Quick! Tell me a random fact about yourself?

I love pizza. Really good pizza is up there with sex.

I have never asked a woman out.

I have face blindness. If I meet you, then see you again a few days later and look at you blankly, it’s because my brain didn’t code your face properly.

@Adirondackwannabe – what’s your favourite topping?

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought, really? Do they usually ask you out?

@Bellatrix if a woman likes you, and you don’t ask them out, they find a perfectly logical and innocent reason why you should hang out together.

@Bellatrix I love supremes. Everything exploding in my mouth. That is so cool.

@Adirondackwannabe I love Pizza too. :D
Actually, I love everything with cheese.

Fact: I love cheese with all my heart and soul.

I don’t know how to swim, and my Zodiac sign is Pisces Viking.

I LOVE sushi ! ! !

I can’t type standing up.

I have an extra sensitive nose.

I don’t like to get wet. I realized this when I noticed that I always hesitate before I get into a shower.

I can’t straighten my right arm all of the way. The Radius and the Ulna bone are crossed at the elbow. Not sure why. Perhaps, I was born that way. The doctor did question my Dad (physical abuse?).

I absolutely love fried foods. They’re so unhealthy, but oh so tasty and omnomnom!

My left big toenail is extra thick and layery due to a severe toe stubbing a couple of years ago.

My nose is VERY hard-of-smelling.

I was born in the wagon of a traveling show.

I still wonder if my older sister is really my mother.

I’m a vicarious gardener.

I think green peppercorns taste disgusting. I am going to sneak out to the kitchen and throw out my daughter’s green peppercorns before she can use them again.

I’ve got bold determination and blind defiance.

I don’t post well under temporal pressure! ;-o

I like to watch cartoons.

I can’t play video games.

I like me some snazzy office equipment. I took up a daily journal (which I have never had the patience for in its own right), in cursive (again, no patience for it) to have an excuse to use my new fountain pen.

Chocolate holds no special place in my life. I enjoy it on the rare occasions I have some – two or three times a year, but it’s nothing special to me.

I will choose an A+ tropical fruit over the finest ice cream or chocolate in the world, any day. I’d miss chocolate sometimes, but I am completely ice cream indifferent and could go the rest of my life without any.

I have a dingo and I love her even though she kills cats and birds without remorse.

I never hesitate to pick things up with my toes.

I still watch cartoons.

I can heel and toe.

I learned how from a book before I had ever driven a car.

You know how they said that no one will notice that tiny blemish on your face?
I’ll notice.

I have a very, very strong dislike for peanut butter – just the smell of it is enough to make my stomach turn. Yuck.

I have ginormous boobs.

You know when us men can place our dick’s between our legs so we look like we have a lady garden, just for giggles mind. I did this one time & my penis kind of “tickled” my arsehole &........well, it felt rather nice, there I said it! ;¬}

I have been horse-crazy ever since I was about eight years old, and from the age of ten I taught myself to ride on a borrowed pony. I had my first actual riding lesson when I was about thirty, and they put me straight into the Advanced class and let me ride their headstrong and difficult Arabian mare.

I have O+ blood.

I think I’m allergic to mosquito venom.

I have O+ blood too!

When I die, I would like my ashes scattered in Loch Ness.

I’m allergic to isopropyl alcohol. Who the hell has that allergy! Nobody, that’s who. I’m weird.

@rooeytoo At least the dingo didn’t kill your baby.~

I was born with 6 toes on each foot.

Whoa, seriously?

@WillWorkForChocolate you mean me? Yes. I was born with an extra little toe on each foot. It is a family thing. Some girls get extra toes and boys get extra fingers. My son had an extra little finger on one hand. It is called polydactyly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polydactyly

I think that’s cool, actually! I once had a cat with polydactyly. I used to tell people he had opposable thumbs. :D Did you keep the toes and your son’s extra finger in place? Or did you have them removed? I’ve often wondered about things like that.

One of my toes was just hanging by a bit of skin when I was born so they clipped it off and put on a band-aid, but the other one, on my right foot, had a bone in it, so they had to wait until I was about 2 and a half to remove it. I remember the stitches I had. They removed my son’s extra finger here in Norway when he was a month old. It wasn’t attached by anything other than soft tissue and wasn’t growing at the same rate and they worried about the vascular system, worried that it may turn gangrenous and infected. They had NO clue what to do with it. They snipped it off with a pair of fingernail scissors. (I was NOT allowed in the room and did not witness the procedure. My sister was physically holding me down on a bench while I listened to my son cry in an examination room.) It is fine now… he has a little bump on that hand, much like my toes. He shows some signs of the area being sensitive. If you can imagine the skin in between your fingers or toes being on the outside of your hand…. I remember this from my own toes being removed, but I got used to it. Shoes are still a bitch to fit, though.

