much control is even worse than not enough. lol
Jesus…get OFF me NOW! Talk about overkill, pretty soon I’m looking for patterns on the ceiling and staring at the moth on the wall, rolling my eyes over their shoulder and faking encouragement. haha

@Coloma In a man’s mind, anything is better than watching your eyes roll after we roll off of you 2 minutes later. I would rather see you bored than disappointed, lol.

@Blackberry True, I can see your point. Well..actually I can’t see your point. lolol

Touche, lol.

When you’re doing it doggy style and you really have to fart.

When I have to stifle myself because of jealous neighbors
Losing my balance and messing up an orgasm
Having to stop to change the camera angle…

When I’m convinced that it’s 2:00 AM and the sun comes glaring in between the slats of the mini-blinds. How could it be 6:00 AM? I just got to sleep?

When I have low blood sugar and have to call a time out!
That is what makes me take forever to get off, I swear!

@Ponderer983 : I am kind of phobic of accidentally forgetting to take my socks off before sex. It disturbs me when anyone does that…

Oh, another one I just thought of, when people rip my clothes off like I got that shit for free or something :-p (And yes, that does happen, though it’s been a while, LMAO)

Every once in a while when maybe you haven’t queefed in front of someone and/or it’s your first time sleeping with them and it’s passionate and goin great and there it is, and it can sometimes be mistaken for a fart which, obviously, is generally at least semi-awkward.

I also hate when it’s really good and (usually from behind) some air can become trapped in the vag and it’s kinda uncomfortable but usually not uncomfortable enough to make it a point to bring up and stop everything, queef loudly, and then just go back to work. Ugh.

The rooster’s crowing next door.

The leaf blowers starting at 2:00 AM. Oh, it’s 7:00 AM.

Actually the mocking birds actually do start at 2:00 AM. I thought birds slept at night. I never seem to hear or see them during the daylight hours, only the nasty, giant black crowes. G’aaah! G’aaaah! G’aaaaah! Uhhk Uhhnkk Uhhnk Uhhnk!!!! They’re actually worse than the leaf blowers.

Another thing that’s bad, is when the very occasional non-neighbor, decides to come into our little 2 street with a cul de sac enclave around 3:00 AM and chirp his engine, squeal his tires, have his drunk girlfriend or drunk buddy yell out “Whoooooooo!” or “Eff You!” and then rev his engine, slam on the brakes, and then go around again. Ironically, the “neighborhood watch patrol car” is never around when this happens, but they’re more than happy to give your Aunt Sally a big fat ticket for parking in your own driveway and forgetting to let the patrol know, in advance, that your guest was spending the night.

When you feel a fart brewing just as you’re about to cum.
I mean, throw me a fucking bone here. Wild horses couldn’t pull my arse away from her pussy at the point of ejaculation, but an impending fart & it’s potential consequences (follow through) is just enough distraction to put me off my stroke, pesky bum burps!

The neighbour’s cock, waking my girlfriend every morning.

@deni I hate queefing too! Men never seem to mind…

1. An improperly made bed. Nothing more annoying than besheets on the foot end that aren’t folded and tucked the right way (45 degrees). I have on occasion had to remake hotel room beds, and you would think that they would know.
2. Girlfriend gripes that she does not like the wet spot, which I guess implies that I should take it. Just kidding. Not that annoying. :-)

@Facade Yeah, they don’t really! Like it’s never been a big deal when it happened but I still loathe the thought of it and get nervous lol

@Facade This male child did. : )

My boyfriend says that I am like a bloke because as soon as I cum, I want to go to sleep. I have to stifle an orgasm a lot for fear that I will go off the boil after and I try to wait until my boyfriend is ready to finish up himself before I allow myself to orgasm. I wish I could keep the same level of arousal after orgasm.

@Leanne1986 Nice to know it isn’t just me. I’m so done, what are we draggin’ this out for? Let’s wrap it up!

Whenever the cats decide they want in on some of the actions.

@deni I have queeffing too. The worst is sometimes when I’ve had sex doggie style, a lot of air gets in there, so not only does it happen when he pulls out, but after we are done having sex, my vagina is still releasing some of the air, so if I sit up, it happens. Then it really looks like I just farted, but didn’t. Sigh – being a woman.

