Are you and your SO on very different wake sleep schedules?

When my husband was working, we were on completely opposite sleep schedules. He had to get up early like your husband, and I’m up all night long and sleep during the day. We literally never slept in the bed at the same time. It didn’t bother either of us too much… we were both awake when he left for work, and both awake when he came home. We spent the early evenings together and then I ‘tucked him in’ most nights (came up and scratched his back a bit while he drifted off to sleep). Neither of us thought the other was wrong, or got upset about it. If anything, he may have been a tad jealous that I had a job that allowed me to finally sleep on my preferred schedule. When left to his own devices he’s a night owl, too. He’s been unemployed for a year now, and has reverted to his preferred sleep schedule, which is very similar to mine. He only goes to bed a couple of hours before me at this point.

My ex-husband hated my night owl tendencies, though. It was a sore spot in our marriage.

The SO is normally more of a night owl, and I’m the early bird. Due to his work shifts (two morning, two night, and two afternoon plus the 7th day tacked on to one of them), it makes for an interesting life together. Fortunately, we are both like to nap.

Does it bother me? Nah. If anything, I wish he would stay up when I am ready to crash, but he likes to go to bed when I do, and and I don’t mind that at all. He prefers that I stay in bed instead of getting up before the crack of dawn, so I read or use the iPad.

It doesn’t negatively impact the relationship so far. If it did, we’d discuss it and work it out. And no, neither of us are right or wrong. It just is. It comes down to either compromising or learning to accept and adapt, as @augustlan and her husband have.

We are pretty much on the same schedule. Go to bed at the same time and wake up at a similar hour.

If there is a difference it is that I sometimes prefer to stay up later than he does but because he is so used to us going to bed at the same time he has been known to say “Come on, it’s bedtime” which really irritates me on occasions and I get all “I will go to bed when I am ready!” Doesn’t happen often and I suspect my irritation could coincide with hormonal peaks and troughs.

I am also an insomniac so I often wake up in the night and end up reading or getting up and doing other things.

I don’t have a sleep schedule. I know very few people who sleep as erratically as I do, and I lean way into being a night owl. My husband stays up late, but not nearly as late as me. I really am not bothered by it, as long as we find time to spend together. He dislikes it, but, has gotten used to it over the years that we’ve been together. It really doesn’t cause us any issues.

I work Monday through Friday, usually 700–1530, occasionally going in an hour early, I am generally up around 500–530 five days a week and prefer to sleep in on weekends.

My wife works retail; sometimes weekends, sometimes not, sometimes 830–1630, sometimes 1530–2230… basically random.

I tend to go to bed around midnight during the week and 100–200 on teh weekends… unless she is working. Some nights, she doesn’t sleep until after I am on my way to work.

Yes, he goes to bed around 10 or 11, and I stay up until I get sleepy, around 2 or 3 am. He wakes up at 6:30 am, and I sleep until noon.

When I was working at a regular job, I went to bed around 9 pm and got up around 7 am and his schedule was similar, but he stayed up later.

We are both early to bed, early to rise, although he is usually up before me now. Since we have moved to the frigid south, I find it a bit more difficult to get out of bed, but we like to walk the dogs first thing so we are out the door by 6 and if it is one of my mornings to run, he walks the old dog while I run with the young one. And most nights we are both sound asleep by 9.

My girlfriend describes herself as an “old lady” in that she goes to bed at 10–11pm and wakes up at 7am. I, on the other hand, go to bed around 5am and wake up at noon.

I am up at 5, and in bed by 9.
My wife is up at 6, in bed by midnight.

We are lucky enough to be on more or less the same schedule. I usually wake up between 6 and 7 on my own, and that’s when my partner gets up for work. We both usually fall asleep between 10 and 11.

Most recent relationship:
I woke anywhere between 4:45–6 am and went to sleep anywhere between 10— midnight
My SO would wake around 11 am and go to sleep anywhere between 2–4 am…..

sometimes I cared if I was feeling extra snuggly, but for the most part, we both did our own thing- and still spent time together. He’d often be frustrated I wanted to sleep “early” but understood I had to wake up early,,,,worked for a while

Yes, we have very different wake/sleep schedules. So much so, that he does not sleep in the same room as me. I go to bed earlier because I look after the children. He stays up and stays on the couch. I don’t know how long he stays up, in general, but he often sleeps until 10–11 in the morning, unless he has a flight to catch. We do not sleep together.

I tend to go to bed and get up an hour or two after he does. Sometimes I go to bed a couple of hours later but get up at the same time. I thrive on less sleep than he does.