Oh wow! I’m sorry for any lingering problems with sensitivity and such, but that is so fascinating.

@chyna – it’s interesting actually, she was born and grew up in an aboriginal camp so she adores little black babies. They would crawl all over her and she would like them til they were giggling uncontrollably. But little white babies puzzle her, I am very vigilant because I don’t think she knows what they are, I’m sure they smell very different to her. It does worry me she might think something like “hmmmm, hairless cat!”

@Nullo but they were worried about it becoming infected, so they had to remove it.

@AshLeigh I dunno, I think I smell a double-standard.

@Nullo yeah, because letting gangrene set in is such a better idea. /sarcasm
@AshLeigh yes, it wasn’t growing and it was beginning to discolour. There was obviously problems with the vascular supply.

Fact: I just lost the game.
I hatechu, Mr_Paradox!

@AshLeigh darnit now you made me lose too.

Mr_Paradox made me lose. :)

Yes, yes I did.
Something about me…... hmmmmmm. I know, when it comes to cars, I’m clueless.

My eyes are changing color. I don’t know what color they are or are going to be, but they sure aren’t brown any more. They are getting lighter, not darker.

@cazzie And circumcision is about that important to a proper Jew.

Here is another random fact about me. I don’t care about religious ‘laws’. I live a secular life in a secular country.

Not everyone thinks that is necessarily a good thing. http://beginningatblackfriars.wordpress.com/2011/08/13/terrorism-secularism-in-norway/

@rooeytoo nonesense.

Why am I not surprised that is your response. It is an opinion and is as valid as any other opinion.

@rooeytoo I didn’t mean the opinion was nonsense. I meant you posting it here was. Is that a random fact about you?

Here is another random fact about me: I know that living in a secular society means that ALL religious freedoms are defended, despite what one religion despises over another or what atheists may think. I know that when people sacrified their lives to defend the country, they did not do it so that only Christians could observe their beliefs, but so that the right to not believe in a god is also recognised as a valid and defendable position. It is no longer allowed for the Roman Church to come into small villages and chop people’s heads off who won’t convert. (which is what they used to do around these parts.) Thank the secular society, that defends everyones rights, that allowed that person to have that blog.
And YES, today is the 1 year anniversary of the Oslo killings. Thank you so much for your sensitive and caring outpouring of support. /readsarcasm

you do sarcasm so well!

@Sunny2 Mine too. They used to be very dark brown, almost black. Now they are still dark brown, just not as dark as they were, but there is now a black ring around each one, like most of the eye changed colour but that bit didn’t. I hope my eyes don’t get any lighter whilst still leaving a black ring, that would be creepy!

@Leanne1986 There’s nothing to be done about it except wear colored contacts if we don’t like how they turn out.. I don’t plan to do that. Let me know how yours turn out, although, how will we know when the changing will stop?

I enjoy watching the ‘Gilmore Girls’

Fact: Though I am religious, there is nothing I hate more than religious pushers.
I wonder if they know that they sound like pompous assholes…

@Sunny2 very true. I don’t think I’ll be wearing coloured contacts anytime soon!

@Leanne1986 Some things have to be left to fate, I could always dye my hair to go with the new eye color, whatever it is. but I probably won’t

My eyes are blue but are technicly hazel because they change shades from electric blue to gray.

Shopping makes me happy.

I hate shopping.

@Adirondackwannabe I was just about to write “I hate shopping” when I noticed your post lol I like having nice things, but I hate the whole shopping “experience,” especially when it comes to clothes.

Random, annoying noises hurt my ears. Also, my glasses prescription has grown weaker over the past few years. Weird, right?

I’m a pretty good electrician, mechanic and welder, but I can’t sweat pipe, even if my life depended upon it.

@Paradox25 I’m neither an electrician, mechanic nor welder, so what does “sweat pipe” mean?

Soldering copper piping. Maybe I don’t do it enough to be proficient at it, but others have picked the technique up quicker than I have.

I thought it was soldering? Just asking.

I edited my post. For some reason I mess up on that word, like intersting.

@Paradox25 No biggie.I have trouble with it too.

I have an intense hatred inside me for a specific, evil person, and it’s difficult to not do something stupid.

@WillWorkForChocolate Don’t do anything lady. I’ll flash you my boxers if you behave.

lol

I’ll do it too. Oh, front or back? I forgot to ask.

Back. I like butts. :D

Well now, I’m thinking boxers or briefs?

Boxer briefs. :D

Why not just the nude bum? I figure if you are going to flash, do it properly.

Naw, then I would feel bad, dirty and wrong…

Oh god you guys.

And this is a bad thing @WillWorkForChocolate? Dirty and bad can be good :D

This has taken a weird turn, lol… let’s not derail poor @AshLeigh‘s thread any further.

