What should happen next?

We were going to marry on VIctoria Island.. http://www.arctic.uoguelph.ca/cpe/environments/maps/detailed/islands/victoria.jpg

Whatever you choose.

It certainly shouldn’t involve your former girlfriend.

If she is stupid enough to get involved with you again, you wouldn’t want her anyway.

My advice is get some education, or if you already have that, get a job, start a career, accept the value of self esteem and cruise into the future.

@Josie: Thanks for the advice, though I will disagree about my wants. I feel more in tune with what I want than I believe you can be.

You seem stuck. You need to find a way to move past that situation and realize that you are wasting time and energy on something from the past that will never be.
It is one thing to repent and feel you are serving some penance, but it is something different to waste away.
Seek therapy or more therapy to help yourself find a path to the future. Learn from your past mistakes.

Youth is wasted on the young.
~George Bernard Shaw

@Kantieta
I want all sorts of shit. Some of it I will never get even if Jesus performed miracles on my behalf. The trick is to distinguish between what you want and what you can reasonably expect to achieve.

@josie
“Whatever you choose.”

@all: I am not sure what I expected to accomplish in asking this question… Perhaps I am not asking it for the benefit of your responses at all. Thanks for your time, though.

I think you need to accept that it is over because of your actions and move on. If you aren’t in therapy, then you should look into finding a therapist that can help you put your life in perspective.

Have you taken responsibility for what you did? I’m not sure you have. I see mentions of alcohol and of personality disorders, but not ownership of your actions. Unless you have owned up to it and regret it and really believe that you have control over yourself and you’ll never do something like this again, I think you owe it to her to stay away. If you really love her as much as you say you do.

Tough words, I know. I really wish you two the best, though.

I feel very slow on this question, so I need to make sure I understand. Are you the boyfriend of the unquietone? Are you the person who beat her up while drunk or high or something? You went to trial, were convicted, received probation, and then discovered you have a brain chemistry disorder?

Have you been treated for your mental illness? Are you able to control your temper and your drinking now?

Are you still in love with that woman? Have you been stalking her? Does she have any interest in you at all?

Can you get on with your life? Or do you feel the only thing you want in life is this woman? If she doesn’t want you, can you accept that? Can you agree to it, and move on? Or are you obsessed with her, and beleive that she truly loves you, and if you can get a chance, you will show her how she loves you for real?

Are you currently being treated for your mental illness with both meds and therapy?

You should focus on sorting your life out (and I don’t mean on a Q & A site).

Please don’t drag your ex-girlfriend back into this situation. It doesn’t matter whether or not you have repented or not. What you did to her is un-forgiveable and you should not ask her for forgiveness. You should not ask anything of her. You should leave her alone. She’d be a fool to get back together with you.

It sounds like you’ve got some mental problems. You need to get some help. If you don’t get help, you are likely to repeat this violent situation again, with her or someone else. You might be lonely and bored, but that is your cross to bear. You need to spend the next bunch of years (or even forever) working on yourself, get yourself as healthy as you can. If you want to be the man that you thought your ex girlfriend thought you could be, then be that person, just don’t involve her in it. She doesn’t need to see you again.

Please let your ex-girlfriend to have a decent life, one without you in it.