How do I express displeasure to my girlfriend when she makes fun of me for certain things?

Standing up for yourself and taking charge may be considered manly to her for all you know. So stand up for yourself and take charge. Make sure she is aware of your boundaries and tell her that you would appreciate her not crossing them. It may hurt her worse to find out she has been hurting you for a long time without you saying anything about it than for you to just be upfront with her all along and let her know where she stands with you.

Welcome to Fluther.

You won’t like my advice.

I think that you’re the one who should change. That is, do some self-analysis and find out why it is that certain things bother you so much… and get over that.

Personally, I don’t find it one bit “manly” to be upset by the things that a friend says in jest, if he or she is truly a friend. If not, that’s another issue entirely, and if a “friend” persists in needling one in sore spots (because it’s easy for anyone who is intimate to tell what those are, regardless of what you say sometimes), then it’s time to re-think the entire relationship. But if you have a lot of sore spots it’s better for you to grow up and get over them than it is to map them out as “unapproachable territory” and send the map out to anyone close to you.

Drop the “nice guy” thing. Nobody likes this, and it turns out to be not so “nice” upon further reflection. (Note: I know the “nice guy” thing very well – its origins and motivations.)

Maybe you could try being the “honest guy”. Who knows what she considers “manly”. This isn’t your job to figure out. Your job here (if you have one) is to figure out who you are. The rest should follow.

^ Good advice, @tom_g. Yes. It’s best to be honest. That way, if she likes you, you know she likes you for you. If she doesn’t, then maybe you’re not meant to be.

Tell her the things that bother you, but follow it up by telling her the ones that don’t bother you.

If you let her keep making a mistake she doesn’t know she’s making, it will undermine your relationship. It’s also a pretty good step in good communication. Also, in any relationship you should be willing to stand up for yourself… Not that she’s bossing you around or something like that, but you should stand up for yourself in every situation.

If you are worried about not seeming manly (Which is a legitimate fear, despite what some may say. I hate it when guys are whiny, and so do most girls I know.) just look her in the eye next time she says it and ask her to stop, and then never bring it up again. Having problems isn’t whiny. It is having problems that you don’t get over, that you bring up again and again that is whiny.

You can also give her negative reinforcement when she says those things. Take away your presence, ignore her for a little bit. Eventually she’ll stop doing them because doing them brings things she doesn’t like. And then you never have to talk about it at all.

But I do agree with @CWOTUS in that you need to do some soul searching and figure out why these things bother you and try to deal with whatever underlying problems you have.

I agree with @athenasgriffin in that when she says something you don’t like just ask her to stop. Then you’re not making a federal case out of it.

The whole teasing issue can be fraught with missteps. You have to really know the other person and this would be one of the ways she gets to know you.

Honesty is vital in a relationship. If you don’t tell her that these things bother you, how will she know? Why would she stop unless you told her?

Having feelings is not unmanly. It is what makes you valuable to her.

Tell her and don’t feel bad about it!

I really like @tranquilsea‘s idea of just saying firmly, “Stop” when she starts. And shake your head “no. “She’ll figure it out. I wouldn’t give her a list of things that you don’t like to be teased about all at once..

Another issue to ponder is why she feels the need to make fun of you so often. Teasing is usually hurtful and not a loving act. I don’t know anyone who enjoys being teased.

This is a perfect time to learn to 1) respect the way you are feeling and 2) confront her in a calm and pleasant way.

There will be countless occasions when someone will tease, taunt or bully you (often in very subtle ways); having the techniques to take care of this is vital to your emotional armamentarium.

“It’s entirely possible that this question shows us to be emotionally immature, but oh well, that’s where we are.”
In which case, you should be content to be in an emotionally immature “relationship”. If telling the simple truth makes her “feel bad”, then she can’t cope with reality. If you continue to enable her to not have to deal with realty then you are what is known as an accommodator. You put your own feelings and needs aside to keep others happy and the others take for granted that you do this and never worry about how you feel. In the end you get tired of this and snap. Or you find passive/aggressive ways to get some power back.
Neither is healthy.
I saw a really stupid couple on Worlds Dumbest once. The police pulled them over and the driver was the woman When they started to question her to write her a ticket, she started screaming and fell to the ground, still screaming like a fucking two year old. She did NOT stop screaming. The man with her kept trying to comfort her and looking t the police like they had stabbed a baby. What an accommodator and enabler he was. The police finally walked away. I’d have slapped cuffs and a gag on her, but whatever. It was his choice to live like that.
It is your choice now.