Black briefs tommorrow ok?

This has taken a turn, talk dirty and AWAY WE GO ! !

Derail away, my jellies, derail away. :D
Just don’t show me your butt, and I don’t care what you do. :D

FACT: I don’t find butts attractive.
That’s where poop come from. >.<

lmao

This thread has finaly gone NSFW

@WillWorkForChocolate Where are you. I’m wearing my black briefs today.

@Adirondackwannabe We now need to have the mod rewrite the question with NSFW.

@Tropical_Willie Not quite yet, I haven’t done anything with them. It’s still PG

Keep it clean. Just post a pic of you wearing the undies on your head.

Spit my drink out, not the nose though.

To get back on topic…
FACT: I am writing a hook for my brothers latest rap, right now! :D

I get hives for no apparent reason. I am currently itchy. :/

I don’t understand the concept of travelling light (apparently).

When I travel, everything fits in one carry-on duffle bag.

When I travel, everything barely fits in a huge duffle-bag, and a carry on backpack. XD

I simply can not stand Nikki Minaj.

@WillWorkForChocolate I’m with you.

Who is Nikki Minaj?

If you don’t know, don’t worry about it. You will regret knowing once you know.

When you said that of course you made me curious so I googled. This came up. I think she seems pretty okay. I will have to listen to her music though because I must admit I am not a fan of gratuitous profanity in song or speech.

THAT’S the point.

@Mr_Paradox – what’s the point? That she uses gratuitous profanity? If that were a deterrent for me and kept me from looking beneath to see what else is there, I wouldn’t be on fluther, or actually, go out of the house these days!

It just disgusts me that people like her are sometimes seen as role models.

I think Nikki Minaj is a black Lady Gaga… No racism intended.

We need to invent a universal delete button.

@augustlan, you probably have your overzealous immune system to thank for that. Happens to me too.

FACT: I lived in the same house in the same small town for the first 20 years of my life (unless you count college dorms). But we moved a few days ago! Boxes everywhere!

@Mariah Yep, that’s the case. Stupid body of mine. :/

When I’m in the midst of a fibromyalgia attack, I sleep a lot. Last night/today, I slept for 17 hours straight!

{{{Auggie}}} I have a friend with fibro and it affects him the same way.

I can read cards at Walgreems for hours.

I can read upside down quite quickly.
It might have its uses but I am struggling to find even one!

FACT: Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I think ”... Fuck pants.”

@SomeoneElse Early childhood educator. Then you don’t have to hold the book out to the side to read to the circle. Just look down at it.

I hate learning to drive stick :(

I failed miserably at learning how to drive a stick. I still don’t know how.

I learned to drive on a stick and I’m really good at it.

My closet is color coded.

My closet is organized by the length of the sleeves. O.o

My closet is organized from T-shirts, to long sleeves, to coats. Each group is organized from “street clothes” to formal. So my closet starts with my sarcastic T-shirts and ends with my black trench coat.

I have taken a ‘rainbow’ approach to my closet organisation. It has stuff of all colours all over the place. It is cramped and has way too much stuff in there. It is only roughly organised by item type. I call it ‘pot luck closet organisation’.

@Mr_Paradox you hang all of your T-Shirts? I put them in the dresser. XD They take up two drawers, too. XD

@AshLeigh – I was thinking the same thing, I am lucky if they make it out of the wash basket to the dresser drawer, I can’t imagine hanging up a t shirt!

I have OCD so….................... yeah.

@Mr_Paradox – I could use a little bit of that to get the stuff out of the wash basket!

I have OCD about handwriting, and even/odd numbers. But not about T-shirts… XD
FACT: I’m lucky if I can fit all of my T-shirts into my dresser drawers. I have a lot of T-shirts. :D

OCD about even/odd numbers? Wha?

I like equals. I meant to say that I hate odd numbers. Haha. To the point of being obsessed about it.

1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, and 13

I also dislike odd numbers, and furthermore, even numbers that are not divisible by 4. Just one of my eccentricities.

My favorite number is 42

@Mr_Paradox…. I’ll kill.

Now I don’t mean this in an offensive way at all, I have more than enough of my own quirks which I call “madnesses.” Anyhow I love hearing about others’ quirks, then I feel less weird! (I like to count to 4 on one hand, like patting my fingers against my leg one at a time, starting with my index finger and continuing until I get around to my index finger. This is especially helpful in the dentist chair! I also like to count backwards from 100 by 2, 3, and onward. Again helpful in stressful situations!)

FACT: I only eat two pieces of cereal at a time. One on each side of my mouth. Haha.
Which is why I don’t eat cereal very often. It takes forever, and gets all soggy. :/

@AshLeigh – must be really difficult with oatmeal!