@Ponderer983 I know what you mean about releasing air after the sex has finished. The amount of times I have said “that wasn’t a fart!!” to my boyfriend. I am quite relaxed about it now though, it’s funny!

When they make make weird or creepy noises. Blood curdling screams when orgasm, ( especially in close proximity to your head). Farting. eww get away from me Queefing is funny I’ve never been with anybody that minded it all in fact we used to try to stuff air up there just to laugh

Well…all you youngsters, just wait til you’re in your 40’s and 50’s and start fearing the guy is going to just drop dead on top of you. All that heaving and sweating and cardio stress. haha
Of course a woman in her prime is perfectly capable of killing a man of any age during sex. lol

@trailsillustrated Eeee…I think a woman can have an embolism from air being forced into the vagina. Maybe you should research this phenomenon. Not the same as trapped air from action filled moments.

@Coloma oh this was in my youth. haha actually about 7 years ago now I am old. lol

@Coloma: I’ve already lived with that fear, because I’ve dated people in their 40s and 50s, haha…

@bookish1 @bookish1 Haha…my last relationship, the guy scared me, he was in good physical shape outwardly but I swear, I thought he would drop dead under sexual exertion. lol

@Coloma : I guess it would be a good way to go… But it would be embarrassing as all hell for the survivor… O_O

Refresh your memory about Nelson Rockefeller’s death, atop someone who was NOT his wife.

The tactful version, from Wikipedia

”...long-time Rockefeller aide Joe Persico said in the PBS documentary about the Rockefeller family “It became known that he had been alone with a young woman who worked for him, in undeniably intimate circumstances, and in the course of that evening had died from a heart attack.”

The scurrilous, but probably accurate, version here

I read a great book in which the boyfriend (this is an older couple in their late 60’s) has a heart attack and passes out on top of his female companion. Because he’s much bigger and heavier than she is, she has no way to move him off of her (he’s not dead, by the way, just passed out). So ultimately she is able to scooch herself over to where her cell phone is laying and she calls her 3 best friends (also women of a certain age) who come to her rescue and drag old Faraday off of her. They all ultimately call the paramedics who come and collect Faraday, but when he comes to, in the hospital, he is mortified and angry at Marilyn who dared to do something so humiliating to him, even though she had no choice. Even though it sounds very grim, it was a very funny scene in the book. Faraday ends up dumping Marilyn (which sounds so unfair) but because of that, she ultimately finds the love of her life with another man, who not only does not pass out on top of her, he shows her love and sensuality that she never knew existed. Yay!

Got a butt cheek cramp once during sex…..first time ever. didnt know how to get rid of it. other then have my lady ubruptly stop the sexual activity and rub my butt cheek.

@psyonicpanda Once?!? Only once?!?! That happens to me more times than I would like, especially when a guy is going down on me. And unfortunately, I have to stop him, get rid of the cramp, then start up again. Part of life :/

@psyonicpanda : I got my first both-legs nearly-immobilizing cramp during sex last week… It came from drinking too much and being dehydrated. I was in agony but I just rode it out because the sex was too good to stop…

When you need to pee and somehow it doesn’t cross his mind when you tell him. @bookish1 I feel your pain, I get leg cramps quite often too.

^^ Heh..funny, you two, but….have you ever had your bedroom explode in flames during passionate sex? Yep, candles too close to the curtains lends a whole new meaning to c’mon baby light my fire! lol

@Coloma: (O)_(O) Are you seerious? That’s… one of the best stories I’ve ever heard… That is, if everyone escaped unharmed!

@bookish1 Yes it is true! haha
We were in the middle of extreme action when I looked over his shoulder and saw, not only my curtains on fire but the bamboo shelf the candle was on too and a hat that was on the shelf! Quite a combustible moment! lol

@Coloma Well, that’s exactly how you make fire. Ignite a spark through incessantly intense application of friction.

I am prone to charlie horses in the same region of my left leg/hip area, and when I feel it coming on I literally have to shove him off and get into a fetal-like position until the cramp fades. If I don’t do that immediately it can get really bad! Charlie horses suck man. But guys always seem to think its funny. Then we resume.

@Coloma, funny stuff. How about breaking the bed?...damn those wooden beds. Not to mention… it wasnt his.