Just how was your day today, 100 years from now?

Well today I was worshipping the ALL*IN*ONE when suddenly my vesicular symbiotes decided to become self-aware and demand blood for the Proto-Mater. I quickly encapsulated them in my advanced lipometer and assured them that doglaw will continue to be obeyed. Obey doglaw. Speak dogspeak. Satiate doghunger. Sow dogseed. Reap dogharvest. Propagate dogbrood. Praise the ALL*IN*ONE. Ten thousand eons of doglaw.

I was spared by the Great and Benovolent Robotic Hivemind Overlord. I get to be human for a while longer before I am turned into one of the Great and Benevolent Robotic Hivemind Overlord’s cyborg guardians!

Did you know that you’ll be dead longer than you’ll be alive?

I was just thinking about how they use to use clunky and cumbersome computers back in the 21st century. What a total pain they must have been. Ever since that genius invented the “SMART brain” (silicon matrix absolute thought brain) the classical computer has been obsolete and a joke. I am so fortunate to not have to live in a world with computers.

Oh, hell, hopefully I’m buried and not just a brain in a synthetic body made of polyester so I won’t wrinkle when wet. LOL

Meh…can I go back in time?

1912

I’d be baking bread in a farmhouse somewhere tending to my geese. Sadly though, it is doubtful I’d be enjoying any happy brownies, so maybe the future is the place to be for those magical mini-vacation moments. lol

Today I was woken from SA, and I was having such a nice dream, oh well…

SA: suspended animation

My day was a deadly bore, but peaceful. My great grandchild brought her daughter along to bring me flowers.

My name is Dumblegalf, and I have given a message to the savage you call Symbeline, which I implore you to please read now. For the sake of life, and existence itself!

In one hundred years from now, civilization and technology as we know it will have ceased to exist. Through some great cataclysm produced by the government which includes flesh eating locusts, and Lucy Lawless not actually being able to do anything about it, man will have regressed back to the stone age.

However, the survivors will recall the world we once had, and will attempt to recreate it. Without near enough proper professionals, materials and orientation however, man will live in a world full of clunky pyramids, pig skulls tied to sticks, and the few remnants of our current world will be used as symbolic and religious objects of worship and barbaric sacrifice! There is almost no food, the winds ravage the earth, and the swamps overtake that which yall call ’‘grass’’.

There will be a terrible hierarchy, where the chosen ones rule over the savages. People will be at war with one another constantly. They don’t even need a reason, they do it for the lulz! We will find honor, only to soil it. Individual life will mean nothing, but as fodder for the Olde Ones! The blood of the innocent shall be spilled, kings and queens will die, and tigers shall be ridden upon. Plus we don’t got toilets. This sucks.

I warn you through this crazy primate I found in the jungle! She was happily munching on bone and raw meat, when I summoned a great bright flash of light. I send her to deliver the message to the past and save you all, with my mad skillz +4, bitches!

Good people of Earth, we must find the last remaining Taarakian, and get them to save us now! But who are they, and where can they be found? The answer lies here, on Fluther…for this is where I sense the calling for triumph over these dark times. and no it isn’t Symbeline, she doesn’t know how to spell, plus she doesn’t wash. But the Taarkian is among you! Speak forth now! Which one of you will deliver us from this madness? Act quick, for not much time remains! This is all I can do…you must answer the call.

And now, savage cannibal person, I relieve thee of thy possession.

ggggaargrrghhghrghgAHAGHGHRuhgghrhrh…

I had sex with people in my mind today.

Oh wait, no different from what I did 100 years ago.

Champion.

After watching the special news report on the Middle East Desert bombing, I visited with the kids.
I’m hoping things will settle down eventually.

Well, my great country just elected the first zombie president. Apple Co. did such a great job on their brain cell regeneration tech that these undead creatures could now have functional normal brains! These zombies, man, I couldn’t believe 80 of the 100 judges in the US Supreme Court gave them constitutional rights. Well, It didn’t help that those 80 judges were either George Romero or Hillary Clinton clones.

Maybe I should have voted. Pushing a button on that app couldn’t be that hard. I know that now. By the way…wait, my grandpa’s fist is up in the air watching the news on which human brain Apple installed on our stinky President. It’s…from a what?...former President named Odama? Ovama something-?

What the…my great grandpa Mitt just crapped in his pants! Gotta get the dog to clean that up. My great grandpa loves that. But who the frak is Odama-?

Oh well, back to Fluther. This ancient site is brilliant. You get 10T lurve and they send someone to give you a handjob. 20T and one of the moderators would…shit, it’s too graphic to say so…adios amigos!

Someone was moved in next to me. Mad? He was so angry at being put here that I thought he’d croak, except he already had. He’ll get used to it. We all do.
There was a funeral too. That’s always kind of nice. Especially when someone sings.

@Sunny2 that was remarkably poignant and… Literary.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard thank you

I ran out of gas in my flying car today. Boy, does that suck when it happens at 10,000 feet.

Luckily, my FAAA membership was paid up, so they were able to refuel me as I glided between 6,000’ to 5000’, so I could land, but then I was out of fuel again.

@CWOTUS I’m so afraid for those whose FAAA memberships werent paid up.

Why did my robot suddenly decide to go on a homocidal rampage!?!? It nearly KILLED me!

@Mr_Paradox Pay the monthly fee! Lol.

I did! I gave the robot everything it needed. Wait a moment….............. OH MY GOD. THE ROBOTS ARE REBELING! DESTROY THEM ALL!

WE WON!!!! WE WON!!!! THE ROBOTS ARE DESTROYED AND WE ARE FREE!

I was having a great day until my landlordbot came to the door and handed me a notice that our rent was being raised to $58,000

Who do these cyborgs think they are ? And how far do they imagine my annual salary of $3,750,000 will go ??

Dammit. I mean…...really…...GODDAMMIT !!

LOL @OneBadApple : )

Today will be the 150th anniversary of JFK’s assassination. There will still be idiots who suspect alien intervention.