I hate cereal, and my favorite breakfast joint is The Eggshell in Canturberry NH

I can’t stop scratching mosquito bites. They spread and spread.

FACT: I hate oatmeal. :)

Give it to @wundayatta @AshLeigh, oatmeal can be used to soothe mosquito bite itches.

Gives oatmeal to @wundayatta.

Hey people! I have to go to work in this stuff!

I sing songs to my goose while cradling him in my arms. His favorite song is…

Row, row, row your flappys gently down the stream…. Marwyn Marwyn, Marwyn MARWYYYYN…life is but a dream!
He ‘rows” his feet on que. haha

fact: I’m teaching myself to play the ukulele.

I am going to die not being able to juggle.
It’s annoying.

@SomeoneElse The trick to juggling is to start with lightweight non-injurious items like cotton balls of rolled up socks. Once you have mastered it you can then move up to grenades. lol

@Coloma Measured steps or degrees of danger then – socks to grenades in one easy step! It would just my luck to start with the wrong thing.

@SomeoneElse LOL

Random fact abot Coloma #271

I press a perfumed washcloth against my face when I scoop the cats litter boxes.

FACT: I wear footsie pajamas.

Fact: my pajamas have music notes on them ^^

I have so much hair that it takes me an hour to wash it and mousse it.

And WillWorkForChocolate, I’m not a big fan of Nicki Minaj either… someone like Sviatoslav Richter or Chopin means far more to me.

Random fact of the day. I had leftover chili and cornbread for breakfast at 9 a.m. It was great! lol

Random fact: I now have a crazy craving for cornbread and chili. (the weather here has gone to freezing with loads of snow on the ground. hating it.)

I have worn a dirndl but wasn’t in The Sound of Music.

FACT: I can walk in 6.5 inch platforms, but not in high heels.

^^ I recently tried walking in some really insane 8 inch platform high heels, and fell on my face.

^^You two are insane. Guys like high heels. When was the last time you saw a guy in high heels?

Fact:
The last time I wore some cool boots was when I was flying to asia a couple years ago. Had a couple of drinks before our flight and I biffed it in the boarding tunnel and sprained my ankle so badly. 13 hours with a soggy ice pack on my ankle and limping through the airport in my socks. So much for wearing cool high heeled boots. Heh!

Cool random fact: My grandfather was a barber and shaved Al Capone.

@cazzie That is cool!

I don’t turn my jeans inside out before washing them.

I didn’t know you were supposed to.

I don’t know why people think you are:)

I like to turn my kids inside out before washing them.

FACT: I asked my mom for Fuzzy posters and a Banjo for Christmas.

I was raised in Essex, Old England,

I cannot STAND listening to peoples boring, daily “to do” list recitals. How is it even possible to narrate an epic novel about going grocery shopping? lol

@AshLeigh What about fuzzy banjo posters?

I can’t swim, I love to draw, Jersey Shore is my guilty pleasure, and I absolutely hate taking pictures. Oh, and I make faces at myself in the mirror

I sleep until noon whenever I get the chance.

I’ve just seen Dances With Wolves for the first time.

Beginning in July, I start wishing for cold weather and snow and Christmas. It doesn’t really get cold here until December, though. As soon as January 2nd hits, I’m over it and want it to be in the 70’s and 80’s again.

I intend to go to Mortuary School.

If I wasn’t planning on being cremated I’d have @AshLeigh do my post mortum makeup. Oh well…cremation is the ultimate laser treatment. Burn those laugh lines away. lol

I could give you a postmortem facelift?

@AshLeigh Have you seen “Bernie”? You have to watch that, it’s hilarious! No spoilers, but he’s a mortician.

Haven’t seen it, but I’ll look into it!

I still like to watch Andy Hardy movies. I’m a sucker for warm butterscotch pudding. I once shook hands with Ronnie Reagan. I love quarters. I used to love my iPad and iPhone but now I love my Nexus 4 and Samsung S3…

And… I’m very proud of this… I recently learned how to quickly and easily put a cover on my duvet.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Hey…I save quarters, wanna go out sometime? lol

@Coloma, deal! And we’ll pay for everything with quarters.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room I have about $30 worth in the console of my car. Emergency yard sale money. :-) I’ll buy you a Latte and take you yard saling with my bag o’ quarters.

I love Hill Street Blues.

I love Pistachios.

I just discovered Cracker Jack’D Salted Caramel, and it is so freaking delicious.

Follow up on changing eye color: The Department of Motor has declared my eyes are green. I don’t really agree, but I guess they looked green the day I went in and now that’s what it says on my driver’s license. Maybe I should dye my hair red.

