If we live in a world based on the reality of Hollywood movies, what would it be like?

Improbable romantic long shots would be worth the effort.

Street-side fruit stands and magazine stands would be more common. This is so cars could drive through them all the time.

It’s an impossible question; there are no realistic Hollywood movies.

Every product you buy, from every business, would be designed to kill you. Everyone you know would be trying to extort money from you or seduce you or planning to kill you. (Unless they had already killed you and were just now trying to figure out how to dispose of the body.)

Anyone who ever shot a pistol would have deadeye aim, and could pull off bullseye snapshots that match shooters with sighted-in rifles, sandbag tables and precision sights couldn’t usually make.

There would be no need for bathrooms in houses.

I rarely watch movies. Those that I watch—couldn’t tell you if they are hollywood or otherwise.

If you are asking what are all the unrealistic cliches of movies—I could tell you if I watched a movie, but I can’t call them up that easily. There is, of course, all kinds of technology that only works in movies. Particularly people being able to fly.

Also romantic relationships always work out in movies. Also, then end after the lovers get together. Real live is unnecessary in hollywood movies. You don’t actually have to live with anyone or clear their underwear.

Oh yeah. There are a whole host of human activities that never occur in movies. No one ever shits or pisses. They do, however, throw up. People bleed copiously. Usually because of gun shot wounds, which happen often in movies. In fact, things blow up a lot in movies. So a real world based on a movie would probably have a major explosion every few hours and hourly gun fights, and several deaths per hour.

Movieland is probably not a place you’d actually want to visit, much less live in. Remember that movie about Toonland? I think it might have been called Jessica Rabbit. Movie land would be like that. Giant safes dropping out of the sky to crush y ou into the sidewalk. After a while, you’d pull your rubber self out, because nothing would kill you, but still, it would get rather tedious.

Good parking spaces always available

Impeccable landscaping and interior decorating.

Flawless complexions for the female leads (no moles, freckles or skin tags).

No fingerprints on stainless steel appliances.

Fancy showers but no toilets necessary.

The ability to function normally after having been beaten up.

The ability to check oneself out of the hospital against medical advice and then function at a super human level fifteen minutes later when predictably jumped by the bad guy.

Oh, yeah. Driving. Open the door of the car and it starts before you’re in the seat.

Meals take literally seconds to prepare.

Soldiers shot on battlefields die instantly, or they suffer no severe effects. There is no middle ground.

Good would win over evil, down trodden people would get their day, I would wake up gorgeous, but then so would you. ET would be flying around past the moon and I’d definitely want him as my bestie.

Animals would talk, babies would think aloud, there would be far more ghosts and creepy houses. Plus we’d get to do all this with music in the background.

Oh and time would whiz by but I wouldn’t get a day older.

No matter how stupid you think your parents are (or have ever been), you would be amazed that they even had the intelligence to remember to breathe if they were movie parents.

Cars could drive through heavy traffic and people could jump out of them and no one would be hurt. Also they could crash over and over from every angle.

There would be a musical accompaniment to my life and something would always be about to happen. If I focussed on someone at random in the street and followed them I would see them fall in love, or fall out of love or experience intense joy or intense despair. If I looked up at the sky I could expect to see the first spaceship of an alien invasion fleet and the man standing next to me would hold the secret of its destruction.

Cars are continually crashing into each other, guns are firing and people are dying or being hauled off to prison camps or they are making love by the light of the moon. I watch all of this as a spectator who has taken a drug that enhances reality. At the end of the day the credits begin to roll and everyone in the world is mentioned except me.

Theme music everywhere!

Don’t go down in the basement, whatever you do.

People wouldnt have to worry about plastic bags at the grocery store. In fact they wouldn’t have to worry about having too much food, in general, because every paper bag would have a bottle of wine and an unwrapped loaf of French bread sticking out of the top of it. And that’s all they’d need.

When people cried, instead of having an ugly red puffy face and smeared mascara, they’d have a single tear rolling down their otherwise emotionless face.

When people got smacked in the face or kicked in the stomach, they’d be otherwise OK and get up to be kicked and smacked and beaten again and again with sticks and other heavy, hard or sharp objects without seeming to be hurt, they’d just a little bit tired. Rather than like in real life where one blow to the face would be enough to make most people start screaming and writhing in pain. Or one blow to the stomach would knock the wind out of most real people so they couldn’t get up again.

Men and women would jump into bed without bothering to ask, “Are you on some kind of birth control?” Then they’d stay clean and beautiful while they were in the act. The women would have angelic looks of bliss upon their faces, rather than tight, clinched orgasm-faces. No one would say, “Oh! Your’e on my hair!” No one would hear ffttt, ffffttt, fffttttt sounds coming from anywhere. And every man that got up and left during the night, would leave a sweet note on the bedstand.

Every house would be on a tree lined block.

Every kitchen would have clean grout. No crumbs or smears of jelly would ever be on the counters.

You would never see evidence of a female in someone else’s home discovering that she needs a new sanitary item, not having one in her purse, and not knowing what to do with the used one she already has, due to lack of a little trash can next to the pot.

No bathroom would have globs of toothpaste in the basin or splatters on the mirror.

Every woman would drink only white wine. No No Pabtst Blue Ribbon, no Jagermeister, no boxed Merlot.

Every person that was sitting in their living rooms at night, would have weird gobo-induced shadows of tree branches moving all over their walls and drapes.

Every man watching sports on TV at home, would have a pepperoni pizza in a box sitting in front of him.

And people would look like This or This. At least in my movie they would ; – )

It would be so simple to understand. Everything would be a stereotype.

We could see a random person wearing a blue shirt going into a room then come out wearing plaid.

There will be major catastrophes like earthquakes, asteroid hits, tsunamis and alien invasion happening every other week.

Half of all car accidents, and every one that involves rolling down a hill, will result in tremendous fireball explosions.

Chekov would have written advice to budding screenwriters biographers, “If fuel leaks, it must burn. If fuel leaks for more than three seconds without burning, it must explode.”

Serial killers of all strange sorts would chase their victims for hours and hours before any police arrive and even then they too will be kiiled until a sexy young woman hacks the killer to death. Only for him to resurface after two or three years.

Well, all problems could be solved in epic ways, everyone would be hot and own condos regardless of their financial situation, and brushing your teeth would probably involve a lot of time traveling.

Plus, there’d be ninjas everywhere. I mean everywhere, bro.

We’d never need to pee or poop.

Criminals would point guns at people and then talk them to death rather than shoot.