How can I get a better sense of humour?

I don’t think it is something you can learn, as each persons humour is different. I may find some things hilarious and others may not. I am known though, for my good sense of humour. I think it is because I do try to see the funny side of every situation, simply because a good laugh is the best medicine so they say. But if people are saying you are too serious, then maybe do try to find what you yourself find funny or light hearted. That is only if it worries you personally as I personally wouldn’t try and please everyone else and take their opinions as a given.

You must be joking!!!

Take everything in life with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila.

It would be very difficult, I think, to change your sense of humor. You might learn to relax and enjoy your life more, but probably not learn to see things as funny if you don’t already think they are. It’s fine to be a serious person, too, so I wouldn’t worry overmuch about this.

One thing to think about though, is what people mean when they say you have no sense of humor. Maybe they are being literal, but it’s possible that there’s another interpretation. Is it possible that they feel you overreact to things that are meant to be taken lightly? If you find yourself feeling offended often, this may be the case. You can probably control that a bit by trying to take a step back and ask yourself if there is really anything to feel offended about. If you’re unsure, asking for clarification before you react is a good idea, too.

@AnonymousWoman: “How can I get a better sense of humour?”

Keep spelling humor like that! It’s hilarious.

Seriously, I don’t think this is something you can change about yourself.

I had a friend to whom I’d tell a joke and she’d explain to me how that situation wasn’t possible. A sense of humor allows one to recognize absurdity and see it as funny.
You might try analyzing why a joke is funny. Situations too can be funny. Then you can take on non-sequitors and recognize their absurdities.
Do you find any comedy amusing?

Being serious doesn’t mean you can’t have a sense of humour. The two often go together and humour (that’s the way I spell it too) can be a way of dealing with serious issues. If you have a serious nature and no sense of humour I am not sure if it can be learned. You either see the funny side of things or you don’t. Trying to change yourself to please some other person is rarely a good idea anyway.

I don’t think you can learn a sense of humor. Things that help you have humor are knowledge, as sense of playfulness, and a sensitivity to others. You can become more knowlegeable by reading a lot and learning a lot. You can become more sensitive to others by studying people, and learning the non-verbal cues that people provide. You can even learn to be more playful by taking creativity classes.

Humor is about making unexpected and absurd connections. It often involves manipulation of symbols, especially word play. To get humor, you need to think of lots of associations with words and images. You have to do this quickly. You have to detect when someone says something that doesn’t make sense in context, and quickly bring up another context they might be referring to. Thus you can see that humor is intended and respond to it.

Certain kinds of people have difficult with humor. People who can not read other people or aren’t very empathic have a hard time with humor. Autistic people have difficult with humor, as do those with Aspergers. Uneducated people have trouble with humor. They often don’t know enough to pick up on others’ jokes. And people who don’t like to play will be in trouble.

A serious person can have a sense of humor. I am told I am funny even though I am a very serious person. I do like to play. But if I didn’t, I don’t think I’d be able to be funny. I spent a lot of time learning to read people, and learning to understand how to say things so people would laugh. My specialty is shaggy dog stories. Or wry and dry humor. I’ve spent a lot of time working on it.

So, possibly, if you work on it, you could learn it, but only if you are educated and playful and sensitive to people. If you have to learn all those things, it is going to be difficult to get a sense of humor.

Simple : Remember this Quote , Laugh at others and you laugh alone , But Laugh at yourself and the world Laughs with you , Mark Twain .

You just have to find a group of people who like your sense of humor. I have a very dark sense of humor, and massive tragedy and death is funny to me in certain instances. Now, if I display this sense of humor in front of the wrong people, I am at best insensitive and at worst a murdering psychopath. With the right people I am hilarious.

I would never display that sort of humor here, for instance. Or on Facebook. Read your audience. That is the best advice that I can give.

If you can’t sell the joke, don’t tell the joke.

EDIT: I just read your whole explanation. In relation to your kind of boyfriend, I’ve had guys who viewed something about me (or a lack of something) to be a dealbreaker. I always thought that if I could only convince them I had this quality, I right for them, all would be good. I would have found true love and everything would be perfect.

It turned out that they were seeing something that I wasn’t, something that made us incompatible, something larger than the issue seemed to be. Usually I managed to convince them that I had what they needed. I just wanted it to be so, and deception is a particular skill of mine, so I made it so. All of these relationships failed miserably.

They knew. Trust your intuition about relationships, but also trust that people know what they want better than you know what they want.

I have to say I do have an easy sense of humour but not everyone does. We are all different. I don’t think you should try to change your natural personality to suit other people. If you are a naturally serious person, that’s who you are. If that doesn’t suit other people, perhaps they aren’t the right people for you? You have to be true to yourself.

@Sunny2 Yes, I do appreciate comedy. Comedy in movies is awesome.

As for everyone else, I am reading everything here. It did occur to me while reading responses here that I am (unfortunately) not as knowledgeable about pop culture as I could be. I was discouraged from caring about it a whole lot in the family I grew up in, so I am way behind on it. I don’t understand a lot of the jokes in my generation because of this. I am guessing this may be a reason why.

EDIT:

@athenasgriffin & @Bellatrix Your advice is extremely helpful and a great reminder. Thank you both so much! You are right. If I have to change myself intentionally and unnaturally so that I’m wanted more, it’s not worth it..

@AnonymousWoman You don’t have to change yourself at all, There are other people who are just as serious as you are and aren’t into pop culture. You just have to figure out how you can meet them. Make a list of your interests and find groups that are interested in the same things. There’s your social group.

everybody has some kind of humor, try something on 9gag. com and find out what you think is funny, im sure there is something youll laugh about

@AnonymousWoman Imitation. If you want to get a better sense of humor, then “fake it ‘til you make it.” Watch sitcoms and stand-up comics, read joke books, and just generally partake in anything you find funny. Then steal the jokes. Seriously: steal them. It’s okay because you’re just practicing. Eventually, you’ll leave the stealing behind and be able to both get and tell jokes on your own.

Not everything can be stolen, of course, and maybe not even the best jokes. If someone’s most hilarious material is about their kids and you are childless, then you’ll have to steal something else. Still, write down what you think the funniest jokes are. Figure out which ones could be used outside of the situation in which you originally heard them. Then look for opportunities to use them.

Be prepared to admit that you stole a joke if someone says “I feel like I’ve heard that one before.” Laugh it off: “Yeah, it’s a Conan O'Brien joke. It just popped into my head when you said that!” People repeat jokes all the time, so nobody but a total jerk would think poorly of you if you are willing to come clean about it. But the process of remembering jokes and learning to see opportunities for retelling them teaches you how to intuitively recognize when there is an opening for humor in a conversation.

A fair warning: not all of your jokes are going to work—stolen or original. Some people just won’t find the same things funny, and you’re delivery might not be very good at first. That’s okay. Everyone has to crawl before they can walk, and we all tell a lot of bad jokes before we manage to tell good ones. It’s just the learning process. Humor is something you learn by doing, though, so having some prepared material is like a little kick-start to the process. Just remember to wean yourself off of it before you become another Carlos Mencia.