I have purple sheets :)

I have a carved naked headhunter statue next to my laptop. He has an amazing penis. lol

Instead of counting sheep to fall asleep, I count by squares. Instead of 1, 2, 3, 4… I count 1, 4, 9, 16…

I am a compulsive skin picker. Sometimes I even want to pick at other people’s skin.

@AshLeigh Eww I think we should exile you to some place really cold and remote. Oh it’s too late someone did it already.

Pfft. It’s 46 degrees…

Pfft It’s 46 degrees here too. (You always make me smile.)

I aim to please :)

You do it well. Peace lady. :)

@AshLeigh I’m a ‘picker’, too. I call it ‘grooming’ when I do it to my husband. :p

I still can’t ride the stupid unicycle Mike gave me.

I have a black Labrador pup called Ernie Bert after two of the Sesame Characters.

FACT: I have to brush my teeth right before bed (even if I brushed them before doing other things, like showering) or I can’t sleep.

I go outside first thing every morning, rain, snow, sleet, hail, and have my coffee on my little back porch. Nothing like invigorating fresh air and coffee to wake one up.

I can live with a flexible sleep schedule, but function best as a morning person.

Fact: I am so bored with life and the people in it that I really don’t care what happens next and have no expectations for the future. I’ve discovered a lot of freedom in that as it allows me to take risks I never would have before, makes life more interesting, and the people in it easier to tolerate.

I’m preparing to host a holiday party on the solstice.

I’m addicted to avocados stuffed with shrimp and smothered in Thousand Island dressing, topped with olives and a side of french bread and pimento cheese spread.
Let the ass expand, life is short. lol

@Espiritus_Corvus Are you my brother? haha
I’m right there with you. Bah Humbug, people and their endless, shallow, drivel and devotion to their bubble. Gah!

I’m a very good lockpick, though I’ve never used it for nefarious purposes. I was taught by a very good friend and formerly one of the most successful jewel thieves in the US.

@Coloma Yes, sis. Merry Christmas.

Before I learned to actually read, I memorized a book my Mom read to me a lot. It was “Prince Bertrand the Bad.” I could also “read” it backward. That kind of freaked Mom out!

I almost died in Hurricane Andrew

I hate Meatloaf.

I still have a black Labrador pup, despite his desire to chew wood.

Maybe he has a few beaver genes in him.

Oh dam.

Meat the dude or the dish? I make a really mean meatloaf.

^ blech. Meatloaf is nasty.

I love those rolls of the old “Smarties” candy. I buy bags of them and can eat about 10 rolls at once. lol Childhood candy memories.

The childhood candy I still love is the Caramel rolls with the white stuff in the middle.

^^^ Oooh, yes, those are good too! and Brachs neopolitan coconut candies.

The orange coloured candy called Circus Peanuts has a special place in my heart. It reminds me of my father. I brought a bag to pass around at my father’s inturnment. It was well received with knowing smiles while we waited.

@cazzie My grandfather loved Circus Peanuts. I wanted to be just like him so I ate those all the time as a kid. Ugghh.

My vocal poetry obsession is getting out of hand.

@AshLeigh How can that be?

As all obsessions go, I am spending a bit too much time on it.

@Adirondackwannabe I don’t know. I had obsessions I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with, and that might be a little worse.:)

That was supposed to be @AshLeigh .

I LOVE chocolate covered raisins! munch munch

and HATE the buzzer on the *&#$%(!!! dryer. This stupid machine I can’t get it to turn off. lol

I was 6’ 1” in 1967, but now I’m 5’ 11½”.

@Yetanotheruser Well..better than being 5’3 and shrinking to 5’0. like I probably will. Shrinkage sucks. I’m going to be of those little old ladies whose chin is flush with the bottom of the steering wheel. Get outta my way…bah! lol

I really enjoy the Dick Van Dyke Show.

A random fact about me hmm… I am very good at keeping secrets.

I once played the part of Tevye in a production of Fiddler On The Roof!

I’m white, middle class and privileged .

^^^ LOL

I was white, middle class and privileged, well..I am still white. haha
Inside joke between @Dutchess_III and I.

Fact… I have a 22 lb. cat, not fat, named “Myles.” See his precious face in my avatar.

It might suprise some people, those who know me, that I found this video freaking HILARIOUS!

Mountain Dew Throwback is my life blood.

I’m Left Handed, I was once in a place with 8 people (including me), 4 of which were left handed (including me)

@IheartMypuppy I’m a lefty too but have only known like 2 other lefties in my while life. What are the odds of your encounter?

I love Orange Hi C fruit drink even f it is nothing more than sugar water with a little Vit. C in it. haha I don’t eat junk food often but go to the McDonalds drive through for my orange Hi C because they are the only place that serves it.

Fact: My parents had a harness and a leash for me when I was young, but @AshLeigh never barked at me!

