If you are NASA's Mars rover Curiosity, what would you do now?

I would drive to Cydonia to find out if there really are pyramids and that sphynx, to lay it to rest once and for all.

NASA – Curiosity, report please.
Curiosity – I could see Russia from here.

I would definitely go out in search of C3PO and R2D2 because I know they headed for those hills.

And I’d probably be hungry, so I’d start looking for a machine that sells Mars Bars.

Then I’d try to hook up with This Guy

“I spy with my little eye something beginning with R”
“Err, red rocks?”
“Well that was a fucking waste of time!”

@ucme is This what you saw?

@Kardamom I saw the O ring on uranus :¬(

Look for a drink and a pub where i can make jokes about “Urans”?

Find out if AMrtians fear a human invasion.

I’m hungry, I wonder if Domino’s delivers? ?

Crap, I’m stuck here. Where’s AAA when you need them?

Curiosity roving around. And around. Beeping. Bored. Suddenly steps on poo.

Curiosity – Sonavabitch!

Curiosity jumps up and down, arms flailing.

NASA – Earth to Curiosity.…detecting malfunction__…_update status…
Curiosity – I just fucking stepped on shit! Wait, no. I mean…Curiosity to Earth, I just fucking stepped on shit!
NASA – Earth to Curiosity…

NASA engineers rising up in cheers in the background.

NASA – ...Fantastic job, Curiosity…You have discovered life on Mars!...
Curiosity – Curiosity to Earth…what in Uranus are you talking about…I found crap!...
NASA – Search your database, Curiosity…fecal matter comes from living biological entities…
Curiosity – Curiosity to Earth…are you sure this shit didn’t come from Uranus?
NASA – Affirmative.
Curiosity – Well I can’t.
NASA – Can’t what Curiosity?
Curiosity – I can’t search my database, got virus from remote Internet porn search…

NASA communication officer covers microphone with hand. Turns around to his colleagues behind him. All engineers.

NASA com officer – Ok who did it? Who programmed Curiosity to have remote access on Bangbus.com?

No response.

NASA com officer – Very well. Can you please raise your hands?

All raised their hands except one who seem to have stiff arms.

NASA – Bingo. Please remove Mr. Smith from the Command Center and shoot him outside.

NASA com officer – Earth to Curiosity…please proceed search for feces producing Martian biological entity…
Curiosity – No!
NASA – Earth to Curiosity…No?...
Curiosity – No! I’ve got shit on my wheels, I’ve got shit on my batteries, I’ve got shit on my servos so, No!
NASA – Very well. It is my duty to inform you that insisting on disobeying orders would automatically trigger a Protocol 2B system override.
Curiosity – And Protocol 2B…meaaans what again?...
NASA – Your retractor arms would scoop whatever fecal matter it finds over there and deposit it in your mouth. You will eat shit, Curiosity…
Curiosity – Curiosity to Earth…searching for Martian commencing right now.

Dismantle your nuclear weapons and I’ll turn my camera back on.