How do I not die while.....NSFW? (See details)

Try the couch or the floor. Take the beds apart and put yours on the floor too.

Couch is in the living room with people in it. There isn’t room for the mattress on the floor, which is why it’s lofted. :( And that would be too much work anyway. Obviously there are other places to have sex, but my goal is to find a way to not mess up the spontaneity/comfort.

Try to add supports or braces to the loft bed to firm it up so it doesn’t shake so much. I’m sure that years of people doing it on the bed is what contributed to it being shaky and noisy. Take the sheets and mattress off, get some lights underneath and look closely at the bed itself. How is it made? Are any screws or nails sticking out that could use tightening? Look for places you could add some wood or some hardware to tighten it up. Maybe it should be bolted to the wall. Maybe it needs some wooden pieces underneath to make it “stuck” better. Check it out.

The whole unit is shaking because it’s not totally snug with the wall, nor can it be! I’ll see if I can bolt it to the wall though.

@sliceswiththings: Maybe you can put some columns underneath it, to the floor below.

To add support maybe you can add some wood to make a cross between the legs. Does that make sense? I don’t know how to explain it well. Or, even just straight across between the legs. More vertical legs will give more support, but horizontal, or at an angle, will give it more stability. If you bolt it to the wall I would bolt it really really well. Just a few places and you might tear the drywall. LOL.

I think if it feels dangerous it probably is. Trust your gut.

If you bolt it to the wall, it has to go into the studs (wood studs behind the wall), not just into plaster/sheet rock.

Why can’t it be bolted to the wall?

I agree you need to fortify the furniture, but not sure I’d advocate fastening it to the wall.
While it will stabilize your activity, joining the piece to the wall might transmit sounds into the whole wall (and the other side) like a big drum, unless it is an unusually strong or sound-proofed wall.

Take a look at every place where the parts of that loft frame are joined and add a block of wood and screws through both/all joining parts into the block of wood. Since those IKEA parts are likely to be made of particle board plan to drill ‘pilot’ holes through where the screws will go, to avoid splitting the boards. Use “finishing washers” to spread the load from the screw heads into the parts and help with the appearance of screw heads.
The blocks of wood can be cut pieces of 2×4 or other substantial stuff at least a few inches long.

Get a length of 2×4 enough for a few inches (min 3” or 4”) at each of the fortification points. Some friend or lumber yard might have scrap short pieces, those would be fine and inexpensive.
Get yourself a handheld saw (for the 2×4) and a serious power screwdriver, a box of 1–¾” wood screws – if possible with phillips heads, they are so much easier to use a power driver on – and a box of finishing washers.
Get a drill bit that is about the same size as the shaft of the screws for the pilot holes.
Get a drill bit smaller than the screw shaft and use that to drill into the 2×4 to help avoid splitting that when you sink the screws.
Avoid putting the screws too close to the edges as the stress will crack the board, put ‘em at least an inch away from the edge. If you’re using 2×4 then you can’t go much further than an inch from the edge if it’s going into the “2” side of the 2×4.

@jca I agree into the studs, and long nails. But, I still think just making it stable on its own is the better option. But, I am far from being a carpenter.

@JLeslie: Yes, definitely. My first post said that – do both.

Sex in the bathroom. Sex in the kitchen. Sex on the floor. I’d find an alternative location.

The frame is metal. So not easy to just drill through. If I add extra legs/supports I will block off access to the rest of my room—desk, dresser, etc. And the whole unit would still shake. I’d rather not take on a huge construction project since I am only here temporarily (I would never agree to compromise sex long-term). Nor do I have time to do anything more that stuff stuff in the gap.

Can anyone please suggest positions that are less bed-moving? That’s the best solution at the moment. Since I have roommates, I can’t have sex all over the flat.

It’s the same with men who hump “large ladies”, constantly scratching their arses on the light-bulbs.

1st world problems…

Just throw the duvet down on the floor and get down to it.

^^^Foreplay is less romantic when it is carpentry and construction. How about a roll-up foam mat used by campers?

Like this

Or this

Throw @RareDenver‘s duvet on top.

Ah, sorry I did not notice the steel frame. I second the advice for diagonal bracing then.
You can get some steel cable with hooks on the ends and a turnbuckle in the middle. Make a big X across the big open rectangular areas on the two ends and on the back, use the turnbuckle to adjust/balance the tension on the two legs of the X. That should not get in the way of the neighboring furniture and space.

“sometimes I like to have sex” lmfao

P.s. Try some really slow Tantric sex practice, if you both have the patience and desire for it.

Do you have a car? Maybe do it the old fashioned way in a back seat. LOL. But, back seats aren’t what they used to be, bank seats in the back of an old American car were ideal for these sort of things.

@Jleslie but dont people usually get pregnant in backseats? lol

@cheebdragon I never heard that one before.

Ok, a serious position that has less movement. She is on the bottom, enter her and then she closes her legs with them straight out. You can’t move a lot in that position, you just kind of wriggle around. But, you won’t want to do that every time I’m sure.

@JLeslie, have you thought I’m a guy this whole time??

Have fun on the floor, the desk or the chair. Get a beanbag for the corner and use that.

It doesn’t sound like you’re going to be able do much for the bed frame with all the obstacles you’re facing—so change the locale, and the fun doesn’t change, right?

@sliceswiththings Oh, hahahaha, I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest. For whatever reason my assumption is guys are more likely to have unstable loft beds. I swear I crack myself up as I write that and think of the dorm rooms when I was in college. I was not really thinking who was asking the Q.

A guy would have said “I like to have sex all the time.”

Loft bed=cheaper room. But fair assumption. And LOL, @cheebdragon

@sliceswiththings, at your age I was having sex standing (against a wall or whatever), on a chair, on a desk. The loft bed sounds like a bad idea unless you’re into the cat position (@JLeslie described that one above).

Otherwise I’d have sex in the shower/tub, the car…anywhere but a cheap metal loft bed.

Poor baby is having a lot of sex and is worried about having so much sex that the bed will break and possibly result in injury from all the sex. Oh boo hoo.

Lol I said “1st world problems…” and it got moderated. I thought this was social?

[mod says] @nonexpert Oops! Right you are. We’ve restored the moderated replies.