TJBM is waiting for a question!

Nope I’m questionable as it is.

@Coloma I recently found out that two of those people write with their right hand but do everything left handed. Also I have observed that in most cases, one twin is always left handed or ambidextrous. (I have never seen otherwise, and I know lots of twins).

Another fact about me would be that out of my whole entire family I am the only one that is left handed (by this I mean my family that I know (and I know quite a lot of them) this includes my Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Parents, Siblings, Cousins, Second Cousins and Third Cousins)

@IheartMypuppy Yep, me too, the only lefty in the family. Well…you know what “they” say, not sure of being left handed is a sign of genius of a birth trauma. lol

Fact of my day..I am going to see “San Andreas” in one hour. Yay, love disaster flicks and living in CA. makes this one really great. haha

I have a beautiful black Labrador called Ernie Bert.

9:38 a.m. on 12–23 and I am stylin’ in my black socks with pink snowflakes, blue plaid flannel jammie bottoms, a salmon colored jersey and my ancient, fluffy, white bathrobe. I am a vision so blinding you must avert your eyes. lol

I just ate too much peanut brittle. 12/23/15, 2:47 pm.

I had to spend 40 minutes on a stinking hot tram today…
I bet it was easily over 35 degrees!

And I have returned from a Hiatus, but probably not for long, like, maybe for 5 minutes, MAX

I have a hiatal hernia.

I like stale marshmallows. haha

Me too, Coloma

@cazzie Haha..I found a half bag of the toasted coconut crusted marshmallows in the pantry the other night. They have been there for like 4 months and were perfectly aged. lol

Ewwww. Not a fan of coconut crusted. The fruit ones maybe.

^ So now we know that @cazzie does not like coconut. lol

Not even if we put de lime in it, @cazzie?

You put de lime in de coconut, and drink it wid de rum!

I am prone to eating strange food combos. Making leftover grilled asparagus with cornbread stuffing right now. haha

My Secret Life

Sometimes, around three or four in the morning, I’ll go to Fluther and drop spoetry (spam poetry) or some Engrish nonsense into the overnight spam knowing that soon it will be erased by the mods without anyone ever seeing it. It feels like an act of pure altruism into the arts, that one would do this, knowing that their creative effort has a lifespan shorter than a fruit fly. No permanence, no recognition, no ego, just the work cast into the Netiverse to only to be cast further into oblivion. (I often think that some of these scribblings are hillarious, but what works at 3 am can actually be quite droll at 3 pm—it’s kind of a crapshoot really—so it is often fitting that these never see the light of day).

Every once in a while a fellow insomniac or someone in another time zone will see these temporary leavings and point them a little lurve and suddenly the altruism is traded for immortality as this causes the item to be accessible in my Lurve List for as long as Fluther lives and possibly beyond. But few know about these secret nocturnal writings.

At three in the morning, it feels both weird and cool. At three in the afternoon, not so much. And that’s weird, too.

@Espiritus_Corvus Haha, love it. here, one of my favorite humor sites www.engrish.com

@Coloma Yes, you posted that a couple of years ago and it has been one of my favorites ever since. Velly much I gratitude!

Oh yeah. I have two superpowers. I can open any bubble pack in the world with my bare hands and I can turn any elevator into an express elevator.

I give blow jobs to the horses here. Okay…I mean I blow in their nostrils which is a horse greeting. There is a method to my blowing madness. lol

I live in Cumbria, at a coastal town called Maryport: the sunsets are amazing there!

I’m a real estate agent now!

@Dutchess_III Coolness! I’ll be your home stager. :-)

Sat. 3–18 4:53 pm PDT. Coloma just uncorked a nice bottle of Tempranillo from this local establishment right across the road from me. Music coming on the porch tonight, wafting across the fields.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTkkxnOMbDc

I leave for San Diego in 1 month and 7 days!:)

I leave for Los Angeles in 10 days!

I’ve been left for Texas for 10 days. haha

I leave for New Zealand in 4 days, somewhere where I haven’t been for nearly 5 years, I can finally see my family there.
edit: Extended family

Ohhh! I want to go! I want to go to New Zealand!

I want to go BACK home to New Zealand.

10:25 a.m. in sunny CA. and I just swore up a storm after caving in a damn ground squirrel hole and falling over in the chicken coop. lol

I’m outside a club in L. A!

@Yetanotheruser

Looks like L.A. is going for a sunny high of 67, just about the same for me up here in the NorCal hills. Beautiful morning…have fun in sunny SoCal. Are you going to do a little surfing? :-)

I’ve never been on a surfboard, and at my age, probably never will, although I’m not totally against the idea. Might see a beach while we’re here; 2 teens and the moms will be going to Disney on Friday while the dads will be in the studio.

I’ll be spending my 30th birthday in June on the Orkney Islands.

