What is a thing you had to go through that made you realize something life changing?

Divorce. It made me realize that I could be completely and independently responsible for myself, that I could be by myself and have just as much fun, and that I was a worthwhile person. (Marriage was a very bad time for me.)

When a boyfriend of several years broke up with me, it felt devastating. A week later, Dad was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live and told to go home; no treatment was available. He died three weeks later from another complication. As devastating as both of these blows were, they eventually put life’s messiness into perspective. I learned that life is messy, and allowing oneself to wallow in self-pity does no good. It was a valuable life lesson.

The suacide of my first husband. I realized that I had more value than I had given myself credit for and that I could survive anything.

I parrot @syz

Nothing like a divorce to initiate a born again experience. lol

Losing control of my car on a wet road. It made me realize I wasn’t paying attention, and that I was not caring about my own safety, and that that was because I had stopped caring about my life, which eventually got me to figure out that I was in a pattern of choosing to resent my personal and professional relationships instead of choosing what I really wanted and being able to love my life and the people in it.

That we define our life by the decisions we make, both small and trivial.

It’s incredibly pathetic that it took something of this magnitude to bring me this realization, but my compulsive need to achieve was finally brought down a notch by a near death experience.

Don’t wanna sound like a broken record as I’ve already told the story here a few times, but the short version is that I was really ill and had a tube sticking out of my arm and was still trying to get perfect grades in school, despite the fact that I knew stress exacerbated my symptoms. And one day I was feeling really, really rotten and my mom wanted to take me to the hospital, but I had a test that day, and I bullied her into letting me go to school. After the test I came home and we proceeded to the hospital where I promptly went into septic shock and almost died, and almost certainly would have died were I not already at the hospital where I could get immediate attention.

Needless to say I was pretty horrified that I cut it so close on account of my own bad judgement; I could so easily have died at school that day if the infection were just a little farther along. Opened my eyes for sure. I’m not so hardcore about school anymore, haha.

The moment I felt my heart turn over and knew I was going to file for divorce. I remember exactly where I was at the time.

I lost my blood family because they are abusive dicks, and realized that blood family is not as important as chosen family.

Having to give up a career I loved to take care of my youngest daughter when she got really sick

@bookish1 Awww, sweetie. I’ll adopt you.

Being all alone, having to give CPR to my daughter after she drowned, and bring her back, made me realize that I’m not a helpless wimp. Before that, I always panicked and turned to someone else for help with things, because I didn’t think I could do it on my own. After that incident, I became a lot more confident in myself and my ability to handle tough situations.

@bookish1 I’ve already adopted 2 daughters I am sure they could use a big brother if you don’t mind toddlers I can adopt you

Getting custody of my kids. Divorce. Getting sober.

It happens more as you age.

Drinking problems, mostly. Still figurin this shit out. But it certainly is all life changing. :/

@WillWorkForChocolate & @creative1: Wow! Thank you. That means alot. I’ve never received such an offer before!

@Symbeline : I feel ya about that… Best of luck and hugs if you want them.