Its possible that these sore points are only sore because it comes from someone you really admire. Point out to her that you don’t want her to feel bad but to be aware that certain things that she says in jest makes you question how she really feels and you don’t like that feeling. Tell her you do know she may not really see things that way and that it is your own fault for not saying anything sooner and then name the stuff you tend to feel subconscious about around her. I think she’s going to feel bad no matter what because she cares for you. I love a manly man too but it doesn’t mean a man without feelings. Usually its feelings that attract you.
Like I said, she will feel bad but she will appreciate that you are willing to trust her enough to tell her, rather than stay silent and maybe walk away without her ever understanding what went wrong. Sometimes jokes aren’t as one really sees us but we have an exaggerated sensitivity to it.
Like people like to make jokes about short people. They sometimes like to sing that stupid song about short people don’t deserve to live and find it amusing. I really, really hate that song. They don’t really mean it. At least the people who I know, who love me. But they use it as a come back if I got them on a joke. But I am offended that for years people sang that song like a freaken mantra. As if being tall makes one entitled. A really sore point with me.

The term manly is kind of funny because it’s totally subjective. I’m guessing that what you mean is macho which IMO is not a trait to be emulated.

It’s better to strive to be a good human being whether you are a man or a woman, gay or straight, transgendered or not. What that means to me is being kind and compassionate and useful (not being used) and making others feel special and liked/loved, being polite (not like a robot) and being thoughful and thinking about other’s needs (without being a doormat) and being a hard and conscientious worker (and a practical person, not killing yourself for no good reason) having a good sense of humor (without resorting to snarkiness and sarcasm, except in small doses, and not using those 2 forms of humor against your friends and loved ones) It also means being generous without bankrupting yourself or attempting to bribe others or expecting a reward in return. It involves being truthful (while at the same time sparing the feelings of others). If any of these things are considered to be manly then that’s good.

Even though you like her a lot, and might even think that you love her, you need to stop and think about things right now.

You and your girlfriend might not be a good match in the long run. If you want her to stop teasing you (and most people do not enjoy being teased) then you need to sit her down, and say something in the most non-confrontational manner in which you can muster up and let her know that you don’t appreciate X, Y and Z. You can say something like this, “You know Becky, I really care about you, but I have to let you know that it kind of makes me feel sh*tty when you do/say___fill in the blank. I’m sure you don’t mean to hurt my feelings or embarrass me, but that is exactly how it makes me feel. Sometimes I think you don’t realize it. I don’t want to hurt your feelings either, and that’s not why I’m telling you this, it’s just that I think we need to be more open about things.” Then you can add in, “I hope you don’t think that I don’t have a sense of humor, because I do, it’s just that ___fill in the blank is something that’s really offputting and hurtful to me. I hope you can understand.”

If she agrees with you and apologizes for hurting you, then you’re good to go. If she makes some snide remark and tells you to man up or something similar, or that she thinks that you don’t have a sense of humor, then she’s probably not the right girl for you.

Imagine if she continues with the teasing, it will get worse and that situation is what you will have to contend with the rest of your life if she doesn’t stop doing it (because you’ve asked her nicely to stop) and eventually you will come to resent her for not stopping and she’ll peck you to death.

How you ”...tell her you don’t like it” makes all the difference.
Use “I” statements, keep it casual, and do it before you really feel hurt.
‘Aw come on, honey, when you say < > about me that hurts my feelings.’
Let it be okay for her to get your point without feeling bad.
If she gets upset, she’s creating a distraction, tell her you’d like for it to be okay to tell her about your feelings and discuss them. That the goal is not to make her feel bad but to let her understand something about you that you feel vulnerable about.
Chicks love that stuff. And a thinking/feeling man does too because he knows his woman will be a better partner with that mutual skill.

“Chicks love that stuff. And a thinking/feeling man does too because he knows his woman will be a better partner with that mutual skill.”
What the fuck?

Hmm, I can see how that can be misunderstood.
Note that I’m answering the OP. He refers to his girlfriend as a ‘girl’.
Following what’s above the two sentences you quoted, what you quoted is startlingly superficial to reel in anyone tempted to dismiss it as too sensitive or unmanly then proceeds to point out that I meant everything above and that it goes both ways.
No offense intended.

^^ I’m not offended. Just surpised. Thank you for the courteous response though.