Right now, 5:45 pm PDT I am having my 2nd glass on Pino and admiring how my purple Teva sandals match my ankle tattoo of a purple Morning Glory. lol

Right now, 6:26 PM, PDT my brother and I just finished an all-day studio session.

Our farm raises organic beef, pork and poultry and it isn’t easy
but we eat good.

I’m currently listening to Politicians talk about inane bullcrap and reporters asking even worse questions, whilst also trying to do my homework, but procrastinating really badly.

5:55 pm PDT on 6–22 and before I go hop in the shower I thought it would be fun to get this Q. back into action.

I’ve been going bald since the sixth grade.

I moved into a 3 story home with bad knees and bad back and 3 years later I can go up and down 20 flights without my knees or any leg muscles or my lower back hurting.

I have a surgically deformed toenail.

I have a faint, brown, blotchy, birthmark on the inside of my left arm. Once, in 2nd grade, my evil crone of a teacher ” Mrs. Box” drug me to the restroom and tried to scrub off the “dirt” on my arm inspite of my protest that it was a birthmark.
She was, obviously, unsuccessful and never apologized for her evil ways. Burn in hell you old bat.

She’s probably already been there for about 45 years now. haha

Going into the social welfare office and applying for assistance makes me very angry and tearful.

@cazzie I hear ya, I too have had to apply for medical assistance this last 2 years, for the 1st time in my life. I don’t like it but, I also tell myself that I paid into the system for 40 years so I can take back in my time of need. I know it feels demoralizing but you have also contributed for years as I have as well, so try to not feel bad. It’s not like you’re some 23 year old mother of 5 kids from 4 different dads that is sucking on the government teat because you have been reckless and irresponsible.

The system was intended to help those going through difficult times and there is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s better to swallow your pride so you and your child can swallow some extra food and have medical care as needed.

@Coloma thankfully, medical care doesn’t fall under the special needs of these few months because all of that is taken care of in the country I live in. I have had dreams of being able to afford a dentist for myself, though. A proper vacation would be nice, too, but the budget is looking like it isn’t going to work out again for the 5th year in a row. I can only take a train because my asshole ex won’t sign papers for my son to get a passport so no airplane rides for us.

@cazzie Oh, that’s right, you are in Norway where most of your needs are met. Well, hang in there, one day this will all be behind you. :-)

I have never been out of the US, except for a tiny foray just over the border into Mexico when I was a little kid.

I use foot cream on my hands. lol

@Dutchess_III I have never been to the US

Well, I’ve never been to Spain…

but I kinda like their music!

@Coloma in the winter, so do I.

My great-great-grandfather was Napoleon.

I mean Napoleon SmartAZ, not Napoleon Bonaparte!

I just moved a few weeks ago and hung up some bird feeders for the first time in about 20 years to keep my cats amused.
Now, it is the kitty entertainment center. A hanging basket full of mixed seed with a chunky Woodpecker bar chock full of nuts, sunflower seeds and other goodies suspended over the seed basket.
I also just hung a new hummingbird feeder, literally about 5 minutes ago.

I already have Titmice, Nuthatches, finches, sparrows and Jays coming and the hens have discovered the spilled seed under the feeder and so, everyone gets something and I have no mess because the chix keep the spillage cleaned up.
“Herman” the rooster is calling the ladies to the buffet right now. haha

Just harvested a zucchini, first of the season. It’s about 10” (about 25 cm) long.

I had a great uncle named Napoleon. I have a picture of him in his turn of the century barber shop. He was brother of my grandfather who shaved Al Capone.

I can bend the first joint on my finger. Like this.

I can make my finger seem as if it was dead when you tap it, I can do it to pretty much all of my fingers

How does that work @Magical_Muggle?

I can wiggle my little toe without wiggling any other toes.

@Dutchess_III I can do that on my right foot only.

I don’t wear underware most of the time. haha

^^Commando Goose Girl!

underwear….

@Dutchess_III I know! Silver ware under wear. Duh..slaps self in face. haha

Jist channeling Gail! Well, somebody’s gotta do it!

My inner Gail caught that yesterday but too late to edit, thanks Ghost of Gail. lol

I turned 68 today.

Gawd, I am an old fart!

^ Happy birthday, old fart!

I just got a hair cut !

@Yetanotheruser Happy Yeatanotherbirthday!

I made a complete twat of myself on Fluther the other night by losing my temper. (sorry… actual apologies will come forthwith.)

I am wearing clown pajamas right now. A colorful morning array of wackiness.
Blue, purple, green and pink striped socks with black. turquoise, orange and pink striped PJ bottoms with a red thermal top and gray sweat jacket. I could easily make the cover of Bag Lady weekly. lol

@Coloma PICS or it didn’t happen! LOVE IT.

