Why do you think people make fun of others?

Well they say to laugh with the person you are making fun of is OK. If that person is not laughing as well, then I think it is not a dark motive always, but more of an insecure motive on the part of the people that are doing it. I have never wanted to be part of a group, I stand alone and I am strong in my own decisions about people. So I never feel I have to poke fun in order to feel better about myself.

It depends. I think you have to know the person you are making fun of. There are some things I make fun of myself, and when other people point it out I laugh along. But, other things I am very uncomfortable and unhappy if it is pointed out. If it triggers a feeling of embarrassment for me I don’t like it.

I think people make fun of others either because they know everyone will laugh, including the targeted person, and that is not much different than having a sense of humor in general. Then there are people who make fun of others because it helps them feel better about themselves, it is kind of putting the other person down. I hate that. I don’t do it, I don’t like being the target of it, and I don’t like to witness it. Many times I jump to the attacked person’s defense. I find it to be borderline bullying.

The tricky part is sometimes we don’t know when something said really hurts the other person, they might laugh along, but feel quite badly.

I dunno, @Shippy. The reason I ask is because I find myself often resisting the urge to make fun of people’s questions here. Some of the things people ask seem so absurd to me, and I can’t believe people are serious. I know some of them are young and inexperienced, and others come from other cultures or don’t speak English very well, but when you’ve heard the same inane question ten times, it’s hard to hold back on making fun of it.

Of course, if I don’t, I’ll get moderated. Which pisses me off, of course. But we don’t have quality standards for questions. We have standards for spelling and punctuation, but that does not equal a standard for sense. I guess I wonder if I make fun of the inanity of a question, will that discourage such questions in the future? Will people try to make more sense in order to avoid being made fun of?

Surely not. Which means I’m just letting off steam. But if I let off steam in the right way, maybe people will get that I don’t mean harm. I’m just letting off steam. Sigh.

@wundayatta Well best you ignore all my questions, as I know my spelling and punctuation sucks. And, now I can answer the second part of your question which I had forgot to the first time round. No I don’t mind being poked fun at. So go ahead!!!! Oh yes you did with my female directed sponge question. Dam nearly forgot!!

Oh, making fun of a question, I had not thought of that. I was thinking of other things. I hold back usually here on fluther, sometimes I do tell someone their thought is ridiculous, but that is usually regarding an answer, not a question. I try not to do it either way.

I think people make fun of others behavior, at least at young ages, is a way of teaching people to conform to the norms of society. What your parents can’t or won’t teach you the schoolyard will.

As adults, teasing serves the same purpose. If you stand out too much, people tease you and you learn what is acceptable. If you continue to deviate, then you have either chosen to accept it or you don’t understand what behavior of yours provoked it.

Sometimes feel as though they have to blow out others’ candles to make their own burn brighter.

That ask for it. Seriously.

@Shippy making fun of your spelling? I think not. No, if you were writing all the questions, I don’t think I’d find much cause to make fun. Except the sponge question. But that was for other reasons besides spelling. That was the topic that was absurd to me, anyway. I don’t remember what I did to that question, but you can be sure it wasn’t a tenth of what I wanted to do. But you probably wouldn’t have thought it was as fun as I might have thought. Or maybe you would have!

The thing is, until you know someone, you don’t know whether they will mind being made fun of. I recently made fun of someone, gently I thought, and someone else sent me a private message on this person’s behalf. Like I offended this third party who wasn’t involved at all, while not offending the person I was making fun of, who I knew understood what I was doing. Yikes! What a minefield!

In a word:
insecurity

I think it reflects on their upbringing.

My philosophy is don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.

I’ve been made fun of a lot when I was little. It was really hurtful and no matter how much I asked the people to stop, they wouldn’t. They were much older than I was and I really felt helpless.

If you’re with friends, who’ve you’ve been friends with for a long time, it is ok to tease each other occasionally. You always have to know when to stop, though. Sometimes your friends don’t even know when enough is enough.

I was with my boyfriend, Brett’s, family earlier this month and his cousin’s boyfriend started teasing Brett about his premature baldness (he’s 23 and mostly bald on top). Brett’s a good sport. He’s a little sensitive about going bald (I actually think it’s sexy), but he can take a few jokes. So Brett took all of the insults his cousin’s boyfriend threw at him with a grain of salt and then started retaliating by making jokes about his beer belly AND baldness. His cousin’s boyfriend started getting pissed off.

@andreaxjean I have a friend who teases and uses sarcasm a lot, too much for me. Thing is he can take it, I think that is part of the reason he fails to know when he has gone too far with other people.

Making fun of others is usually a sign of immaturity, it is something that happens in the school playground and is part of the process of growing up. I have always hated being made fun of and so I don’t often do it to others though the temptation is occasionally there.

Why make fun of others? I think it reinforces a sense of shared values within a group to mock someone who is different. It reassures us that we are better than that and gives a warning not to be too different. It can also be done in a gentler way as if to say we know you have been a bit stupid but it is all right we forgive and accept you anyway.

Done in a friendly way it’s just banter between…..err, friends.
Done in a negative/odious way means you’re a sad, pitiful individual with little or no social skills.

@flutherother I think you sum it up well. I love how you say ” It can also be done in a gentler way as if to say we know you have been a bit stupid but it is all right we forgive and accept you anyway.” So true.

Isn’t it interesting that we say “make fun of” and “make sport of”? It has a certain entertainment value for the people who are doing it to others and yes, it makes them feel superior. It may be fun for the tormentors but not so fun for the target. But there’s all kinds of motivations and there’s good spirited teasing meant to sort of ruffle someone’s feathers that we love but whom we may think is taking themselves a bit too seriously. When you tease someone in a truly loving way with affection it’s so totally different than making fun of them. Even so, it can be taken the wrong way and there are limits. It depends on the mood the person is in and you have to be sensitve to that and make sure you don’t carry the joking too far.

I love to tease but I don’t like to make fun of others because I think it is more hostile and mean. I try to live by the infamous golden rule. Do unto others…I don’t really like being made fun of because I am all too aware of my shortcomings and I don’t being made the brunt of a joke. Who does? I guess I could grow thicker skin and it wouldn’t bother me then. But if I become more callous to the barbs thrown at me will I become more willing to throw a few of my own? What would I do with my newfound teflon quality?

I’ve always believed that people make fun of others to empower themselves or to make themselves look better! It’s a self esteem issue. It doesn’t really bother me when people make fun of me, but if they do it without letting up I have a tendency to get a little pissed off!

There are about three reasons that I personally can think of for this. There may be other reasons outside of the following three I’ll mention, but I think that they would branch off of these. I can only answer a part of your post here in all honesty.

1. Sometimes people do so in a jokingly way, without any ill intentions, even if or if not the other person finds this funny.

2. Usually when a person is insecure, or feels low about themselves (as in low self-esteem) they try to hide this by putting up a front to take the negative attention off of themselves, or at least their imagined negative attention.

3. They are true a-holes who just lack empathy, and do this for kicks.

@wundayatta Give my answer a GA otherwise it looks like you’re making fun of me…....guffaw.

What about the idea that people make fun in order to express anger or aggression in a more socially acceptable way? Maybe that is why people respond to being made fun of by getting angry or even by hitting back.

Yeah, I was thinking about this, and I think sometimes we do it because we just can’t take it anymore. Listening to someone who is in our perception clueless, stubborn, ignorant, whatever it might be, and making fun of them is an expression of anger, or I actually think more likely frustration.