^ LOL All I need are some clown slippers. haha

^^Clowning around for my birthday?

@Mariah My older sis (now departed) welcomed me to the “Old Farts” club when I turned 50!

@Yetanotheruser I wished you a Happy B-Day a few posts up. Ya old geez. :-D

Geez, I’m a geeze!

Thanks, @Coloma. It’s been a busy week!

I’m addicted to olives. Big, small, green, black, stuffed, unstuffed, greek, Olives, Olives, Olives.

I can’t eat as much chocolate Malt O Meal as I thought I could .

My main automobile is a limited-edition Lamborghini “Murcielago LP640” whose top speed is 211 mph and accelerates from 0 to 60 mph in 3.3 seconds.

I miss cream of wheat and malt o meal. Can’t buy it where I live. Also, cheese curds, Kool aid, jolly ranchers and dollar stores.

I drive a Ford Focus…it gets good gas mileage..

I drive an older Tahoe Z71. It gets terrible mileage but is great in the snow – like today.

~Head to head, it will easily beat the Lambo in 1/8 mile, ¼ mile, and 0–60 times – in 8” of snow.

I drive a hay cart. Can go from 0–1 in 40 seconds.

Snow is a great leveller.

I used to drive nice cars. Classic convertibles (cabriolets) were my favorites. Today I still drive a convertible. I drive a beat up, early 70’s Jeep CJ5, the progeny of the WWII General Purpose vehicle and the precursor to the Jeep Wrangler. I think it was blue at one time. There’s some sun-bleached blue paint still showing on the rust and mud encrusted hood between the patches of primer. It has seen it’s day, but keeps on running. Most of the time. Its name is the Blue Max, but I usually call it &^%@#$%$&!!! on those days it tries to put in for retirement. Slacker.

I avoid snow as much as possible. No car can beat mine on the autobahn.

Fact: My maternal grandfather was born near Childress, Texas in 1876, the year of Custer’s Last Stand. He was with his uncle as a child in one of the last Oklahoma Sooner land rushes and rode herd. He rode herd in Texas and New Mexico. He enlisted in the Army for the Spanish American War, but caught dissentry in Tampa while waiting to be deployed in Cuba and was sent home. He never forgot the recruiter’s name who refused to enlist him in WWI because they said he was too old. He lost his land in the Dust Bowl in ‘33 and had to move with his family to California to pick fruit and start all over again. In the early 60s, he taught me how to play a Dobro, shoot and ride.

I was part of an Oprah Winfrey show.

@Dutchess_III , on the topic of making my finger look dead, you sort of put it into a position where you bend it by the joint after the knuckle, but in a way that the last ‘section’ of your finger goes floppy and when prodded reacts as if it were dead… i know this makes no sense
(I tried to find a picture but it didn’t work)

@Espritus do you realize how many great American novels you just sumerized with that story about your grand dad? I heard Steinbeck and Hemingway just for starters.

@cazzie Yeah, he was quite a guy. My mom’s favorite book was Grapes of Wrath, because she said it told the truth about what it was like when all of California it seemed was against accepting these people. Nobody was sympathetic at the time to “these filthy, locust-like invaders, these Okies who refuse an honest wage for an honest day’s work” as the Sacromento Bee once put it. The California Ranchers and Farmers Association and the Grange were very powerful entities in that state in those days. The newspapers called Steinbeck a communist after he wrote that book.

By the way, @cazzie, here’s The Grapes of Wrath in downloadable pdf format, if you’re interested. I was thinking that you might find an English language copy hard to find where you are.

Thanks, @Espiritus_Corvus . I often go to the Gutenberg Project.

I take my coffee and go sit outside every morning rain or shine, but shine is nicer. haha

I always enjoyed Easter much more than Christmas. Pretty much the same thing anyway, a reason to go to church if you are so minded, or drink beer and grill hotdogs if you’re like me. Then on the kiddie side of things, you got your Easter Bunny who brings candy overnight, somewhat like Santa on Christmas. Except that the Bunny is much easier on the wallet.

My kid said a really funny thing this Easter because he was tired of the whole country shutting down for so many days. He decided that if he ruled the world, we’d have just one holiday to celebrate the Jesus birthday and death. Combine Xmas and Easter into one and just get them over with. I thought that was a little bit brilliant.

I sleep with an 18 lb. cat that hogs the bed and is about 3 feet long all stretched out. He’s a memory foam denter for sure. lol

The Australian Army think they might’ve found one of my relatives who was killed at Villers Bretonneux during WW1, but never found. They recently found the bodies of two Aussie Diggers and are currently testing my Grandmother’s Mitochondrial DNA to see if there’s a match! So, after 100 years, Hedley MacBeth might finally be recovered.